Solar Flares
by EmeraldChick
Summary: In May 2006, Serina Ricci wakes up one beautiful morning to an urgent call from her Uncle Carlisle, "how fast can you be in Forks Washington permanently?" When she gets there, she is confronted by chaos as the personal lives treaty between the werewolves and the vampires is quickly unraveling. She must help them fast to save all of their sanity, and restore balance.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Serina has a backstory like Rosalie in the sense that she had gotten raped. She is having a graphic nightmare because of her PTSD. Please skip to after the bold part if this triggers you in any way. There is nothing important that you need to know.

**-This is a memory of a rape scene. please skip if it is triggering-**

I could not walk in the ceremonial dress and spiked heels that my mother put me in for this. I stumbled through the bedroom, knowing he did not use this chamber for sleeping.

"Hello, my dear," said his sick voice. "You look delicious. Come to me."

My legs moved me against my will as I went closer to the vampire. He reached his cold, white hand out for me and I took it, knowing what would happen if I refused. He grabbed my hand, and his thin lips kissed it in the mock form of a gentleman. Then he pulled me into his body, kissing my lips and neck. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. Tears were pouring down my face, as he caressed me.

"This won't hurt," he promised, as his hands moved to my neck.

I tried to scream again.

**-The scene is over-**

The phone rang, drawing me out of my nightmare. Gratefully, I got up and went to get it.

"Hello?"

"Serina? Are you there?" came the voice of my favorite uncle, Carlisle Cullen.

"Zio! Hi. How are you?"

"I am fine. How are you?"

There was silence. "Well, I am in a bit of a situation that could use your expertise."

"Oh really. What?"

"As you know we moved back to Forks."

"Yes. You must love that place.

"We do. But I am calling because there is a werewolf pack here, about ten of them, and they are in desperate need of your services."

"Werewolves? I have not worked with a whole pack in decades."

"I know this would be an opportunity for you to retain those muscles. You have only been dealing with the human psyche for the last half century."

"Carlisle, I am sympathetic, but there is no way I can just drop everything and move to Forks to play headshrinker to a bunch of teenagers. I have a job, a boyfriend, and responsibilities."

"You have a job that you hate because you have to pretend that you are a pretentious artist who works in a museum when you want to drink, ride motorcycles, and stay up all night with loose men. Speaking of a boyfriend, you don't have a boyfriend, you have several and I don't think you can tell me any of their names. And as far as responsibilities go, what exactly are you referring to?"

"I have to…" stumped I knew he got me. "Come on, I don't want to go to La Push, you know what happened there last time."

"This pack has nothing to do with Levi Uley. You have not seen him since 1914."

I cringed when he said Levi's name. The last thing I wanted was to go to the place where my heart was broken and talk to Levi's descendants, I wished him well a century ago and I was done with him. If he wanted to imprint on a girl, then that was his business.

"Listen to who we are worried about, okay?"

"Well, several people have not responded well to becoming a vampire or a werewolf?"

"Okay, like who?"

"Rose, is angry and bitter constantly. Edward has attempted suicide multiple time. Jasper only talks to Alice. Several of the werewolves have not adjusted either, Sam Paul, Leah, and Jacob are the worse."

"That is plenty to do a support group. Who else?"

"Another problem is grief. You can not be in a situation like this and not lose somebody."

"I agree. We can make that one open. Let anyone come on any given week."

"Also I think there might be um Nostalgia, or what it is called now? I am not good with this one. I can get depression and anxiety fine, but this one has a new name every decade."

"PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but I knew what you meant."

"And then there is Bella."

"Who is Bella?"

"Bella is a charming young woman who Edward fancies, and she has taken a liking to the whole family."

"That is wonderful."

"The only problem is that she is human and she is desperate to become a vampire. If we change her, the entire treaty could be destroyed. If we keep her human, she could be killed."

"Wait. Who would kill her?"

"Edward had to suck poison out of her to save her life and got carried away and she wound up in the hospital. Jasper tried once accidentally. Then we left and Bella got so depressed she was borderline suicidal. Then she hung out with werewolves who were no safer. Then there was that mess with Lauraunt, a nomad who got close to her when she was hiking and the wolves saved her. Then she attempted suicide by jumping off a cliff, and finally saved Edward from committing suicide by showing up to the Voulturie. Now she claims to be happy, but I am not so sure."

"You think?! Damn it Carlisle, I am a therapist not a miracle worker. That girl needs to be hospitalized."

"Take her to the hospital and tell them what? I was so depressed when my vampire boyfriend left me, I jumped off a cliff in my werewolf friend's backyard?"

I saw his point. That child's life was so crazy, she deserved to go a little nuts, but this was overboard. I needed to do some damage control with her first so that we do not lose her. Also, it looked like she wanted to be a vampire based on an emotional decision, which was not a good idea.

"Serina, I need your help. Bad."

I took a deep breath. "Carlisle. I hate my job, and you need my help, of course I will come. But, I am not a miracle worker. It is going to take months, maybe years to get everyone stable and healthy. I am not going to bill you, but I need to hunt, have Wi-Fi, cable, transportation, and maybe some spending money."

"You insult me. When have I ever asked for handouts? My land is your land, and Billy will adapt you into the treaty. I have already spoken to him. You can come on his land as long as you are announced and are with a werewolf escort. Esme will have a small cottage prepared for you when you get here so you can be alone, complete with Wifi and cable of course. The front room will be designed for you to have sessions. Also, when you get here, there will be an unlimited Master Card and a 2007 Harley Davidson both in your name. You can hunt on any of our properties, or come into the big house and cook."

"Carlisle, you would have made a great salesman in another life."

"You will do it?"

"Of course, Zio. I am already looking at flights."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Cullens

When I got off the plane, I walked down the terminal and saw Rosalie and Emmett standing there waiting to greet me. I ran up to them to give them a big hug. "Hey guys, it's been so long," I said.

"Hey Rena," said Emmett. "We haven't seen you since the treaty. Gosh that's been forever ago."

I nodded and turned towards Rosalie and saw that she was disapproving look she was giving me.

"What?" I asked.

"That is what you're wearing?" she said, looking at my T-shirt and dark wash jeans and a black leather jacket.

"Yeah. What's wrong with it?" I asked.

"It's from the 70's," she said.

"No, it looks like its from the 70's. It's from the 90s. And give me a break. It was a long plane ride from Italy to here. This is comfortable," I argued, rubbing a hand down my leather jacket.

"I think it's hot," said Emmett.

"Thank you," I said, grinning at my cousin.

Rose sighed. "When we get you settled, we're going shopping and getting your clothes from this century."

"I'll go shopping," I said, "but only with Esme. She lets me get whatever I want."

"I have to come to make sure you do not look totally ridiculous," demanded Rosalie.

"Well, you'll have to take Alice then. She'll feel left out if you don't," said Emmett

"Okay. Shopping trip in Seattle this weekend," I said. "They have a Hot Topic downtown, right?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and Emmett grabbed my bags as they lead the way to the car.

When we pulled up to Carlisle's house there was a red truck in the long driveway that I didn't recognize. It was an old beat down 67 Chevy what's the paint peeling off, definitely not my cousins' style.

"Are we expecting company?" I asked. I was not prepared to hide my nature right now, I needed to hunt.

"Oh God," said Rosalie "she's here."

"Who?" I asked.

"Calm down, Rose," said Emmett. "she's part of our family now. Besides Sierenna

is going to treat her too, so they need to get to know each other."

"Who is here?" I asked again.

"Bella," said Rosalie with disgust.

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering Carlisle's conversation now, "the human girlfriend of Edward. So you don't like her, Rose?"

"She's fine. I just don't get why she is the one Edward is infatuated with and is breaking all of the God damn rules for!"

"I see," I said smiling. God forbid Rosalie not be the center of everyone's universe, there is a new girl in town. "Well, lets not keep everybody waiting. I still have to go meet a wolf pack." I got out of the truck and walked into the house. Esme was there at the door.

"Hello Sisi dear!" she said and gave me a big hug.

"Hey Aunt Esme. How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said. "How was your flight?"

"Long, but I got to prepare a lot, and confer with my mom on the way up here," I said walking in.

"Oh, is she okay with you doing this?"

"Of course. She just wants me to be careful, you know. Because of last time."

We walked into the living room, and there I saw all of my other cousins. Alice pranced up to me and gave me a peck on the cheek, and I gave her a big hug.

"Your here," she cried. She looked me up and down, "What are you wearing?"

"Like I told Rose, I am doing y'all a favor. I am not going to become your live in barbie doll," I said.

She pouted, "We will see."

Jasper was right behind her, of course, and took my hand and kissed it like the southern gentleman he is. "Welcome," he said. "Thank you for coming."

Jasper was the only one of the Cullens that I had counseled before. He was in so much pain when he joined the Cullen family back in the 1950's Carlisle called me to help him adjust. I was sad that he had not called me himself if he was in so much pain.

"I will always come if you need me Jasper. You are my family," I said.

He gave me a small smile, them weaved his arm back around Alice. They dissolve into each other comforting one another.

There was one more. I looked over to the stairwell to see Edward, standing there all put together like he was trying to impress someone. The last time we spoke we had gotten into a bad argument about Levi Uley and me, and I was worried that he still angry. "Hey sour puss," I said, "it's been a long time."

"Serina, I want you to meet someone," he said. He moved aside to reveal someone was standing behind Edward by the stairs. She was halfway hidden behind Edward but I could tell she was about five and a half feet tall, long brown hair, which she hid in a ponytail. She had on a simple hoodie and dark jeans, no make up, and some converse on. I could see how the girl's fashion sense would infuriate Rosalie and Alice, and endear Edward.

"Hi," I said to her.

She waved at me and stayed hidden, confirming my suspicions that she was shy.

"Not many women catch Edward's eye, you must be very special."

She blushed at the compliment.

"I am Serina, Edwards cousin. What is your name?" I said, extending my hand to her.

"Bella," she said. She walked towards me and shook my hand. "Your hands are not cold like most vampires," she said.

"Observant, and clearly you have been around our kind too long if you know that much," I said, raising an eyebrow to Edward. "My unique disposition will be explained when we meet the wolves, which I believe we are doing soon," I said, looking at Carlisle.

"Yes, it is about 8:30 and I told Billy Black to expect us at 9:00. We should get going," said Carlisle.


	3. Chapter 3

Second Beach, La Push, 9:00 Friday night

We drove up to a secluded spot on the beach, that even had a no trespassing sign on it. When I got out of Carlisle's Mercedes, I got a scent of werewolf and human. I was excited to see Billy, Harry, and Quil because I haven't seen my little friends in so long.

"You know they are all old, married with children?" said Edward, reading my thoughts. "They are not little kids anymore."

"I know," I said.

"And some stuff happened with Joshua Uley. So he is not someone you want to bring up."

I stared at Edward. "This is Levi's family," I said indignantly. "I have kept up with who is here and who isn't, cousin."

"You been stalking your ex-boyfriend?" asked Emmett.

I turned around and punched him in the shoulder. "We were never together!" I said. "Excuse me for being aware of what happened to my friends."

Together, we started to walk towards the circle of wolves and humans who waited for us with weariness and open hostility. In fact, only Billy looked at ease that I was finally here to help, and the rest of them looked like they wanted to at best put me back on the plane, and at worst rip me apart. They are scared and hurt and they have to take help from someone who looks like a vampire, I thought to myself, of course they are apprehensive.

As we approached the circle, I noticed a man sitting who did not look Quileute. He had a police jacket on that said Forks Police Department on it. When I walked closer to him, I saw that he also had "C. Swan" on his left shoulder.

"Bella's father?" I asked Edward.

"Yes, it was so difficult on Bella and Billy to keep the secret from him that we decided to let him in on the secret. He has adjusted fairly well, but he favors the wolves over the vampires."

"He was not on Carlisle's list. I am guessing that he adjusting to everything all right."

"Better than alright. He is simply amazing. He is so calm with everything that we can tell him just about anything."

"Good," I said, as we approached the circle. Everybody stopped talking when they noticed a bunch of vampires coming into their midst.

"Hello Billy," I said.

"Hi Rena. How are you?"

"Im alright. Its good to be back here," I lied.

"Wait," said Bella "You were here before?"

"I was a witness to the treaty being signed, and a mediator between the Cullens and the pack."

"Also, she is a close friend to this pack," said Billy.

"Really," asked one of the younger ones.

"Seth," whispered Edward.

"Who did you know?" asked Seth.

I smiled, thinking of my time with Levi, back in the happy moments when we were just young kids hanging out in 1910 La Push, sparing, cliff-jumping, riding in my Model T late at night on the dirt roads. I shook my head free of the memories, those days were gone.

"All of them," I said. "Ephraim, Levi, and Quil. Let's see if I can tell who is who."

There was a young boy standing behind everybody. He looked scared to be so close to the vampires. I pointed to him and did the come hither movement with my finger.

"What is your name?"

He looked to Billy for guidance, and Billy smiled and nodded.

"I'm Collin Littlesea," he said shyly.

"Hi, Collin. I'm Sierina Ricci."

He waved at me then step back into the safety of the pack. Then I scan the pack again for Ephrium's face, and I see it strongly in a young man standing beside of Billy. In fact the resemblance between him and Billy are so strong…

"You must be Jacob Black," I said to him.

"Yeah," he said. He was staring at me intensely waiting for me to say something.

I ignored him and continued to scan their faces. There was another boy standing beside him with his arm wrapped around a young girl.

"Hello," I said to the girl smiling.

She hid behind the boy who said, "I'm Jared. This is Kim." I nodded and continued on.

There was another boy there who was a bundle of energy. "Hi," I said.

"Hey, I am Seth. This is my sister Leah," he said, gesturing to the girl beside him.

"Nice to meet y'all. How old are you Seth?"

"Fifteen, but I'll be sixteen on October 8, in about a month."

"Wow. Going to do anything exciting?"

"Jacob's gonna teach me to ride a motorcycle."

"Okay," I said, laughing. "What kind?"

"A Honda Scrambler. It was Bella's, but her dad does not let her ride it, so she gave it to me. Mom says I have to be careful, but it is no more dangerous than fighting vampires."

"Oh? Are you quite the expert on that?"

He looked down and kicked the dirt. "Not yet. Sam said I can't fight till I grow a little."

"He's right," I said. "When you get bigger, they won't stand a chance."

He looked up and smiled. I moved on to his sister Leah, who said nothing since I got here. She was standoffish and almost looked like she was ready to jump out of her skin than talk to me. I figured that was fine. There was time for us to talk later.

"Well that is all of Ephraim's descendants. Now for Atera's."

I scanned them again, and noticed a young boy with curly hair shifting his feet. "What is your name?"

"Quil Atera."

"You are one of the only Atera descendents with the wolf gene, aren't you?"

"We think so."

"Well, you must be very special," I whispered to him.

He grinned, and I grinned back.

Beside him stood a tall, lanky boy who I could not place for the life of me. I looked at him, trying to figure out his heritage somehow, but nothing came to me. "You are going to have to tell me your name," I finally confessed.

"Embry Call," he said. "My mom is of the Meka tribe and she refuses to tell me who my father is."

My heart went out to the kid. I knew it was hard not knowing who you came from or why. I nodded and smiled a little bit at him. "An old friend once told me you are who you are. Your heritage does not define you."

He nodded and retreated back into the group.

I turned to the last three, and saw the faces of Uley and Ephraim.

"Why are you here?" asked the tall slender one angrily.

"All will be explained in a minute," I said. "First, tell me your names."

They were silent for a minute. We stood there at an impasse for a while, staring each other down.

Finally, the tall one in the middle sighed. "I am Sam Uley," he said. "This is Paul Lahote," gesturing to the one who approached me, "and this is Jared Cameron."

"I am Serina Ricci. Your therapist."


	4. Chapter 4

"Hell no!" yelled Paul.

"You want to bet?" asked Leah finally in a hostile voice.

Emmett started laughing hysterically. "That is what y'all get for being such loose cannons, you freaking parasites," he said through his booming laughter.

"Um, Emmett," said Edward, "I think she wants to talk to us too."

"Why?!" cried Emmett, laughter suddenly turning to anger. "What the hell did I do?"

"I seem to recall someone attacking a werewolf instead of Victoria," said Alice.

"That was the parasites fault. I don't need a shrink, they do!" he protested.

"This is textbook for," said Jasper, "what's that word? Denial?"

"To hell with all of you!" screamed Emmett.

"If I may offer a peaceful solution," I said, and waited until I had everyone's attention until they all looked at me. "There is a compromise. It is possible that some of you are fine, and you are coming as best as you can, and it is possible that some of you may benefit from talk therapy CBT, DBT, EMDR, or a support group. I suggest-"

"Carlisle, what is this witchcraft she wants to do to us?" asked Alice, clinging to Jasper's arm.

"All of it is talking therapy, Alice," soothed my uncle. "Except EMDR. It uses lights to relax you and engage both sides of your brain so that you can talk about distressing events. I have done it with her to recall how I got changed. It is not shock therapy or anything like what they did to you in that hospital. I would never condone that, love."

"Alice," I said. "Carlisle is right. CBT stands for cognitive behavioral therapy and it looks at how your thoughts affect your behaviors and creates your emotions. DBT stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and it works with how you go from extreme emotions to calmer emotions so that you can think. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reuptake, and it uses a pen light to relax your brain so that you can recall trauma and talk about de-stressing events. I have been trained in all three areas. CBT works best with vampires, DBT works best with werewolves, and humans can respond to both. None of it hurts. I swear, cuz."

"None of it touches me?" she asked.

"Nope," I said, shaking my head.

Jasper pulled her into a big hug and placed a kiss at the base of her neck. He mumbled something to her, which I caught the last bit, "Only I can touch you, love."

"How much is your rate?" asked one of the council members. She was the only one I have not met so that made her, Sue Clearwater.

"Carlisle and I are working out a barter system, and it will cover the werewolves fees. Considered repayment for years of friendship from your ancestors," I said.

"Your both going," she said, looking at her children.

"Mom!" whined Seth.

"You cant make me go. I'm 18," said Leah.

"I can make you go," said Billy. "I am chief. If you are part of this pack, you are getting assessed and that is final!"

"What?!" said Brady.

"No!" said Paul.

"Just because the Cullens are crazy doesn't mean we are all crazy!" screamed Jacob.

"I'm not finished!" yelled Billy. "And if you fail the assessment, then you report to Serina until she releases you. Or you are barred from fighting with the pack."

Brady raised his hand, "We are too young to fight with the pack anyway, so does that mean we are off the hook."

"Yeah!" said Collin.

"You never fought a vampire?" I asked.

They both shook their heads.

"Do yall know how to spar?"

"No," said Brady.

"I'll make you a deal. Yall do the assessment and be honest, and I will teach you how to spar with each other. Okay?"

"Deal," they said together.

"Now, if you don't come for the three times for the assessment, and any other times for therapy, the deal is off."

"Hey," said Brady, "no fair."

"She conned us," said Collin.

"Okay, I am going to go home and make up a system where you guys can login and select a time when you want to meet. I can email Billy the link and he can get it to all of you guys. You will make up a code them just select a day and time when you can meet. I can meet pretty much anytime, and am only seeing yall and the Cullens so I should be able to get everyone in. Then at the day and time of the session we will meet at the Cullens address, at my place, and have our session, sound good?"

"There is nothing in this situation that sounds good," said Paul.

"It sounds fairly simple," said Sam, ignoring him.

I smiled. "Does everyone know how to get to the Cullens' house? I know y'all dont get up that ways because of the treaty and all."

"We know how to get there," mumbled Jacob. "We have been there a couple of times."

"Good," I said.

"This will be really good for all of you guys," said Bella. "I am so glad you are doing this."

Leah literally growled, and Rose glared daggers into Bella.

"Well, you get a little bit of the action, Bella. Carlisle is worried about you too."

"Huh?" she said, looking at me with shock in her eyes.

"Well, when you jump off a cliff, then get saved by a werewolf, then run away to rescue your vampire lover, all in twenty-four hours everybody's going to get a little worried."

"But I can explain all of that," she said.

"What is your explanation?" I asked.

She looked around the big campfires and looked down at her feet. ""It's personal," she mumbled.

"All right," I said. "We can discuss it in session." She looked at me like she was going to complain, but then closed her mouth. "Everyone in agreement? No support groups 'til all the assessments are done. I think it will take two weeks to see everyone for an assessment so just pick one date in the next two weeks and I will tell you in session how often we need to meet. Okay?"

"I was so excited to see you this morning," said Emmett, "now I am ready to send you home."

I rolled my eyes. "Hey, look I know this part is not fun, but I we can do some stuff that is fun. I am going to be here a while. We are going to go shopping tomorrow, there is a new club open in Port Angeles, and I want to help with the nomads coming after Bella. It's not going to be all work. I promise."

They mumbled their agreements. Paul and Leah glared at me with open hostility. The other werewolves tried to talk their way out of it with Billy, who ignored them. Only Sam accepted his fate. As for my family, none of them looked happy either, except Edward, who was happy that Bella was going to see someone. I realized that I had made Billy and Carlisle happy, but I had made a lot of enemies. This was going to be an uphill battle.


	5. Chapter 5

"Come with me," said Esme, when we had gotten home from the reservation. She lead me down a stone path to a beautiful cottage. "Its a Versailles Cottage. It's got a small bedroom in the back, a kitchen in the front, a living room, and a dining room. But we could put another couch and some chairs in there and we can set it up as the office where you do sessions."

"What is the dimensions of the dining room? I need to fit grown werewolves in there "

"11' by 11'," she said.

"That is the size of a normal office. Sounds perfect. Is there any way I can put up a door for privacy?"

She stopped and thought a minute, cocking her head to the side, "Normally I would say no, but since you're my niece, I guess I can pull a few strings."

Laughing, I rolled my eyes and pushed her. When we got to the house, I saw the polished stone walkway leading up, to a beautiful brick house. I took the key from Esme, and unlocked the ebony door and walked into the living room. It had a classic traditional tufted white love seat against the left wall, a wingback guest chair in the opposite corner with a gray throw on it, there was a white linen ottoman sitting in front of the chair. On it was a tray with a stack of LIFE magazine, a bottle of Macallan Scotch, and a vase of red roses.

I was crying when I walked through the room. "Oh, Zia, you did not have to do this," I said. I picked up the scotch bottle, "Macallan, I can't believe you found this."

"The wonders of Amazon," she said.

"Does the whole house have a 40's vibe to it?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. I have all of the houses set in the period when they were turned, then we keep the main house modern so we can have the best of both worlds. I am particularly proud of your bedroom. It's just through that door."

My curiosity piqued, I went through the door and was amazed at what I saw. There was a full bed with white silk sheets pushed up against the wall underneath the window. On the north side, there was a white vanity with a mirror and candles. I walked out and pulled out the deep drawers, there was enough room to hold what little make-up and jewelry I bought, and whatever Alice would insist on buying me. Then I saw the five drawer dresser next to the double door closet.

Finally, I walked into the master bath. There was a 1940's tub and shower combo next to the porcelain bathroom sink with a place down at the bottom to store towels and washcloths.

I walked out of the bathroom back into my room, and grinned at Esme.

"How did you do all of this?"

"Well, this is the one place where we don't have to hide who we are, and I figured you would be kind of nostalgic. I wanted you to have something classic and pretty, so here we are. This is the other bathroom," she said, opening the door. "It's just a half bath, and I figured it could be where clients use the restroom so they don't have to go into your bedroom."

"You think of everything," I said, smiling.

She lead me back through the living room into the kitchen. I had a sink, a dishwasher, a stove, a refrigerator, and a table that sat six. "This will be great Esme. I was trying to figure out what to do for snacks to feed the werewolves and Bella."

She smiled. "Plus, I know you eat human food and drink blood, so I wanted you to feel like you could do whatever you needed to."

"Thank you," I said. "I know it is hard to have such an anomaly as a relative."

"Oh heavens no! You are our family. I do not care about any of that." She came around the breakfast table and gave me a hug. "I love you very much. Never forget that."

I hugged her back, and leaned into the fact that I was loved. Maybe they were not ashamed of me after all, I thought to myself. After a minute we let each other go.

"There is one more room," she said.

"Yep, the therapy room."

The door opened up into a large room, 11' by 11'. It had a window across from the door and a window catercorner to that, and a big window straight out the back of the room. The room was empty except for a white shag carpet.

"I don't quite know how to set up this room, so I did not do anything with it yet."

"Okay, this is supposed to be the dining room, but I am not going to make it the dining room. It is going to be the office and therapy room. I am going to make kind of like a circle of chairs. First, I am going to have a couch go against that long wall, its seven and a half feet. My chair is going to sit directly across from it. Then I am two recliners sit catty-corner to the couch, and use one for the EMDR."

"That is the witchcraft stuff right?"

"It's not witchcraft! It is supported by science that-" I sighed. She was changed in the 1920's in an asylum, I was going to loose this argument. "Yeah, it is the witchcraft stuff."

"Well, you already have a vision in your head. I will get everything ordered. It can be here by this weekend and you can see clients on Monday."

"Perfect. I will get the portal set up and then we will be good to go."

"See. Portal. Witchcraft," she said, smiling.

I rolled my eyes. Edward looked at me with sympathy and mouthed "Sorry."


	6. Chapter 6

It did not take long to set up the portal. True to his promise, Carlisle's internet was fast, and I was able to build the website in about an hour and a half, explaining the individual sessions, each of the groups and when they would be, and setting up a portal for the clients to use. Each client could make up a username and password, then click a couple buttons to schedule their appointment. Then there was another place where they could email me directly if they lost my email or phone number, and I would receive a message in my inbox. With that done, I emailed Carlisle and Billy, saying that the website and the portal was ready and went to bed.

The next morning, Sunday, I woke up in my bed, and I was starving. I wanted to go hunting and feed on some fresh blood. With my pajamas on, I went out and followed my nose until I found the scent of a young doe. I found her in a thicket, surrounded by the green woods. Cautiously, I crept towards her, my feet finding the silent footpath towards her. Finally, I pounced on her and sink my teeth into her soft tissue. When I was finished with my meal, I went back to the house.

Once at the cottage, I stumbled to the shower, and turned on the water. Slowly, I started washing my hair with whatever Alice put into my shower. Looking at the bottle, I saw it was something called Unite Shampoo from 7SECONDS. I had a sickening feeling it was close to fifty dollars a bottle. Squeezing a little bit in my hand, I slowly massaged it into my scalp then washed it out. I did the same with the conditioner. Rinsing my hair out, I used the loofah and the body wash. I prayed that it was something reasonable, but then saw that it was none other than Chanel Coco foaming shower gel. I lathered up my body and sighed. "If this is what she wants me to bathe with, what is she going to expect me to wear?" I thought.

When I was done with my shower, I dressed in a black skirt down to my knees, a red tank, a denim jacket, and some black pumps. For my make-up, I just put on some blush and some pink lip gloss. I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought that it would do. Alice might even be satisfied. When I was done, I picked up the phone and texted Alice, "Coming to the house. Be ready to go shopping!"

We walked down the sidewalk with our bags from PacSun, Aeropostale, Holister, JCPenney, and Maurices. We reached Alice's Porsche and Rose's BMW sitting side-by-side parked out in front of Starbucks at the strip mall.

"We spent too much money," I said to Alice as we were riding back.

"Nonsense. You can't go around looking like you were dragged here from the 80's."

"We bought the store! Bras, panties, tank tops, shirts, jeans, leggings, dresses, heels, boots, converse, flip flops. I mean, why do I need flip flops? It rains ninety percent of the time here."

"You are going to go to the Reservation, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"They have beaches."

"Made of rocks, not sand."

"What do you want me to say? They were cute and on sale."

"Oh my God. You have a retail addiction," I said laughing. "Well, I did like the jeans and shirts. Thank you for letting me buy what I wanted."

"Your welcome. It was very hard for me."

"I know."

"You have no taste."

I rolled my eyes. "I know. How do I look today?"

She leaned back and looked me over. "You look fine," she said, satisfied.

"Well, thank you for taking me shopping. I needed those clothes and I will be able to be professional when I do my sessions." Thinking for a minute, I could not come up with the reason why we did not bring the human. "Why did Bella not want to come?" I asked.

"Oh, she is more interested in Edward than clothes," said Alice.

"Oh, okay," I said, smiling.

"I'm fine with that really. Really, I am glad that Edward found someone. But I wish that she was into shopping like me and Rose. You know? I need a girlfriend."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, maybe she will see all we come home with and become jealous," I said teasingly, "and then you will have a reason to go shopping again."

"Oh, I would love that!"

I smiled at her excitement. Alice was the one who could shop until you drop, and as a vampire that was saying something.

Suddenly, my stomach growled.

"What was that?" asked Alice.

"I don't know. I feed this morning, but suddenly I am starving," I confessed.

"We can stop and pick something up. What do you want?" she asked.

"Just a cheeseburger and some water from McDonalds will be fine."

"Here," she said, handing me her phone, "text Rose and tell her we are making a stop."

I tested Rosalie that I was hungry and we were stopping at McDonalds. She texted back that she would meet us at the house. When we pulled in the drive-thru, Alice paid for my food with her credit card. I dug in while we sped down the high-way towards Forks. The solid food felt good as I ate.

"So you need human food and blood?" asked Alice.

"There is no reasoning to it, but both satisfy me," I said.

"You need to have Carlisle look at you to make sure there is no problem."

"Uh-uh. I'm fine."

"Rena, you're a vampire and you feed this morning. That should last you 72 hours, but here you are eating a hamburger that is not normal."

"Nothing in that sentence is 'normal'. I'm fine," I insisted and dug into my hamburger ignoring my cousin's concern.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Note: Hey guys, There are twenty clients and groups that Carlisle, Billy and Serina worry about. She is going to see all twenty every week, but I am not going to write about all twenty. I am going to write about Group A one week, and Group B another week. If stuff happens like Jacob kisses Bella in a week A but she has a session in week B I will make her so upset she will bring it up again.

I was printing some worksheets when Bella walked through the door. Turning around in my chair, I saw that she had on a navy jacket, with a white tank underneath, and some jeans. It was simple, but pretty

"Hi Bella, take a seat," I said.

She plopped down on the sofa. I gathered my papers off the printer and went to sit opposite from her in my chair.

"Have you ever been in therapy before?" I asked.

"No, and I am kind of mad at Edward for signing me up for the first slot."

I smiled. "Well you can change the slot if you want."

"Its not the time that bothers me. Its just that he thinks I am crazy."

I nodded. "Hey, a lot of people who are considered normal have to talk to someone. Okay, do you know what confidentiality and what happens if I have to break it."

"Yeah."

"Sign the bottom of that page. And the next page is elder and child abuse. I don't think that will apply to you, but you still have to sign."

"Elder abuse is when you are taking advantage of someone who has dementia?"

"Yeah or something like that. God your clever. Most people have to ask."

Once everything was signed, I put the papers in Bella's file to scan later. Then I got my notebook. "I will type up notes later to make an analysis about treatments, but I like to handwrite in sessions so it feels a little less clinical, is that okay?"

"Yeah sure."

"So I have to tell you Bella, Carlisle convinced me to come take this job based on your history alone. You have done some pretty dangerous stuff, hanging out with vampires, hanging out with werewolves, jumping off cliffs, facing the Volturi and I don't think I have the full picture."

"No you don't."

"What is the full picture?"

"I figured out Edward was a vampire and we started dating. Everything was going great, except maybe Rosalie did not like me. Then I got hurt on my 18th birthday. I got a paper cut, and Jasper pounced. Edward broke up with me, and I just did not feel alive again until I met Jacob. I wanted a friend and Jake wanted a girlfriend. We hung out and it was awkward, but he would leave me alone. Then he turned into a werewolf and cut me out, and I fell into darkness again. Then I found out he was a werewolf and I could hang out with him, but I missed Edward. It was like coming off a drug. Then while Jake was off being a werewolf, I was on the cliffs, and I cliffed jump because Edward told me not to, and -"

"What do you mean Edward told you not to?"

"I would have hallucinations of Edward trying to protect me, and I had to do what he said to keep the hallucination happy."

"Bella, this is really important. What did the hallucination look like?"

"It was misty. It did not sound like Edward right, just a fake mocking tone. It was going off what my head could conjure up."

"So, did you think he had come back at any time, or did you think he was there?"

"No," she said dejectedly. "I knew he was gone. That is why it hurt so much."

"What hurt?" I asked.

"My chest," she said. "It felt like my heart had literally had been ripped out and the wind could be sucked through me. It hurt so bad, the only fix was to bring my knees into my chest." She actually brought a knee into her chest and wrapped her arms around it thinking about it.

"Who knew about this?" I asked.

"Everyone," she said. "I was to exhausted to hide it. I tried. I really did. I worked hard at school, took extra shifts at my work, and cooked good food for Charlie. I had straight A's and a lot of money, but…"

"You had no clue what was going on around you?"

"They left halfway through September. I honest to God do not remember October, November, December, or January."

"What happened in February?"

"Its a long story, but my dad threatened to send me back to my mothers. So I made friends with Jacob. I spent every afternoon and weekend at his house for about a month."

"That's great! Did you feel better?"

"Yeah. Til he phased into a werewolf, and then the hole in my chest came back again. But then I figured it out after about a week. We hung out for about a month. But sometimes he would have to go away to chase Victoria. That is when I jumped off the cliff on March 17th. It was the only way I could make Edward stay with me."

"So you were still having hallucinations?"

"Yeah."

"Then what happened?"

"Edward thought I died, so we had to race to the Volturi to save him from attempting suicide. Then we came back home."

"How do you feel now?"

"I don't want to live without Edward, please. I can't do it again," she said, looking at me pleadingly.

"Easy, Bella. I am not in the breaking up business. It seems like you keep each other off the edge. But, I do want to try something, if that is alright. I am going to put you on a small anti- depressant called Zoloft. Its an SSRI, that came out in the early 90's. It will help with the separation anxiety from Edward and might help you feel less suicidal okay. I want you to take 50 milligrams every day, and we are going to do that for a month, then bump it up to a hundred."

"What do I tell my dad?"

"Does he know where you are?"

"Yeah."

"Well, tell him that in Europe therapist take enough school to write prescriptions, and are LPA and MD's. Which is true in my case, I am a psychiatrist." I pulled out my card from my wallet. "Here take a picture from your phone."

"Oh, no, he'll be fine with that," she said. "No how do I tell everyone that crazy Bella is on medication? And that I have a diagnosis?"

"Bella, something, I am not sure what yet, happened to your brain before Edward left. When he left you get very sick, that is why you have a diagnosis. Even though he is back, you still need medicine so you are not sick again. If someone has a problem with that, they can come talk to me!"

She got up with tears in her eyes. "Thanks. I'll see you next week?"

"For the session, sure. Same time and place. But I bet we will see each other earlier than that. See ya, Bella."


	8. Chapter 8

"Wait a minute. You moved to where over the weekend?" said my mother.

I smiled as I watched my bowl of ravioli go round and round in the microwave. I didn't have time to hunt, and Carlisle and I were going out tonight, so I was eating something small in between sessions.

"It's a small town called Forks in the state of Washington," I said.

"In the United States?"

"Yes in the US. Look, I know that it was last minute, but Carlisle made a good argument to get me to come," I said, "and I already had my first session. There is a young human girl who seemed to have such bad depression it was causing hallucinations. If they are all like that, then these people need me."

"And what about me?" Mom whined.

The microwave beeped, and I put the phone on speakerphone and put it down. Then, I grabbed a pot holder and slid it under the bowl of ravioli in the microwave.

"What about you? We have not had dinner together in almost six and a half years," I argued, walking to the table and setting the food down.

"That is not true," she said indignantly. "We saw each other last weekend at Y2K in Paris!"

"Mom, its May 22, 2006," I said, deadpanned.

She was silent on the phone for a minute, "Well, it's not my fault you never call!"

I laughed, and went to go get the silverware from the drawer, grabbed a water from the fridge, and my phone from the counter. "Mom," I said, "I will call all the time, and you are welcome to come and visit. There is plenty of room at the Cullen's house, and Esme set up my house so cute and pretty. It's like a little cottage set in the seventies in the woods. You would love it. There is plenty to hunt, too."

She thought a minute. "Okay. I do miss the Carlisle and Esme, and their kids, and I would love to see you. Also, it does sound like a nice little setup, and you already have four groups and sixteen clients. That is amazing! So you really only see werewolves, vampires, and the little human girl?"

"Well, I see a couple of humans connected to the pack, but yeah, pretty much."

"Wow, Carlisle really had a whole practice set up for you. Didn't he?"

"Well these people don't really have anyone else they can go to to cope. It's not like they can go say 'I need to talk about when I turned into a vampire it was the 1900's. Wildrow Wilson was President,' and so on."

She laughed, "Yeah I guess that would get them thrown in the asylums."

I groaned. "Behavioral Health Unit, mom! You have a daughter who is a LPA, you can't call it an asylum any more."

She huffed, annoyed, "Well they change the name every century! How am I supposed to keep up?"

"Your as bad as Carlisle. He refers to PTSD as 'the one with all the letters'."

"See, it's not just me."

I laughed. Then I said, "Okay, you have an excuse. You were born back before the cure for the Bubonic plague, when they thought mental health had to do with the phlegm in your body, so I guess I'll give you a pass."

"We had a cure for the plague! I was born during the Italian Renaissance! In the 1400's not the 1300s!"

"I know. I am just messing with you, Mamma."

"Well that just mean."

I laughed, and then I sobered up thinking, "You know before Carlisle called and offered me the job, I had the dream again. About Caius."

"What happened?"

"The same thing that always happened. For some reason I keep dreaming about it."

"You need to talk to someone," she said.

"Who? I don't want to make a connection with a therapist and only tell him part of the story."

"Then try a support group. You have your laptop there, see if there is a support group close."

I got on the computer and went to google. "Support group for what? What would you even call what he did to me?"

"Either rape or domestic violence, baby."

I pulled my right leg in close and typed in "rape or DV support groups zipcode 98331".

After clicking on a few things, I found something. "Okay, here is something. Port Angeles Domestic Violence Support Group. Meetings are on Tuesdays at five until 6:30 at a First Baptist Church on 6th Street."

"Do it, baby. But, its a strange city at night. Get someone to go with you the first time."

"Yeah, I'll ask Edward." I thought for a minute. "Mom, there is another thing. I am sleeping about five hours a night, also I am consuming about 1500 calories a day, and I am feeding about five liters a week. I am scarred."

"Are you keeping anything down?"

"I am if I eat in small meals, but then I have to eat constantly."

"You need to tell Carlisle," she said.

"No, I can't. Do you know what he will think of me?!"

"Sweetheart, Carlisle knew when you were born that you were a hybrid."

"Really? He never let on that he knew anything." I thought back that Carlisle seemed bothered that I was half werewolf. He was uncomfortable that I was friends with the werewolves in LaPush but he did not do anything to stop us from hanging out. "Did he know my dad?"

"He knew of him, but he did not know him."

"Who was he? Please tell me. I'll keep it a secret."

There was silence on the phone. "Honey, I got to go. It's almost 10:00 at night here, I gotta go feed. I love you. Please go to that meeting it will be good for you. Okay, Bye." The phone went dead.

"Okay. Bye."

I hung up the phone, and sighed. "Well that was...productive," I thought.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note: This is a longish chapter because I have to get everyone's stories established. Other sessions will be shorter. Not everybody will talk in all of the sessions.

Everyone was sitting in a circle ready for the first grief session to start. Sue looked exhausted from dragging her kids here. Leah was not thrilled about being here, but her brother was perfectly content sipping on his coke from my fridge. Jacob was eyeing the vampires suspiciously, while his father was perfectly at ease. As for my two cousins Alice and Jasper, they were snuggled up on the couch. Esme was also here sitting on the love seat with Sue.

"Okay," I said coming into the room with my notebook. "A couple of housekeeping things. First, the Cullens are extending the treaty so that the Quiltite can come here for sessions, but that means here, no running around in the woods or feeding during this time. Second, this is an open group, which means that as long as there is physical room you can come. If this group gets too big, we are gonna cut it in half and I am going to do it on two days, okay? Third, this will only work if everybody is here to learn how to cope and share. If you are here to start a fight because the treaty is suspended, your banned, okay."

"What if we want to get banned?" asked Leah.

"Take that up with your mother," I said. "Other rules, only one person talks at a time, I have to report child or elder abuse, and I must act if there is any attempts to harm yourself or someone else. Okay?"

"Wait, can we hurt Victoria?" asked Seth.

"Who is...Oh the tracker's girlfriend who is trying to kill Bella. Yes. You can hurt Victoria. You know why?"

He shook his head. "We don't like her?"

I laughed, "According to US law, you are allowed to stop someone from doing harm to someone else. So Victoria is trying to kill Bella, and you have evidence of that. So it is okay to kill Victoria."

"Oh, okay."

"So let's get started. I am going to go around the room and tell me your name, how do you think you deal with grief, and how do you want to deal with it? I am not going to comment this time unless it is something really unhealthy."

"Can how we deal with it and how we want to deal with it be the same?" asked Jacob.

"Sure," I said. I looked to Sue on my left. "We are going to start with you, Miss Sue."

"I am Sue. I think I deal with grief by kind of going into shock and pretending it didn't happen, and um, I wish I could face it, but I don't know how."

"Yeah, that was great. We are just adimitting things. We are not fixing anybody." I looked over to her daughter who was sitting beside her, with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "You wanna try."

"If you don't know my name your stupid!" she said.

"Okay fair, but come on, play along."

She huffed "Fine! I'm Leah. I guess I get angry, and it pisses people off. But you know what screw 'em."

"Okay, next."

"I'm Esme," came my aunt in a quiet voice, "when I was human I had a baby, but it died of lung fever, and I committed suicide. Carlisle found me in the hospital and changed me. Now I have five children, and some nieces and nephews. I am so grateful for this new life. I don't know what you call it when I grieve, it's this hopelessness, but I am not alone."

"Great insight Esme, next."

"Okay. I am Alice. I had no memories of my past until last year. Then I found that I was placed in a mental hospital by my stepfather and changed by someone who wanted to help me escape. Before I was changed, I received electroshock treatment which made me forget my whole life. Then I was freed by someone who changed me into a vampire, and I had visions of Jasper and the Cullen family. I deal with grief by shopping and projects."

"That was great, Alice. Your turn, Seth."

"I don't know what to say," he said nervously.

"Start with your name."

"I am Seth."

"Can you think of a time when you lost something or someone close to you?"

"Yeah, last March, my dad died suddenly. My sister phased into a werewolf and it scared him so bad he had a heart attack."

Leah shifted uncomfortably beside her mother.

"How did you deal with that?"

"Turn into a werewolf, help Jacob with the pack, and play video games."

"Do you like that?"

He shrugged, "It's okay."

I nodded then locked eyes with Jasper, who was sitting by Alice. He sighed and said, "Howdy, I'm Jasper Whitlock. I was a soldier in the confederate army and I am not quite used to the whole dealing with your emotions through talking to a doctor. But, I have had to bury a whole mess of people and I have killed a whole lot of them too. I think when it comes to dealing with the fact that you live and others die, I got to live with the fact that there is some things nothing can fix. I eat to deal with that, and that usually ends up with people dead, so I work on that."

"Okay. Billy, your turn."

"Well, I am Billy Black, and I about six years, on New Year's Eve 2000, I lost the love of my life because some idiot thought it was a good idea to keep partying into seven o'clock in the morning. See Sarah loved to paint, and she wanted to go paint the sunrise on the mountains, so she woke up early, gave me a kiss while I was still sleeping, and left a note. It was a simple note "I want to paint the snow on the mountains, be back to cook breakfast. I love you." I still have it in my tackle box. I woke up to Police telling me she was dead, and they got the guy. He got involuntary manslaughter, a ten month sentence. He paroled in five months and got arrested again a year later for DUI. I have never been more angry in my life, than that first year. The only reason I did not commit murder is my kids needed me. I guess I get very angry when I grieve."

"Anger is a very natural reaction to losing someone you love." I said. "Especially when you get such an awful deal, like you did. Jacob you are the last one."

Jacob shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Okay. I'm Jacob, and I lost my mom when I was little, but I am kind of over that. I am here about something else. I know we are not trying to start a fight, and I am not trying to start a fight, but in my mind vampires are dead, and Bella wants to be a vampire, so Bella wants to die, and I don't know how to deal with that."

"That is not fair!" screeched Alice, standing out.

"Calm down," I said, placating Alice. "Jacob is not attacking Vampires. He is saying that he would view Bella turning as losing or killing her humanness, which it is. He has the right to grieve her humanity." Alice sat down. "Jacob, is there a way you can see Bella as changed, but still Bella?"

"No, she'd be gone," he whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

Authors Note: I don't think the Wiki is right about Paul because it has him and Jacob Phasing at the same time. I am riffing on Paul. I am making him the same age as Rachel because that makes sense.

About an hour after the group dispersed, at six o'clock, my doorbell rang. I got up and answered it, and saw that it was my cousin, Edward in a button up and jeans.

"Your early," I said.

"I want credit for this. Esme insist that we all participate, since you are so kind as to offer your services," he said.

"Your sweet. It's nice to be thanked, instead of being scowled at." I let him in. "Sit anywhere. Wolves and vampires will be in this group, so nowhere is safe."

He laughed, "Well thanks to Bella, I have no fear of wolves anymore, so I will take my chances," he said, sitting on the couch.

Soon, Jasper and Rosalie showed up, and joined him.

"Where are the mongrels?" asked Rosalie at 6:01. "They have no respect for our time."

The doorbell rang.

"That's them. Jasper, why don't you explain the rules of group, while I get the door," I said laughing. I got out of my chair, and opened the door. Three boys were standing there. Paul looked mad as hell, Sam looked like he had just barely won a war, and Jacob looked like he just watched a bad horror film.

"Sorry," Jacob mumbled, "Paul would not get in the car, and Sam had to alpha order him. He is required to answer all direct questions honestly."

"Is that true, Paul?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, come on in."

"Go," said Sam.

They all walked in, and Leah came up behind them acting like she was being pulled by an imaginary rope, and she was fighting it with all of her strength.

"This afternoon was not that bad," I said. "It's just an hour, and then I leave you alone, I promise."

She said nothing as she silently walked into the house.

"Come play therapist for all of the vampires and werewolves. You are not doing anything in Italy." I thought. "I am going to kill Carlisle." I shut the door and walked inside. Sitting down in my chair, I suddenly felt cold, so I grabbed a blanket and threw it over me. "Hello, it is good to see everybody again. I know I just saw people a few hours ago for grief group. It started awkward and hard, but we worked together and shared, and had a fairly good first session. I think we can do it again with adjustment group. 'Kay.

"So basically if yall remembering Carlisle called me on Wednesday of last week, and said that he and Billy were worried about you guys. They were worried about several things, but one thing that they were worried about was that several of you had struggled a lot with becoming a vampire or a werewolf, and that is what this group is about. So we will just do introductions tonight and share backgrounds. Just say your name, your age, when you turned, how the experience left you and what you want to learn in group. Jacob, can you go first?"

"Okay, I am Jake. I phased into a wolf a month after I turned 16. I knew something was going to happen because my dad acted like it was going to be some kind of weird puberty thing. Also, I am alpha by blood, so I am supposed to be responsible for everybody and I just can't do it. The worse part is, I think Bella might prefer me human, and that kills me cause I can't fix it."

"Trust me it does not bother her," said Edward. "It bothers me."

They both laughed a little bit.

"Hello, I am Edward. I was born in Chicago in the early 1900's to the Menson. My whole family caught Spanish Influenza. It killed my father, and as it was killing my mother, she begged Carlisle to turn me, and he did. I resented him for it, and I did everything to let him know it. I stalked killers and rapist, and fed on them, I attempted to take my own life several times, and only stopped because Esme begged me to, once she was turned in the 1920's. The only thing that seemed to restore my sanity was I met this crazy, enchanting creature last January 18 at 1:34 pm in microbiology class. But I don't want her to be one of us, and I intend to die with her, so I guess you could say I am having some problems adjusting."

"Great job, Edward. Next."

"Hey. I am Sam. I am twenty and I started to phase in June two years ago. I was all alone, and I had no clue what was going on. I thought I had gone insane, and I did not phase out until I fell asleep. Then I lived in fear of phasing until Old Quil shook my hand, and realized I had phased. The council told me what I was, and that I had to break up with my girlfriend to keep her safe. When others phased, I took over as Alpha because I was the oldest. Things were really bad until I met Emily. Then I imprinted on her, and I am happy when I am around her. But I can't be away from her for a long period of time, or I feel physically sick. Uh, I hate this thing and I guess Em is the only thing that makes it better."

"Okay, next."

"I am Rosealie, and I resent the idea of being told that I have not adjusted to my situation. Carlisle is out of his mind if he thinks that I still care that I died when that beast Royce did what he did to me. I don't care anymore. I took my revenge on all of them. As for being this, well, I guess it is what it is. No sense in crying over it. I am adjusted."

"Alright, next."

Paul cleared his throat. "Hey, um I phased 2004, and I was eighteen. It really sucked because I was planning on going to college and studying business. But you can't do that when you want to jump out of your skin when everything rubs you the wrong way. I am bound to the land and have to kill people who are already dead. It sucks."

"Last but not least, Jasper."

"I am Jasper. I was born in Houston, Texas and I joined the Confederate army when I was barely old enough. I made my way through the ranks to major, and was out on patrol one night when I met Maria, a beautiful vampire. She changed me, and used me to create a vampire army. My job was to train the newborns, then dispose of them when they outlived their usefulness. It was never-ending work. One time I let one of them go instead of killing him, and me and Maria staring plotting to destroy one another. But then I learned of a more civilized way to live in the north, and I left Maria. I fed on humans until I met Alice ten years later, and we met the Cullen clan. That is when I started transitioning to animal blood. Carlisle says that the transition is hard for me because I am so young and I have only been doing it for half a century. Its hard not to hate yourself when you're a monster."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Dinner with Carlisle- Hunting (5/22/2006 Monday 9:30 pm)

"I'll hope she'll be a fool- that is the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool." My heart cried for the obvious depression of Daisy Buchanan, stuck in a loveless marriage to her husband, pining for Jay Gatsby whom she cannot have. I loved this book "The Great Gatsby." I must have read it fifty times, but it was so good.

There was a quiet knock on the door. I put my bookmark in, and went to open it. There was Carlisle standing there.

"Hello Sisi," he said, "how are you?"

"Good having a quiet evening at home. Is something wrong?"

"Oh no. It just occurred to me that you have not been hunting since you got here, and I was wondering if I could take you out?"

"Oh. That would be great," I said. "I am so thirsty."

We ran side by side through the woods headed south away from humanity and towards nature where we could be who we really were. Carlisle ran slow with me through the trees. I followed the scent of a young buck a half mile east until we stumbled upon it.

"Oh my god, she is beautiful," I said.

"Yes, she and another will feed you well."

I crept quietly towards the deer, my feet finding the silent path to walk on, as to not startle her. When I almost got to her, I pounced. She tried to run, but I was faster. We wrestled to the ground and I pinned her against the forest floor. Then with a quick snap of her neck, I put her out of her misery.

"The only thing I hunt in the city are stray cats and dogs," I said to Carlisle. "It's better to eat human food there."

"That is what I suspected. For you, human food is like carbohydrates, and blood is like protein. You need both, but blood will sustain you longer."

I fed on the deer, and blood came into my mouth like tomato bisque, tasting sweet and strong. I drained the deer and wiped my mouth, then got to my feet.

"Well that was a wonderful dinner, Zio."

"What? One deer and you are done? You need two or three to get you through the next few days."

"Oh, right."

"Sisi, is there something you need to tell me?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. Aren't there some mountain lions in this region? Edward said they are good. Let's hunt them."

We started tracking for the mountain lions. About fifteen minutes into it, Carlisle picked up a scent and we followed it North for about two miles until we came across two mates. We jumped them. They put up more of a fight than the deer, but we quickly subdued them, Carlisle fed on the muscular male, while I fed on the female.

As I bit into my dinner, I noticed that this time the blood tasted different. It did not taste sweet and runny like the deer, but it was thick and almost gooey, sticking together as it went down my throat. It was difficult to feed on, and I had to work hard to drink it and then keep it down.

When we were finished with the meal, I looked over at Carlisle. "Did yours taste okay?" I asked.

"Yes. It was fine. Why? Did yours not taste okay?"

"No, it was great," I lied.

"Serina Ricci, you know better than to your uncle, and a doctor at that."

"Okay, it tasted weird. In fact, I feel like I am going to be sick."

"There could have been something wrong with the deer," said Carlisle, examining the deer. "But it does not look infected."

"It's not the deer. Its me. I told mom and I need to tell you. I am sleeping at least five hours, and eating fifteen hundred calories a day, and now it looks like I can't keep blood down."

Carlisle went over to a nearby stream and washed his hands off. Then he came over to me.

"I am going to feel your forehead, alright?"

I nodded and let him touch me.

"Your warm," he observed. "I get home from the hospital at six tomorrow, I can examine you then, unless you want to do it tonight?"

"What will you do?" I asked nervously.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Take your height, weight, oral temperature, blood pressure, listen to your heart and lungs, palpate your stomach, and draw blood, then we are done."

"Will I have to disrobe or anything?"

"No, just don't wear a thick sweater and should be able to do all I need to do. It's an exam, but not a complete physical."

"Okay. I'll do it as long as we do it like that. I can not stand to have people touch me anymore," I said shuttering.

"I know, honey. If I could find a way to kill Ciaus without getting my whole family killed, I would."

I smiled, "Edward, Emmett, and Jasper have all made the same threats over time." A thought occurred to me, and I wondered aloud, "I wonder what my father would think?"

"He'd lead the charge."

"You think?"

"Of course. Speaking as a father, the only reason I did not kill Royce King is because Rosalie wanted the honors. It is instinctual to protect our children and avenge them if they are harmed in any way."

"But he left."

"No he hid, there is a difference."

As we made our way back to the house, I imagined Carlisle going up against Caius and winning. The thought gave me some wonderful sense of revenge.


	12. Chapter 12

I had a break from clients the next day in the morning, and I decided to get started working on research and making sure I understood the werewolf psychology. I did not have any clients until twelve, and it was seven thirty in the morning. I made a simple breakfast, coffee, toast, and cereal. While I ate, I got out my laptop and searched for some bookstores. I found one I found one in Port Angeles called "Odyssey Bookshop." I figured that would be a good place to start. Getting dressed in some dark jeans, a red blouse, and some black boots, I threw on a jean jacket, and left.

The store was nice and pretty inside, and smelled like books. I walked through the stacks and headed to the mythology section. I scanned through the books about the Greeks and the Romans, and saw that they had one on the Egyptian gods, which was rare to find. I was looking and I could not see if I could find anything about our kind.

"Hi there," said someone behind me.

I turned around, annoyed that a human got the drop on me. It was a young girl, looked like she was barely sixteen. "Hello," I said back, not turning around, and still scanning for books.

"Can I help you?"

"I am looking for some books, but I am not sure what I want, but I will know it when I see it," I said, dismissing her.

"What are you looking for? We have horror, romance, thriller, sci-fi, fantasy, and others."

"I am looking for books about the supernatural, and their nature."

"Like tinkerbell," she said.

I rolled my eyes, but my back was to her so she could not see. "No, like the werewolves of London, or Dracula."

"Oh, we have Dracula in the Classics."

I turned around to face her and cocked my head. "That could be interesting, but no I need books about real vampires and werewolves," I said turning back to the shelf.

"What?"

"Well not real," I said, scanning the books. "But more realistic."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, werewolves do not phase when there is a new moon, they phase under extreme stress, and vampires, there is usually a sexual component to their feeding unless they are feeding on animals."

"What? That is crazy!"

"No, its not, it's scientific. Anyway do you have anything on myths or not?"

"I don't know. Let me go check the computer," she said, then walked off. I returned to the shelf scanning for anything useful, but coming up disappointed. Finally, she came back.

"I think I found a few things that we have. For the vampires, one is Dracula by Bram Stroker written in 1897, it is in the classic section. Another is Carmilla by Joseph Le Frau, and it was written in 1872. Another is Salem's Lot by Stephan King, written in 1975, and it is in horror. For the werewolves, there is the Book of Werewolves written in 1973, The Passion written in 1987 by Donna Boyd, and Wilderness by Dennis Danvers written in 2000."

"The only one I have not heard of is Wilderness. Is it accurate?"

She looked at me like I just asked her if pink elephants existed. "I have no idea."

I shrugged, got out my card, and handed it to her. "Ring it up."

"Okay," she said grabbing my card. "Which ones caught your eye?"

"All of them."

It was an hour back to Forks from Port Angeles. I stopped to get some coffee and a cookie at Starbucks. I got into the house and went in with my treasures. I spread them out on my kitchen table, and organized them Book of Werewolves, The Passion, and the Wilderness went on one shelf in the therapy room. I put Sam's Lot and Carmilla on my desk, and put Drakula on my nightstand by my room with The Great Gatsby. I laughed at the combination.

I pulled out my phone and went to my laptop in my therapy room. I texted Billy, "What is a good book to understand wolves that is not Hollywood?"

It was about one o clock, so I decided to make some lunch. I looked in my fridge and I got some chicken noodle soup that I could heat up in the microwave. As it cooked, I turned back to my phone.

"Ask Bella or Emily," said Billy.

"Okay," I said back.

I decided to try Bella first, but she was in class, so I texted Edward. "Are you busy?"

"I am if you call Microbiology busy. But considering that I have a doctorate in medicine, no I am not busy."

"Does Bella know of a book that explains myths and legends fairly accurate? I am doing research on you guys."

In a few seconds he texted back, "Yes, apparently she bought it when she met me and that idiot Jacob Black told her about the myths. It explains a lot."

"Does she mind if I borrow it?"

"She says you can have it. We tell her everything now, she has no use for it. But what are you researching?"

"The trauma of phasing, the innate hatred of vampires, how they grieve, what the purpose of an imprint is, and other things. I need to get into their heads if I am going to be any good."

"I see. I am banned from Bella from 6-9:30. I will bring it then."

"Why are you banned?"

"Charlie blames me for Bella's behavior when I left and he hates that we are back together."

"You can't catch a break. :("

"My life is hell :)"

"Somehow you will cope. That is all I needed, thanks. Stop texting in class!"

I put the phone down and picked up Wilderness. I was interested in seeing how the modern society looks at werewolves.


	13. Authors Note

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! No more updates until the week of January 5. See ya then!


	14. Chapter 14

Edward and I drove up to this little church at 4:48 on a Tuesday night. I had butterflies in my stomach thinking about the process of facing these women and telling them about what Caius did to me.

"Edward, how do I do this?" 

"You walk in there, tell someone your name, tell them that you're 23 and you have a masters in psychology, and you're working as a therapist in Forks. When you were young, your mom was raped by a man who she was dating, and his friend hurt you, and you're here to get help. That is the truth."'

"Okay," I said, as I got out of the car.

"Hey," said Edward. "This thing is over at 6:30, so how about we go over to Bella Italia afterwards, I'll make reservations. They have Italian and Seafood, and it's a four star restaurant."

"Okay. Its a deal," I said, then got out of the car and walked into the building. I pushed through the door, and followed the signs to the DOVE program. I was not really sure if I was in the right place, but the signs lead to a room where a group of about thirty women sitting in fold out chairs. Some were gathered around a coffee bar, which smelled okay, and some were helping themselves to some cookies and donuts to go to the coffee. Everyone seemed to be talking amongst themselves because the meeting had not started.

I took a few steps into the room, and just stopped, unsure what to do. The natural thing would be to go get a sip of coffee and grab a seat in the back. Mom wanted me to share and make friends and I was not sure if I could do that. Just then, a woman in her thirties noticed me looking awkward and hanging by the door, and came up to me.

"Hi, hon, are you here by yourself?"

"Not exactly, my mom helped me find this place, and my cousin brought me here, but he is a guy and did not want to intrude."

"Okay. You mind telling me what you are looking for?"

I took a deep breath, "When I was young, my mom was raped by her boss, and his colleague hurt me. I am having nightmares about it, and I can't stand for men to touch me, and I am a shrink, I need to have my shit together."

"Well you are already being honest with yourself. That is the most important step. Let me ask you something, do you drink or do drugs?"

"I drink occasionally, but it is not an addiction. And no I don't do drugs."

"Okay good. A lot of us turn to addictions to get over what happened, and I don't want that to happen to you. Come join us. What is your name?" she said, walking over to the group.

"Serina, my family calls me Sisi sometimes."

"That's cute. I am Anna." She lead me to a group of women sitting in a circle. "Hi, everybody. We got a newcomer to the group. This is Serina or Sisi. Serina, this is everybody."

"Hey guys," I said.

"Hi," came a chorus of girls.

"Okay, who wants to start," said Anna.

"I'll go. Hi everyone, I am Gabby, short for Gabrielle. Um, This week I had the dream three times of me being raped at gunpoint on my college campus. Thankfully, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom last Christmas what happened so I have been able to call her and tell her I am scared. My dad wants me to go on medication, but I am worried that it will affect how I do my job so there's that. I am really thankful that I finally told them because if I had to do this alone like I did the last three years, I don't think I could do it."

"That was great Gabby. We all need support in our lives," said Anna. "Next."

It was my turn. I had been facilitating groups all week, I can do this, I thought to myself. "Hi, I am Serina, my friends call me Sisi. Um I am about 23 now, but when I was 16, we were living in Italy, and my mom's boyfriend sort of pimped me out to his friend, and um, I did not get a say in it. Anyway, it was the first sexual experience I had and he was twice my age and he was sick and gross. Anyway, my mom's brother found out and he basically came and got us. So we lived in a different part of Italy for some time, and now I am working as a therapist in Forks about an hour from here west on 101. Anyway, I am having nightmares and stuff, and its classic PTSD and I need to just take pills and be done with it, but I am scarred. So, thats me."

"Thank you Serina. We have time for one more."

"Oh," said a girl. "I got some news. Um, my name is Vanessa and I came to this group about a year ago, when my husband was hitting me, and everyone told me to leave him. But, I stayed in the marriage and tried to make it work. Well about mid February, he and I went at it and my sixteen year old son Andrew got involved and John hit Andrew. The next day, I took Andrew to the ER, and I filed for divorce and it was finalized yesterday. I got the house, the cars, the stocks, everything. Andrews college is paid for. We got a restraining order placed on John, and he is going to jail for six months."

We all started clapping, and Anna got up to hug her. "I am so proud of you," said Regina. When we all calmed down, Anna said, "Anyone else want to share?"

I sat there already thankful for this band of sisters.


	15. Chapter 15

We walked into the little Italian restaurant, and I could smell the authentic smells of home. This wasn't going to be the catering of the Americanized Olive Garden. This was Italy at its finest.

"Hello," said the hostess.

"Hi, table for Cullen," said Edward.

"Right this way, sir," she said. She lead us to a place in the back where no one was around us. "The waitress would be right with you."

"Wow, if this wasn't an hour away this place would be a perfect date night for you and Bella," I said.

"Bella does not like it when I spend money on her," he said.

"Wow, if your girlfriend was normal, this would be a perfect place for a date night."

He laughed, "She says she feels obligated to return the favor, and for some reason she thinks I am not awed by her very presence."

Our waitress came up. "Hi, I am Samantha, and I will be your waitress tonight. What to drink?"

"Water for me," I said.

"Nothing for me," said Edward.

"Go ahead and bring him water," I said.

She nodded and left. Edward sighed and stared at me.

"Why did you do that?" he hissed, "I am not a hybrid."

"It's free, and it looks strange if you don't get anything," I hissed back. "Haven't you learned anything about keeping cover. Order a salad or soup too. You have more money than God, use it."

Thoroughly annoyed, he looked at the menu. Finally, he said, "Okay, I am a late teen rich kid, technically born right before 1990, what do I want?"

"Carbs and meat. Lasagne, shrimp scampi, pasta primavera, anything like that. And your throwing your money around."

"Like I am getting wine?"

"No, your a teenager, so you can't drink. Also, you are getting salads and dessert."

"Alright you pick that cause, I am not eating any of this."

"Okay, when she comes back, read my mind, and order for us."

Just then, Samantha came back. "Here are your drinks," she said, giving us both our waters. Then she pulled out her pad, "Now what can I get you?"

"We both like a salad each," said Edward. "And then I will have the veal parmesan, and she wants the ravioli. Then we might want a dessert, but we are not sure yet."

"Perfect. I will put that in."

"Thank you," I said, handing her my menu.

"Thanks," said Edward, giving her the menu. She walked away. "How was that?"

"Perfect," I said, sipping on my water. "Now when our food comes, I eat half of mine and half of yours, and then we ask for boxes. They can be my breakfast and lunch for tomorrow."

"You want pasta for breakfast?"

I shrugged.

"Just throw it all out, and I will take you out."

I sighed, "Okay."

"So how was the group?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, then took a sip of my water. "It was okay, I guess."

"Make any friends?"

"The facilitator seemed nice. Her name was Anna."

"So all of them were women who were in abusive relationships?"

"Or had been raped, yeah."

"Think it will help any?"

"Well, there was no guided discussion. We all just talked about what we were there to overcome tonight. There was one of us who finalized the divorce from her husband this past week and he got thrown in prison."

"He should be executed."

"Well this is human justice, not vampire justice," I said softly.

"Here it is," said Samantha. "Your salad and veal parmesan," she said, putting the dishes in front of Edward. "And your salad and ravioli," putting the food in front of me.

"Thank you," said Edward.

I dived into the ravioli. Oh, it was so much better than microwave ravioli. The cheese was melted on top of it, and the sauce was thick and rich. But it was the spices that made it.

"You would make a good food critic in another life," said Edward. "Or a chef."

"I'm Italian. We like food," I said.

After taking a couple more bites, it looked like I had eaten a good portion of the ravioli, without finishing it.

"Okay, switch seats with me," I said.

Without questioning my madness, Edward did what I said. In my new seat, I got started on Edward's veal, which was very good as well. The meat was nice and tender, and the spaghetti was great because who can go wrong with spaghetti.

"She is coming," said Edward.

"Switch back," I said.

We switched back and Samantha came up. "How is it?" she asked.

"Wonderful," I said.

"Very good," said Edward.

"Great," she said, and walked off.

"I told them about Caius," I said. "Not the details, just that he was kind of like a friend of my moms boyfriend, and he was way too old for me, and that I did not have a say in the matter."

"What did they say?"

"Nothing really. I mean, they were supportive. It's not really corrective or instructivel, it's more friendship."

"So did you get anything out of it?"

"Mostly that others went through the same thing and that I am not alone. I told them about my nightmares and it is a classic PTSD symptom, but they did not judge or diagnose anything like my mom does. They just sat and listened."

"Sometimes that is what you need," said Edward. "Is this your place or can Rosalie come next time?"

I took a sip of my water when he asked that. "Mhm. Rose can come. She just has to change the fact that it was in the 1930's and she killed all of them. But yes, there is room in the group, I can text Anna next week, or whenever."

Edward smiled, "Well, she may not do it, but thank you."

When Samantha came back Edward put everything on a credit card, and we got two boxes. The drive home was quiet, and Edward put on some 80's rock. I sang to "Under Pressure" by Queen and "Hotel California" by the Eagles.


	16. Chapter 16

I wore sweatpants and a t-shirt to my uncle's house for my physical. My stomach was in knots about this whole thing and I did not want to go through with this, in fact, by the time I reached the house, my hands were shaking.

"It's Carlisle, not Caius," I thought to myself as I walked towards the beautiful house. Esme was standing there when I walked in.

"Hey," I said, "I figured you would be out hunting tonight."

"Carlisle asked me to help him tonight. He figured that it would make you feel better if you had a female there," she said smiling.

"Thank you," I said.

"There is nothing to be nervous about. Carlisle said he had already walked you through everything that we are going to do. The worst of it will be drawing the blood," she said jokingly.

"Yeah," I said breathlessly as we entered the house and went into the kitchen.

Edward was there with Carlisle, talking quietly about what we were going to do. They turned when they heard me approach.

"Hello Sisi, I know you are nervous about this, but this will not take long. Edward, If you will assess the vitals, I can do the exam," Carlisle said. "We are going to draw blood afterwards, and you can leave for that."

"No, it won't bother me. I will stay," said Edward. "I want to make sure she is fine."

"Alright then. This way, my dear." They lead me down the stairs into the living room, and they had a digital scale, and a physician's height and weight scale and balance beam in the laundry room. I kicked off my sneakers and stepped up. Carlisle moved the height rod up to the top of my head.

"5 foot 8," said Edward.

Then, I stayed put and Carlisle moved the scale to determine my weight.

"127," said Edward.

"I am gaining," I said to Carlisle.

"You are still considered underweight," he said.

"I was a mal-nurished slave, and I have only been free for a half century. Give me time."

He smiled and continued with the exam. "Alright sit on the couch, I am going to take your temperature."

I did as he said and he put as digital thermometer in my mouth. We waited for a few minutes. When the thermometer beeped, he pulled it out and looked at it.

"Hm, 102.3, that is extremely high for a vampire. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I feel fine," I said. "I just threw up last night."

"No headache or stomach ache?"

"None."

"Good. Let's take your blood pressure." he said, pulling off a smaller cuff and hooking it up to the sphygmomanometer. He placed the cuff around my left arm and placed the earpieces in his ears. He squeezed the pump rapidly, and I felt the cuff tightening on my arm.

"143 over 79. Almost perfect," he said, releasing the cuff. Then he took it off my arm and gave it to Edward, who put it up.

Then he took my wrist and felt for my heartbeat. He looked at his watch as he read for my pulse. "Pulse rate is 96," he said, smiling at me. "That is good and strong. I am going to check your respiration rate, just breathe normally." Again he watched his watch and I just tried to relax. This was not too horrible. After a minute passed, he said "Fifteen, perfect."

Then he looked at me and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright."

"Nothing to scary."

"No."

"Do you trust me?"

I grinned, "Yes, Zio. I know you will not hurt me."

"Good," he said, and touched my nose with his pointer finger. He turned around to grab something. "Because now, I must ask you to lift your shirt, so I can listen to your heart beat and lungs."

I cringed, and started to feel the room spin.

"How about I hold your hand, Sisi?" said Edward, coming over to me.

I nodded and reached for Edward. He grabbed my hand and I squeezed it so hard, if we were not immortal I would break it.

"Serina, you know I would never hurt you," said Carlisle. "I am going to lift your shirt. You are going to breathe a couple times while I move the stethoscope around, and then we are done."

"Fine."

"Edward," I thought, "if I start screaming in my mind, make him stop."

"I promise," Edward said.

Carlisle pulled my shirt up, and I felt the cold air against my back. I started breathing quicker

"Serina, your fine," said Edward. "Carlisle will not hurt you."

I felt something cold on my left shoulder blade, then on my right one. It did not hurt, it just touched my body. Then it settled somewhere in the middle of my chest.

"Breathe deep for a minute," said Carlisle.

I obeyed.

"In."

The cold plate moved to my upper back.

"Out."

Then it moved to my lower back.

"Now just rest for a minute," he said. After a second, he let my shirt go. "Both your heart and lungs sound fine. Alright, lay on your back and pull your shirt up a little, I need to feel your stomach."

I moaned, but did as I was told and laid back on the couch. Carlisle gently pulled my shirt up, and lightly touched my stomach. I screamed bloody murder. Carlisle backed away slowly. In a heartbeat, Esme flew down stairs from the kitchen, Alice and Jasper came in from the woods where they were hunting, and Emmett and Rose came from the garage.

"It's alright," I said. "There is no real danger. Carlisle is examining me and when he touched me, I panicked."

"Why?" asked Emmett.

"Because for some reason, my mind thinks he is going to touch me the way Ciaus did."

They all went silent. Then Roselie came and sat with me on the couch. She put her arm around me and said, "Part of being in a clan, or having a family is realizing that you will never be around men like that again."

"Serina, are you actually scared of me?" asked Carlisle.

"No, of course not," I said. "But, I can not stand to be touched by any man. Mom wants me to work on it."

"Is the exam finished?" asked Edward.

"No, I need to check her stomach, which was the point of the exam, and I need to draw blood," said Carlisle.

"Maybe I can help," said Jasper. "If you will let me Serina, I can give you the emotion of happiness while he finishes the exam."

"Its worth a shot," I said. "Can you handle the blood?"

"I can take him," said Emmett.

Jasper sat by me and held my hand. "What do you want to feel?"

"Brave and happy," I said.

Slowly I felt like I was able to overcome anything, and that nothing could hurt me, also I felt light and airy. I felt myself smile as Carlisle felt my stomach and listened to it with a stethoscope.

"Keep it up, Jasper," Carlisle said, wiping off my arm and jabbing a needle in it.

As soon as the blood filled the vial, everyone stopped. Carlisle's eyes widened.

"What?" I asked.

"Sisi," said Edward, "I know who your father is. Or at least what your father is."

"What are you talking about?"

"You aren't half human, you're half werewolf."

Carlisle finished the draw and put a cotton swab on it.

"What?" 

"Your father must have been a werewolf," said Edward.

"How is that possible?" I asked.

"I don't know," said Carlisle, "but you are in transition. You will phase soon."


	17. Chapter 17

Esme Cullen

My next session was my aunt Esme. She was on time and came to my cottage wearing a light purple dress and a matching shoes and purse.

"Hi Aunt Esme, you look pretty today."

"Thank you, hon. I was just showing a gorgeous house in Sappho that I restored. It was a great plantation style from the 1800's. The couple placed an offer."

"That is amazing," I said, leading the way to the therapy room. "Sit anywhere you like."

She sat on the couch, crossing her legs. I got into my chair and grabbed my notebook.

"So where do you want to start?"

"Well, there is no really good place."

"Okay. Carlisle is worried about you because you tried to commit suicide, and he had to bite you as the only way to save you. Do you want to tell me about that?"

"Does Carlisle think I am suicidal now?"

"Are you?"

"No. I am not. I have my children and my family. I love living for them."

"Do you ever consider suicide?"

"I did once, three months ago."

"Tell me what happened."

"Oh, it was a misunderstanding. In September of last year, Edward wanted to leave Bella for her safety, so we did. It was so hard breaking off all contact with her, and it felt like I lost a child. I felt really depressed, but I did not get suicidal. Carlisle had me, and reminded me that the alternative was her becoming one of us, so this was better for Bella, so I survived. But, then six months later in March, Alice told us she saw a vision of Bella committing suicide, and she was going to Forks to check. I cried and fed, and Carlisle did not let me out of his sight, but still did not get suicidal. Then, Rosalie told Edward, and Edward went to the Voluturi to commit suicide. Alice called us and told us that Bella was alive, but Edward was not picking up his phone, so they were taking Bella to the Volturi. It was possible that they would all be killed. That is when I was ready to die. I begged Carlisle to let us go help, but Carlisle said if we went we would just complicate things. That is when Carlisle and I talked about Bella and Edward and we realized that if we lose one, we will lose the other, so we needed to make Bella immortal. It was wrong and selfish, but I could not stand losing another child. Then they all came back, safe and sound, and Bella and Edward were together. Finally, my family was whole and I could breathe again."

"That is a lot to go through. I am so sorry that happened to you."

Esme nodded, and I could tell that if she were human she would be crying.

"Alright, we cannot control Edward and Bella outside of trying to get them to go to therapy, which you and Carlisle are doing, but we can control your reactions, so their suicidal ideation does not trigger you and bring up painful memories. How does that sound?"

"Am I being a bad mother? Like saying I do not care?"

"Oh no, of course not. You are creating a boundary. You are saying I am going to let this affect me to this point, and then I am going to cut it off, so it does not get me sick. I have to do it as a therapist, so clients do not ruin my life. Creating a boundary does not make you a bad person, it will make you a better mom."

"Okay. I'll try it. What do I do?"

"You sit down with Edward and Bella, and tell them that you love them, and you cannot lose them, and they can't threaten to run off and kill themselves because it will make you crazy."

"Okay."

"Now, this will not magically make Edward and Bella magically un-suicidal, so what do you want them to do when they feel this way?"

"Oh," she thought a minute, "Well obviously, talk to you, and tell me and Carlisle anything."

"Okay, good, that's great," I said. "Now, if Edward says, hey I want to die, and I need to talk to Sisi, you can't get mad."

"No, of course not. I am not mad at all. I am just terrified that I am going to lose them, and be all alone again."

"Well, tell them that too. Now, how can Carlisle help you?"

"Do what he has been doing. Just be there and help me feel better. He was so helpful when I thought we were going to lose Edward. He was my rock."

"Tell him that," I said. "When someone is trying to support someone, especially if it's something like anxiety and depression, they don't really know what they are doing. Feedback is crucial. Telling him what helped, even if it's something little, will help him feel confident that he can take care of you, which is what he really needs to hear as a patriarch."

"Okay, I will."

"Now what are some ways that you can make yourself feel better if Edward or Bella get in a bad place?"

"You mean like paint, read, restore houses?"

"Yes. Exactly these are called coping skills. So if Edward or Bella or anything really triggers you to the point of wanting to harm yourself, you say to Carlisle, I can't deal with this right now, give me a half hour and let me work on something, then we can talk."

"I can do that?"

"You can't help Edward or Bella if it sends you off the deep end too. When it comes to health, you have to put yourself first, then you help everyone else."

"And that is not being a bad mother?"

"No, talk to Edward and Bella about this. I am sure they will tell you that they are fine with it. You are not leaving them alone, they have the whole family behind them. You are just making sure you are not traumatized by what they go through. They will understand."

"Okay. I will tell them."


	18. Chapter 18

Seth, Brady, and Collin learn how to Spar a vampire with oversight of Jacob and Sam

My phone rang at about 5:30, just when I was getting ready to go hunting. I looked at it and did not recognize the number, but I answered it anyway.

"Hello,"

"Serina, this is Seth,"

"Hi, Seth is something wrong?"

"No. We were running patrol, and I asked Sam if you could teach us to fight vampires, you know for practice, and he said yes. So I was wondering if we could do that now," he said breathlessly.

"Okay, Yeah I am done the day." I said, laughing at his rushed tone. "Where would I meet you guys?" I asked.

"Um, there is a clearing close to the border, but on the Cullen's side. Sam said we could meet you there."

"Okay. I will meet y'all there in fifteen minutes."

We hung up, and I got ready to go. Just then my phone rang again, and I saw it was Alice.

"Hey girl, what's up?"

"What's up?" she said distressed. "You just disappeared from my vision, you tell me."

"I am fine. I am headed to a clearing to meet up with some of the wolf pups for a sparring lesson."

"What?!" she hissed.

"Yeah, Seth called and asked if I could teach some of the younger ones a thing about killing vampires because they never got a chance to-"

"This is unacceptable. You are not going around their kind unescorted. It could be a trap!"

I rolled my eyes. "Then you and Jas come with me."

"And do what?"

"I don't know. Help, supervise, _escort."_

She sighed, "Okay. If you are determined to teach the mongrels, then we will be there." She hung up the phone with an irritated sigh.

I grabbed my jacket, and went out the door thinking, "I am so glad everyone is getting along."

When Alice, Jasper, and I got to the clearing, there were five wolves there. They smaller ones were all trying to tackle each other and spar, but they came to attention when the older black wolf spot us and growled. The brown wolf disappeared behind the trees and came back as Jacob Black, wearing cut off jeans. For some reason, my heart skipped a beat when I saw him shirtless, but I attributed it to my body in transition from vampire to werewolf.

"Thanks for coming," Jacob said. "Seth was begging to let us do this."

"No problem," I said.

"Why did you bring the others?"

"Because you are a pack of dogs, and we are not going to let you hurt her," said Alice.

"Hurt her? Why would I hurt her?" he said almost offended.

There was no good answer to that, and this situation was going to escalate. "They have never seen werewolves fight before, I told them it was fascinating, and they had to see it."

"Oh, when have you seen wolves fight?"

"Your ancestors fought during the formation of the treaty. I came here to help negotiate. It took a month. I hung out with the pack and the clan during that time, and I learned a lot."

"Wow, no wonder my dad trusts you."

We locked eyes for a minute and it felt like we were peering into each others soul. Then I shook my head and broke contact, he was a client for Christ sake! We are here to help the younger boys.

"Alright," I said, "Seth, Collin, why don't you begin."

Seth and Collin circled each other, seizing each other up. Seth had the size, because he had phased earlier and had a longer time to grow, but Collin was only half an inch shorter than him. Both of them were black line and had good instincts of survival and fighting, but neither of them knew what they were doing. The one thing Seth had on Collin is that Seth did not see being a wolf as a bad thing, and he embraced his nature.

By the time I have observed these things, none of the boys have touched each other. I cocked my head to the side, and sighed. The younger ones were too scared of their nature to spar.

"I won't let anything happen to either of you," I whispered, knowing their animalistic capabilities of hearing would pick it up, "Sam and I will stop you if it gets too rough."

With my reassurance, Collin attacked Seth's muzzle, but Seth easily jumped out of the way and went up on his hind legs to bat Collin away. Then they locked onto each other and started snapping at each others faces. In the scuffle, Seth lost his balance and fell down to the side, bringing Collin with him. They rolled, kicking at each other with their hind legs and snapping at each other with their jaws. Then Seth used his weight to force Collin onto his back, pinning him to the ground. Seth howled in victory as Collin tried to struggle free.

"Very good Seth," I said. "Now, let your brother up."

Seth got off of Collin. "Okay, Seth used a lot of his weight and size against Collin to get the advantage. There are ways to get the advantage over a stronger and bigger opponent, by working on being leaner and faster. I will teach you how to do that Collin. You start by not going for the obvious kill, but being clever okay. That happened once, you got him to lose his balance and you almost had the advantage. That was good."

He nodded.

"You did really good," I praised. Collin puffed out his chest and walked back to where Jacob was standing. I looked at Sam and shook my head, and he let his head drop in an exhausted expression.

"Alright Brady, your turn against Jacob."

Brady came down to the little area, looking like he was about to face a giant, which he was. Jacob was over six and a half feet tall as a human, and his wolf nearly that long. He was large and muscular with a russet fur, and black coal eyes. He was one of the pack strongest fighters and I could understand Brady's fear.

Brady pounced against Jacob and the fight began.


	19. Chapter 19

The next day at ten o'clock in the morning, Alice and Jasper showed up for Jasper's therapy session. Jasper had on a blue button down shirt and some dark wash jeans, and Alice had on a grey dress with some black leggings and a black sweater.

"Hey guys, how are y'all doing?"

"Alright," said Jasper, as they both came in.

"Alice, is it okay if I talk to Jasper by himself?" I asked.

"Ugh," she sighed, but she kissed him briefly on the lips, then walked out the door.

"Thank you," Jasper said, sitting down on the couch, "she knows everything, but it would be hard to admit the things I have done, with her next to me. I know she loves me unconditionally, but…"

"You don't want her to picture you like that."

"Yeah."

"I get it. Well, you have been to group, nothing leaves this room unless it is abuse or wanting to injure someone or yourself. I can't help things like Alice's vision or Edward's mind reading, though."

"They were very respectful of Esme."

"Good. Okay let's get started. What do you want to talk about?"

"Why is it so hard for me?"

"You mean resisting human blood?"

"The others are so good at it."

"Are they? If they were Edward would have sent you away and kept the rest of them here around Bella. He thought all of you were a danger to Bella."

"But I attacked her."

"How long have you resisted human blood?"

"Me? Since 1948. Why?"

"Carlisle has been resisting since 1720, Alice since 1920, Esme since 1921, Edward since 1931, Rosalie since 1933, Emmett since 1935. Not only that, but Carlisle found them all almost immediately and taught another way of life. You are a very different story. You fed on humans from 1863 to 1948, and then you just stopped. You can't do a drug for eighty-five years and then stop and not expect there to be consequences. You have not even been resisting human blood as long as you were feeding on it. Its okay to be bad at it."

"Really?"

"Hey, I was turned in 1940, and lived in the Volturi of all places. If Carlisle had not freed me and my mom that night, I would be in the same boat as you."

"How can I resist?"

"The first thing to do is to manage your self talk when you are around humans and want to feed." 

"Self-talk, what's that?"

"It is what you think about yourself and to yourself. Like instead of thinking, hey I want to feed because I have no control because I am a monster, which gets you in a bad place and gets you worse, you think okay, I am thirsty, but I have been thirsty before and nothing bad has happened, so I can do this. That puts you in a place of confidence."

"I say that in my head?"

"Yes."

"Edward will judge me."

"Tell him I said to do it, and it is none of his business."

Jasper laughed.

"Another thing to do is to reach out to people like your family and Bella, and tell them that you do not feel well that moment. Maybe they can get you out of the situation, maybe they can't, but at least they can know what you are going through."

"Edward can read my thoughts, and Alice is like my rock. They are all really supportive."

"You have that base, so use it." He nodded. I thought for a minute about something else. "There is something else that helps, but it is difficult, so I want you to do it in small doses."

"What?"

"Form a relationship with people that you are around, like Bella, her father, and friends at school. That way when you want to feed, there is a relationship to fall back on."

He shifted uncomfortably on the couch, and ran his fingers through his golden locks. "I don't think I can do that. It is to risky."

"I am not suggesting a bosom friendship that you get discovered as a vampire," I said laughing, "but small relationships. Like when you get fixated on someone, ask them their name, where they're from, what are they did that weekend. Soon you will see that this person has a life and dreams and a future, and you don't want to feed off of them, and you will fight the craving."

"Oh," he said, "never done that before."

"My mom and I do it all the time."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How do I get over being a horrible being? I mean I have done some unspeakable things. Everyone is so pure, even Edward only hunted murderers. I am a demon."

"Jasper, hon, I grew up in Volturi. I met demons. I served demons. They fed on hundreds at a time, kill for pleasure, and use their abilities to rule by fear. Aro would not be in therapy because resisting blood is hard. He has fake tours at six o'clock Central European Standard Time to feed on a hundred tourists a day. That's a demon. You are a casualty of war, and when Carlisle taught you a tough hard way to live that involved sacrifice and courage, you took it. You are a soldier, Jasper."

"That is what everyone is telling me."

"Maybe you should listen to us."

"Wait. Could Bella be the person that I try the whole becoming friends with?"

"I don't see why not. She is a human, and you are already spending time with her."

"I don't know a lot about her childhood, what she and Edward talk about when they're alone, or why she made friends with the wolves of all things."

"All wonderful things to ask her and I am sure she would be glad to tell you. How about we stop here, and that is your homework for next week, talk to Bella."

"Alright."


	20. Chapter 20

I had an hour break, and then the doorbell rang again. This time it was Rosalie Hale, all done up in a black dress and a grey jacket, and black heels. She came in and sat down on the couch wordlessly.

"Good afternoon Rose. You look pretty today," I said.

"Let's get this over with," she said hastily.

"Okay," I said, walking over to my chair, and sitting down. Then, I grabbed my notebook and turned to a new page. "So is there something you would like to talk about?"

"No, nothing," she said.

"Okay, how about we start with a deep breath and relax." I saw her breathe a little, but she was still tense. "Carlisle told me that you had such a traumatizing death, and that being a vampire is very difficult for you emotionally. Do you agree with that?"

"I killed the men who killed me, and I am fine with what I am."

"Okay, taking revenge is good, but it can leave us empty if we put all of our hope in it, and you say you are fine with what you are, but you did not even name it."

"I'm fine."

"Rose, what happens if you are not fine? If you are hurting and talk to me, or Emmett, or Carlisle, or Edward? What is the worst that could happen?"

"The others could see me as weak, which I am not."

"If Carlisle said he could not go into work because he had not hunt in two weeks, and he thought he would kill someone, would you call him weak?"

She looked at me, confused, "No, he is being responsible."

"Right, because there is a difference between admitting you have limitations, and being weak."

"So if I talk, I am admitting I have limitations, and we work on how to work around them?"

"That's the job."

"I suppose I can do that," she said. She sat for a minute, then she finally said, "You are going to think I am a horrible person."

"I highly doubt that."

"Oh, but I am. We are getting a new sister, Bella. Alice is all excited to have a new barbie doll, Jasper is thrilled that he will stop craving her, and soon he will have a newborn to train, Emmet is ecstatic to have an unbreakable playmate, Carlisle and Esme are so glad that Edward will be happy and in love, only Edward and me are mad. Edward is mad that she is throwing her life away on him, but I could not care about that. I am mad… I am mad… that the little bitch has a choice."

"What do you mean?"

"None of us had any say in whether or not Carlisle or another turned us. All of us were on our deathbeds, except for Alice and Jasper. Alice was so out of it from the visions, and Maria turned Jasper for a war. But, none of us had a vampire give us so much information about their lives, and then asked if we want to join the club. Bella has all of that, and she wants to be a vampire for some sick reason. She doesn't want a husband, a house, kids, grandkids. She wants this hellhole and no one can talk her out of it."

"That is very frustrating," I said, then I thought for a minute, weighing if what I was about to say was going to be helpful, "but can I tell you something? This is not to say there is a right or wrong in if Bella should be a vampire, but I am just telling you this so you can understand her choice. I am working with Bella on keeping her human, but I am saying this to you now to develop empathy.

"I grew up human in a world filled with vampires, and I did not have the Cullen clan to protect me. I knew what they were, what they did, and that it was painful, and that made me desperate to fight back. The only way to fight against a vampire is to become a huntress, which is very difficult, and you have a very short life span, or become a vampire yourself, which is what my mother chose for me to do. Now the process with Ciaus was awful, it would have been better if Aro bit me, but the end result was that I was a powerful vampire that no one could hurt. My first mission, in 1940, as a newborn was the most breathtaking mission I had as an assassin. I never felt so much power. That could be what Bella is after. The glory that comes with being a vampire, it is what I was after."

Rosealie sat back and took that in. "The slut is power hungry?" she finally asked.

I started to laugh, "It is possible that she feels so powerless as a human that she sees vampirism as the only option."

"Well, what are we going to do about that?"

"What are some ways that we can make her feel powerful without causing her to turn?"

"I suppose I could stop making her feel like she is the scum of the earth for dating my brother."

I nodded, "You could do that."

Rose sighed. "I suppose I could explain to her why I would stay human and say that she is not a burden to have around."

"That is a great thought to say to Bella. How about we stop here for this week, and your assignment is to talk to Bella and tell her that that?"

"Fine."


	21. Chapter 21

EMDR With Alice at 2

An hour after Rosealie left, her sister appeared at my door for her scheduled session. Alice came in wearing black jeans, a black sleeveless top, a gray choker, and some black six-inch heels.

"Hey, cuz, you look good."

"Thanks, I see that you are wearing that Calvin Kline dress we bought Sunday. It looks great on you too."

I smiled at the compliment as we walked into the therapy room and sat down.

"I like your place," said Alice. "This is the first time I have been here."

"Yeah, your mom is amazing," I said. "So, is there something that you want to talk about?"

"Well, I was perfectly fine, no problems at all until September of last year, then Jasper tried to kill Bella and Edward insisted that we all leave for Bella's safety. I tried to protest, but Edward was adamant. Jasper and I started to trace my life and see who I was. I realized that I had visions all of my life, and I had a vision that my father killed my mother. I tried to tell people, and I ended up telling the sheriff, and they placed me in an asylum, around 1918. There was a vampire who lived at the asylum and fed of the inmates. He did not feed on me because he liked me. The doctors gave me electroshock treatment which erased all my memory. Then James, another vampire, who also tried to kill Bella, attacked us. The nice vampire bit me, and let me escape, but James killed him. I followed my visions to the Cullens, then to Jasper."

"That sounds like a genuinely horrible story, but you persisted Alice. I am glad that you are able to find happiness. By last September, you mean when Bella and Edward broke up?"

"Yeah. I don't know why that was so hard. I watched her constantly, and I saw her. She got sick, Sisi. She lost weight, became pale, then she disappeared for days, and I realize now she was hanging with mutts, which is not comforting. Edward kept saying, 'she is human, she will get over us, its worse for us than it is on her,' but it wasn't. She was suicidal. I should have stayed. Should have fought him."

"Alice, you were respecting your brother's wishes and trying to keep Bella safe. Your vision is not perfect. Look at what had just happened, she had gotten hurt because of an accident, and being around vampires had made it worse. It was a split second decision to keep second decision. Was it perfect? No. But those hardly ever are. You can't blame yourself."

"We should have done it in stages. Like some of us go, and some of us stay. That way she would not have gotten so sick."

"Did y'all consider that?"

"Yes. Edward was adamant that we could all kill her, and we were all a threat."

"He had a point."

"But now look at her, having panic attacks, not sleeping, not eating, running with wolves. I mean, she is hardly healthy and safe."

"No she is not safe, but how were y'all to know that?"

"I should have seen it."

"How? Edward was adamant. It was a split second decision. Did they give you time to look into the future and consider if it was beneficial for Bella?"

"No."

"And Sam was the one who found her in the woods, so she was around the wolves from day one off and on, so how would your vision be accurate?"

"I just love her so much, and I missed her so much, and the idea that we hurt Bella that much makes me so depressed."

"I know, but focus on what you can do about it, not what you cannot do about it. You can not go back in time and make Edward not leave Bella, but there are things that you can do now."

"Like what?"

"Well for one, support Jasper in fostering a relationship with Bella so it lessons the desire to feed on her. Also, stay in contact with Bella and do things together like go to bookstores, go hiking at a human pace, if you can handle it, and other things like that. Finally, support Edwards and Bella's relationship in any way you can, and make Bella feel like your second sister."

"Can I take her shopping?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Does Bella like shopping?"

"No." She thought for a minute. "Ha! I have it. I'll tell Charlie Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper went camping, he thinks Emmetts in college, and we can have a sleepover at my house. Esme can cook spaghetti, and we can stay up and watch a movie, Bella likes horror, and then we plan for when we bite her. I can tell all sorts of vampire laws and tell her what to expect, she will love that."

"Yes, but you can not dangle a carrot and take it away," I cautioned. "Edward does not want us to bite her, and there is a whole wolf pack on the other side of the river that is against it too."

"Bah, I can handle Edward. And the treaty will be null and void when we move away, anyway. We are probably going to go Tanana, Alaska. There is very little sunlight there, and wonderful game there. There is only 300 people in town, and we don't talk to anyone. We can hunt and be by ourselves. Jasper will love it. It will be wonderful."

"Sounds like a plan," I said. I looked at the clock, and it said 2:48. "Is this a good place to stop?"

"Yeah." We hugged, and she kissed me on the cheek before walking out.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

It was five o'clock, end of the work day, and I was about to pick up_ The Great Gatsby _and relive the roaring twenties, when my phone rang. It was an unknown number and I picked it up thinking it might be one of the girls from the group.

"Hello," I said.

"Hi, Serina, it's Sam Uley."

"Oh, hi how are you?"

"Been better. Um, as werewolves we find our soul mates through this thing called imprinting."

"Yes, Billy told me what that was."

"Oh, okay good. Well, anyway our imprints have all organized or something, and they all want to meet you, tonight at Emily's place."

"Ha, I see. I'll be there in twenty minutes. What's Emily's address?"

I drove my motorcycle up to a cute house out in the woods of La Push. I blew the horn, and cut the engine, then got off the bike. Seth, Collin, and Brady ran out of the house.

"Are we gonna spar?" asked Collin excitedly.

"Actually, Emily wants to hang out, but we can spar later," I promised, getting off my bike.

Sam came out of the house, followed by a girl with some scars, Emily, I remembered.

"Hi," I said.

"The Cullens let you come alone this time?" asked Sam.

"I kinda, snuck out. Split second decisions, Alice can't see. I'm bound to get a hundred texts from them in a minute."

Sure enough I looked at my phone. "Where are you?" texted Alice.

"I'm with the pack. We're fine," I texted back.

"So your a Cullen?" Emily asked.

"I am a Ricci. Carlisle and my mom are such good friends, we consider him my uncle."

"Well, I am the imprint of the Alpha, so I am the mom of this pack. I don't want anything to hurt them," she said, like she was going to fight me.

I almost laughed at the thought of being challenged by this human. "I have no intention of hurting them. I am a true friend of Billy and Ephraim Black and I am honoring this friendship."

"What about Bella?"

"What about her?"

"She wants to be one of them. Where do you stand?"

"Can I be honest without you ripping my head off?"

She nodded.

"Carlisle has given me the cliff notes of what has happened to Bella. She is not safe as a human in this world. Edward can't keep her safe from everybody, but there are alternatives to turning her."

"Which is?"

"I am working on it, and I am asking you to trust me."

Just then, Jared and Paul came out, with a girl walking between them. Paul looked at me and then bared his teeth, and started to shake.

"Easy Paul," said Sam. "Em, wants to check her out."

One of the girls slowly walked up to me, with her arm extended like she was going to pet a stray dog.

"Kim, what are you doing?" asked Paul.

"Kim, get back here now!" yelled Jared.

I grabbed Kim's hand, and shook it. "Hi Kim," I said. "Nice to meet you."

She took her hand back, and looked back at the wolves like she was scared that I was going to hurt her. Jared ran up to us and wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her away from me.

"Kim, what the hell?" he asked.

"I never met one before," she answered. "Billy's right, she's gorgeous."

I felt heat rise in my cheeks at the compliment. "So, Billy called me pretty, huh?" I asked.

"Well, he said all vampires were beautiful, but yes, he said that you were very pretty."

"It's the venom," I said. "It makes us appear like we are at our best. Don't ask me why."

Just then, the door opened, and a small child came running out being chased by the Atera boy, Quil I think.

"Claire, where are you going?" asked Quil.

Claire stopped and looked at us, eyes narrowed on me. "Angel," she said, stumbling over to me. When she reached my feet, she stretched upwards. "Up!" she cried.

I looked to Quil questionaly, then bent down and picked up the child. She ran her hands all over my face, apparently fascinated with how cold it was. Gently, she pulled on my black hair, and stared at me. I smiled at her, and decided to try something. I blinked my eyes, and they turned blood red. She did not like that, and started to cry. But then I blinked again, and they were dark violet. She stopped crying and looked at them mesmerized. Then I blinked one more time, and they were my birth color, hazel.

Claire laughed and clapped, "Again."

I laughed, and went though all of the colors again. This time she laughed, even during the red eyes.

When I was done, she said, "Again."

But instead, I asked "Quil?", knowing we could do this game all day.

"Quil!" She shifted in my arms and started to reach for him.

"I'm coming, Claire-bear," said Quil, and he came and got her from me, looking almost grateful that his precious child is away from the vampire.

"How did you do that?" asked Emily.

"A lot of the vampires have multiple color eyes when they turn from drinking on humans to drinking on animals. My cousins, the Cullens all have golden eyes. I have the ability to change my eye color. I have always had that ability, and I guess it is because I am a hybrid."

"Your a hybrid?" asked Sam, walking over to her.

"Yes, somehow, in the 1920's my mom got pregnant by a werewolf and gave birth to me. I am begging Carlisle to tell me the story, but he won't."

"Maybe Billy can get him to do it," said Emily. "I want to thank you for what you are doing for the pack. I know that you have not talked to everyone, but you will. They have seen a lot, and it's obvious I can't help them."

"You help them more than you know," I said.

She smiled, and wrapped an arm around Sam.

Just then, a car pulled up, and a girl who looked an awful lot like Sarah Black came out, hauling two big boxes of cokes.

"Someone want to give me a hand with these?" said a girl who looked so much like Sarah Black, she had to be her daughter Rachel.

I flew over there, and grabbed them both with my vampire strength. "These go in the kitchen?" I asked.

"Yeah. You don't have to do that. We have nine boys here," she said, glaring at them.

"It's fine. I'm a vampire. These are nothing."

I took them in the kitchen and laid them on the counter.

"Wait, your a vampire?"

"Well, a hybrid. I am treating the pack and the clan. Carlisle brought me here from Italy about a week ago."

"Oh, yeah. So do you like want to kill us?" she asked.

"Werewolves, no, I grew up around them and they do not bother me. Humans, are different. I am fine with blood. The whole being part wolf knocks out the urges to feed and crap like that. But, they are still confusing to me. That is why I studied psychology. I really don't understand your kind."

"Well, if you need a tutor, we are all here."

"Thanks. I do not go to school like the other Cullens, and Bella is obsessed with Edward. It would be nice to hang out."

"I'll talk to Billy," said Sam, helping me put the boxes of food in the fridge. "You are one of us. Carlisle called me yesterday morning to tell me you were a hybrid. You need to be around both kinds. You should come to the council meetings too."

"Will my presence make someone phase?"

"We talked about that. Since your technically one of us, you're not a threat to the land. No, no one should phase."

"I am not Quiltite. I don't know what pack I am from. Carlisle is still doing research."

"Can he figure it out?" asked Emily.

"Not without my mom's help."

"Why won't she help?" asked Rachel.

"I don't know. She won't tell anyone who my dad was. Edward does not even know."

"How is that possible?" asked Paul, finally piping up.

"I don't know."


	23. Chapter 23

_Thoughts _

It was exactly 12:00 noon, and I heard footsteps on my front porch. Knowing my next client was going to knock or ring my doorbell, I thought "_It's not the twentieth century anymore, cousin. Come on in."_

"I was trying to be polite," said Edward, in a low voice, walking in through the door.

"_Always a gentleman. Follow me." _I walked into the therapy room, and sat in my chair. "_Sit whatever's comfortable."_

"Thank you. I try not to pry into my family members' minds, but all of them seem to feel better just talking to you. You seem to be doing a wonderful job." Sitting in one of the plush EMDR chairs.

"_Thank you, so what is on your mind?"_

"I don't really know why I am here. Carlisle is insisting that I come talk to you. Really as long as Bella is happy, I am happy."

"_And is Bella happy?"_

"No. She is eager to become one of us."

"_Have you asked her for her reasoning?"_

"She feels like a burden as a human, and says she is a better use as a vampire. Which is ridiculous."

"_Look at this from her perspective. The girl has been attacked many times, and many people have come to her aid. If someone got injured or worse killed in the process, do you think she could live with the guilt?"_

"The answer is not to turn her, the answer is to remove her from the situation."

"_I gather you tried that. How did that work?"_

"We all dispersed, and kept in contact by phone. Carlisle and Esme went to Ithaca, New York, where Carlisle taught at Cornell University and Esme restored houses. Alice and Jasper went with them and enrolled at the university. Emmett and Rose went gallivanting off on a second or third honeymoon. I went South trying to get my mind off of Bella. It was horrible. Every woman was her, or so not her it made me ache for her. I would call it off so many times in my head that I almost came to Forks to check on her. I did call her once when Alice had a vision of her committing suicide. That mutt Jacob picked up the phone and said that Charlie was at a funeral. I thought she was dead, and I was ready to die too. So I went to the Volturi, staged a scene, and what do you know, Bella showed up alive a well, even willing to take me back. I didn't question it."

"_If you were miserable without her, why didn't you restore the relationship?"_

"I was convinced she would die living with my kind. Images of Jasper and I attacking her were running through my head every time I picked up the phone, just to check on her. I couldn't be that selfish."

"_So you are being selfish by being with Bella, is it possible that she is getting something out of this?"_

"She is sexually attractive to me because of vampirism, she loves me for my old-fashioned manners, also my vampirism, she enjoys the folklore I tell her, which I get from vampirism."

"_Your good-looking, have manners, and tell good stories, Edward that is not a boyfriend, that is well-preserved grandfather."_

He threw his hands up. "Fine, I have no idea why Bella wants to be with me?"

"_Why?"_

"Because I am unlovable," he said, coming out a human sob. "I've killed people."

"_Tell me about them."_

"Why? You already know?"

"_Indulge me."_

"Well I was turned in 1918, and I was so angry at Carlisle, I left in 1927 right after he turned Esme. I was so angry that I could not age, could not die, that I decided to be the worse that I could be. It only lasted for five years. I would live my life and find psychopath and murders and feed on them. I killed once or twice a month. In 1933, I looked at myself and saw a demon, and thought, at least Carlisle can live with himself. So I went back to them."

"_Was it hard going off human blood?"_

"Yes, but Carlisle and Esme helped me. They were very forgiving. More than I deserved."

"_You ever read the Bible?"_

He looked at me oddly, "Parts of it. I have had the do not kill lecture from Carlisle."

_I laughed. "No, I meant the prodigal son. This boy asked for his inheritance before his dad died, which is a real slap in the face, then he goes and spends it all. He ends up getting a job as a pig farmer, and decides that working for his father would be better. So he quits and leaves. So he is walking to his old house, and his dad sees him, and runs after him. He dresses him in fine linen, puts a ring on his finger, throws a big party for him, and welcomes him home. That is what Carlisle and Esme did for you. You thought they were done with you, but they were ready to welcome you home, because you are their son."_

"You think Esme and Carlisle love me and they put up with my antics because of that?"

"_Yes. And Bella might be the same way."_

"But look at all I have done."

"_Love keeps no records of wrongs."_

He looked at me inquisitively.

"_That's Corinthians 13. My mom had me learn my scripture when I was nine. Listen, people have forgiven you for what you have done. It is time that you forgive yourself."_

"So why is Bella with me?"

"_You read people's minds. Why do women want you?"_

"Well, I am supposedly attractive, very nice, clever, close to my family, well off, a gentleman."

"_Good. Now why does your family care about you?"_

"I Esme loves that I am artistic, Emmett loves that I have a dry sense of humor, Jasper loves that I am loyal to a fault, Rose loves that I am respectful of women, Alice thinks I am fun, and Carlisle thinks I have a good heart."

"_Is it possible Bella sees all that in you as well?"_

"Yes."

"_So Bella might be crazy for wanting to be a vampire, but she is not crazy for being in love with you."_

"I suppose."

"_Can we stop here. We have established that you are loveable and not a monster?"_

"Yes. Thank you, Sisi. This was quite productive."


	24. Chapter 24

Jacob's session

Jacob was sitting across from me on the couch. He had his hands in his jeans pockets, and was slumped down the back of the couch in a defeated posture. We had gotten the formalities out of the way, and he signed everything, but that was almost four minutes ago, and we were sitting in dead silence.

"I don't know what to say," he said, finally.

"Whatever's on your mind."

"What's the point of this?" he asked.

"Your father is worried about you. You have been through a lot, and he thinks I can help," I said.

"How?"

"Therapy can help you get your thoughts organized. Help you process your emotions, and cognitive therapy might help break down impulsive reactions, which can help werewolves."

"I'm fine."

"Has anyone told you that you weren't?"

He shifted awkwardly. "Yeah. Bella calls it her Jacob and Sam's Jacob."

"What does that mean?"

"It's like how I acted before I phased and then how I act after I phase. Sort of she will say if my behavior is more human or werewolf."

"How does it make you feel when she does that?"

"Like I am a freak. Like I lost myself. Sometimes I think it's true. I try to do things that I used to like, work on cars, hang with Quil and Embery, but it feels different."

"Do you tell your brothers this? I bet it feels weird for them too."

"It does until they imprint, and the imprint makes all the human things go back into balance. But without an imprint, your stuck."

"Imprinting does a lot for a werewolf, but there are things that you can get the same things from imprinting from other sources."

"Like how?"

"Well, in a few months you will start back to school. You can make a human friend. Not have a close friend, but someone to maybe talk about the weather, class, cars, girls, get a movie. Make sure that you come up with some good excuses so you can get out if you need to and still keep the friendship."

"I can do that?"

"How do you think you are going to meet your imprint? You are not going to feel better spending all day locked up in your garage. The Cullen kids all go to school, Carlisle goes to work, I would go out to bars with dates when I lived in Italy, if it is constant supernatural stuff all the time, you are going to get burned out."

He nodded, shocked that I am giving him permission to be around people. "But, Sam wants us around the pack because we can be so volatile," he said.

"Sam has a boss," I said. "I'll talk to your father. Billy trust you guys. I highly doubt that y'all are going to phase in a club at Port Angeles unless y'all get really drunk."

Jake laughed. "Yeah. We probably don't need to try that." He thought for a minute, then he asked quietly, "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded.

"How long do I have until they… turn her?"

"I don't really know. I am not involved in that process."

"What do I do? How do I get her to realize that she is throwing her life away?"

"What have you tried?"

"When I phased and they were gone, just keeping her safe. Now that they are back, I am trying to convince her that she would give up everything to be one of them. I want to make her see that Vampires are evil and that she does not really want to be with them."

"That is the problem. Has it occurred to you that she really does want to be with them?"

"Why?"

A thought occurred to me, "Let's play a game to answer that question, its called "Swapping Heads". You be Bella and I'll be you, okay? Answer my questions the way Bella would and see if you can get inside her head. Okay?"

"Alright," he said hesitantly.

"Bella," I said, "you are smart, funny, and kind. You can have any man you want. Why do you want Edward when he is so dangerous?"

Jacob thought a minute and said, "I am attracted to the danger. It makes me feel alive."

"Very good," I said. "Okay. You will clearly have to give up being around your friends and family to be with Edward. How is that a fair trade?"

"It's not a fair trade. It's stupid."

"No. Your being Bella. What would Bella say?"

He sighed. "I am not close to my friends. I feel invisible around them. My parents have always put themselves first. Now that my mom is married, she does not need me, and my dad he did not even fight for custody rights, so he does not care."

"There you go."

"But none of that is true!"

"It's true to Bella."

"Okay, fine then what about me?"

"Ask her. Hey Bella, Jacob has asked you not to be a vampire, but you are doing it anyway. What is up with that?"

"Jacob is a kid. I don't really care what he thinks."

I rolled my eyes. "You really think that is true. You are her best friend. Of course she cares what you think. Come on, dig. Why does she want to be a vampire?"

"To give Sam hell?"

"What? No! What did she tell you?"

"So she and Edward can be together forever and blah blah blah."

"Okay. Good. What happened last September?"

"The Cullens left."

"And?"

"She got depressed."

"Bingo. How did she act when she was depressed?"

"Well, Charlie said she had nightmares, and I saw she was suicidal, or at least self-destructive, and she had panic attacks if you left her alone."

"Right. Would you choose to live like that?"

"So the alternative is turning into a vampire?" he said standing up and balling his fist.

"No, of course not," I said. "I am doing this to help you understand where she is coming from. Bella needs help, she is not thinking straight, you as her friend need to be patient with her."

"Oh," he said sitting down. "So, what is the alternative to biting her?"

"I'm working on it."


	25. Chapter 25

Just as Jacob was leaving, Sam walked through the door.

"Hey man," said Jacob. "What's wrong?"

"I am here to talk to Serina. Go ahead and go home," said Sam.

"Oh. Okay," Jacob said, and got on his bike and drove off.

"Good Evening, Sam. Do you want something to drink?"

"A margarita mix, some salt, and tequila," he said.

"You're as bad as Leah. Come on in. Have a seat anywhere. Some of the Cullens are coming, too, so we are going to wait a second."

He sat in the recliner.

Just then the door opened, and I heard Bella Swan say, "Why do I have to be here?"

"Because you jumped off a cliff because a vision of me telling you not to," said Edward.

"So?!" she said.

"Your doing it Bella, or I will tell Charlie!"

"Ugh!" Then she stomped into the room.

"Come on Bella," I said, "Monday morning went okay."

"Yeah I guess,"' she said, slumping down on the couch.

Edward came in and slid in next to her, placing his arm around her and kissing her on the cheek. "Thank you," he whispered.

Then, Esme and Carlisle came in. Esme took a seat on the couch by Bella, and Carlisle sat in the other recliner by Sam.

I got up to close the door. "Okay, lets get started. This is a depression Support group and it focuses on dealing with depressive symptoms and managing them in a healthy way. We are going to share stories and swap ideas about coping. All of you were invited to this group because you have become suicidal in the past, and a component of suicide is extreme depression. So we are going to talk about healthy ways to deal with depression.

"The rules for this group are: One, the treaty is extended to my house for sessions, but that does not mean you can hunt during this time around here. Two, this is a closed group, which means if you think someone would benefit from coming here, I need to meet with them and make sure they really would. This is for the group's safety and theirs, and no one can just come and listen. This rule is due to what we discuss in this group. Three, if you are here to start a fight because this is a safe space, you get kicked out. Four, I have to do something if someone is getting hurt or if someones gonna get hurt, intentional or not. Five, because we are going to talk about suicide and self-harm, I can do safety check which entail texting you or someone else and making sure you're okay. Okay?"

Everybody nodded.

"Who would you text?" asked Bella.

"For you, Edward, maybe Alice."

She nodded, looking relieved.

"What requires that?" ask Sam.

"You don't show up to a session without warning. You are ducking my calls. I got a bad feeling that you hurt yourself."

He nodded.

"Any other questions?"

Everyone shook their heads no.

"Okay, today lets just start why we're here. As much information as you feel comfortable with."

"I'll start," said Carlisle. "Um, well I have attempted suicide several times. The first was when I first became a vampire. My father and I were hunting vampires and I somehow got bitten back in London during 1663. During those next few decades, I tried just about anything to die, poison, starvation, drowning, jumping off cliffs. No matter what I did, I lived. I hated myself, knew my father hated me. Soon, I found myself living in a cave like an animal on the moors. I learned that I survive on animal blood, and I learned to live with myself. I studied for two centuries to resist blood and then went to be a doctor. I thought if I could help people I could live with myself."

"And is it easier?" I asked.

"Yes, there are days I almost enjoy what I do. Helping people. For me that is the key."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I said. "Who is next?"

"I'll go," said Bella, "I guess, um I was fine. I was enjoying the twelfth grade, dating a great guy, who was a vampire, and having a ball, and then I got hurt, and the vampires left. It wasn't like a normal break up, it was like someone died. I couldn't eat, sleep, concentrate. I had visions of him when I was in danger, and I liked it, so I tried to put myself in dangerous situations as much as possible. I even jumped off a cliff to keep the vision alive. And what's crazy is now we are back together, and I am fine, no visions, but my dad mad, my best friends mad, hell even my boyfriend's mad. But the thought of breaking up makes me have a panic attack, and I don't know what to do."

"I am so sorry," said Edward, holding her hand.

"You are in a bad situation, Bella," I said. "I am trying to work on that. I need you to promise you will stay safe until I come up with a solution."

"Yeah. Okay," she said.

I looked at Sam. "You're next."

"Well, I was a normal high school senior too, then I phased into a werewolf. I went crazy in the woods for three days, and I did not phase out until I fell asleep. Then I kept everybody at arm's length, not talking to my arm, or Leah, my girlfriend. Then the council found out, and told me everything. They said I had to break up with Leah, but I snuck around to see her. One time, I met her cousin, and I imprinted, and I can't describe the feeling. It was like girls did not exist before I met her. I told Emily I was a wolf, and we went out, but she was ashamed that it hurt Leah, and she demanded that I go back to her. I got so mad, I phased. All I heard was her scream and saw a lot of blood. I ran to the cliffs and threw myself off of them, hoping I'd die. Of course, I lived and then Jared came and told me, Emily was in the hospital and wanted to see me. I haven't left her since."

"Thank you, Sam. Edward?"

"Well, my story is pretty much the same. I got sick of a fever and was turned by Carlisle. I had always considered suicide as a way out of this life. During last fall, it was obvious that my family was not safe for Bella. We left, and I went away, trying everything to get my mind off her. One horrid afternoon in March of this year, I got a call from my sister that Bella had committed suicide. I had no hope. I went to the Volturi and begged for death, and when they would not give it to me, I tried to force their hand. I tried to reveal myself to humans, but low and behold Bella showed up, not dead and willing to take me back. Now nothing can keep us away. But, I fear that my life will end with hers."

Bella choked out a sob. "No!"

"Edward," I said. "We are not going to talk about ending our lives. How can you restate that?"

"Bella gives my life meaning."

"That is acceptable," I decided. "Miss Esme, its your turn."

"Well, I have not been suicidal in years. I committed suicide when my child died. When I woke up a vampire, in Carlisle's arms I was so angry. But then he told me that he had a son named Edward, and I would be his mother, if we married. I got close to Edward, and the rest of the children as they came into our lives. Now, I would not trade my life for anything."

"That is what we all need to do," I said. "Find meaning in our lives that help us handle the highs and lows. This was a great first session. If this time works for everyone next week, we will meet here again."


	26. Chapter 26

It was almost 7 and I had finished typing up all of my notes that I had made that day in therapy. It was time to unwind and hang out for a little bit. I made some soup on the stove. Then went to the living room and turned on the television. Yesterday was grey's anatomy, and apparently yesterday some singer named Taylor Hicks won a singing contest, that I did not care about.

I found a rerun of CBS's Two and A Half men, one of the earlier seasons. It appeared that Jake got in trouble at school for drawing a picture, and Alan went down to the school to talk to the principle. He asked Charlie to run his office for him. Jake's picture turns out to be making fun of a young girls breasts, and Alan has to explain it to his mom while Jake talks to the principal. Meanwhile, Charlie turns Alan's office into a brothel. I laughed. This was great.

The doorbell rang.

"It's open," I said.

Carlisle walked through the door.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked.

"It's 7:25. The council meeting starts at 8. I figured that I could take you to the council meeting."

"Oh. Right, it is Friday," I said. I got up and put my dishes in the sink. "I was going to go to Port Angeles tonight. Maybe I can go next Friday."

"Serina, you are one of them."

"But I don't want to be one of them," I said, turning around to face him.

"And hiding here will make that happen? You must face who you are."

I stared into his eyes, and saw nothing but loving concern. I sighed, "I'll grab my jacket."

We pulled up to a small bonfire on First Beach. Carlisle parked the car, and we both got out. As I walked towards the wolves, I could not help but feel like I was trespassing on some sacred ground and that I would soon be ripped apart by them.

"What are you doing here?!" growled Paul, standing up.

"She is one of us, Paul," said Sam.

"She had not phased," objected Paul.

"It's only a matter of time," said Billy. He motioned for me to approach.

"Call me if you need me," said Carlisle, "or get Sam to bring you home. He seems to be the gentlemen."

"Okay," I said, and walked closer to the pack. I turned when I heard the car door shut, and watched Carlisle drive away.

"It's nice to see you again," said Emily. "Help yourself if you're hungry."

I grabbed a hot dog and a water, and went to sit by her and Sam.

"That's all you're going to eat?" asked Seth.

I looked down at my food, and thought that maybe I could get more. I shrugged, "I might get seconds, if I am hungry later."

"First, I would like to know what you have been told about werewolves, Serina," asked Billy.

I bit into my hot dog, and took a sip of my water to wash it down. "Well, I have been around wolves all of my life. From my observations, their magic comes from the land, and you were able to shift your spirits from your bodies into wolves. Through the generations, the ability merged and you turned into wolves. This ability is passed down by a gene that seems to be recessive. To be a werewolf, you must have the gene, be of proper age, and the land is threatened by the presence of vampires. For some reason, thirteen can be considered a proper age, although Sam was eighteen when he first phased. Also, it doesn't matter of the vampires intent because the Cullens caused many of you to phase, although they harmed no one. This is different than other wolves I have been around. From what I have heard, you have to be sixteen and someone must be in imminent danger but whatever. What I cannot get is why I am a werewolf? Why am I suddenly reacting to blood like this?"

"You are well learned," said Billy. "What did Carlisle say?"

"That my body is in transition and it is rejecting blood."

"What do you know happened to you," said Billy. "Tell us your story."

"Well, there is a powerful group of Vampires that were considered royalty in both the human world and vampire world alike that was formed in the around 1150 BC in early Rome. Their leaders were Aro, Marcus, and Didyme, Aro's sisters. They created the laws of vampires, and created the riches and splendor of vampires. They fought several covens, and they gained many powers, creating the guard, strong vampires with special powers that do their bidding. They had slaves and free in their coven, and you can earn your freedom.

"Anyway, about 1470s my grandfather was a Duke of Milan, and he was a tyrant. His people tried to overthrow him, and they were too much for his army. He sent word to Aro, begging him for help. Aro sent the guard and they subdued the people the people. In gratitude, my grandfather gave them whatever they wanted. Aro took my mother as his prize. She was twelve at the time. My mom lived with the Volturi until she was twenty and then Aro bit her on her birthday. She joined the guard, and was one of Aro's favorites. Somehow she got pregnant and had me. I lived there until I was bitten when I was 16, by Caius. Then I was trained as an assassin. In the 1700's Carlisle came to stay with the Volturi. He bought us from Aro and Caius, and freed us. We lived in Italy until we came here."

"You were slaves?" asked Seth.

"Yeah," I said. "But it is okay. When Carlisle freed us, we stayed with him for about a century and he taught us how to be free. Then women were allowed to go to college, and I enrolled at Oxford to study psychology in England, and my mom went to Italy and studied history. I worked in a research lab studying psychology in England, and it was fascinating, but I got a job at a museum in Italy. That was right before Carlisle called me to come help you guys. Now, my mom is a History professor at the University of Bologna."

"That's so cool," said Jacob.

I sighed. "I wished I knew what my father was doing, or even who he was. At least I know he was a werewolf."

"Maybe now that you know, your mom will tell you the whole story," said Billy.

"Doubtful," I thought.


	27. Chapter 27

It was Saturday night, my first full weekend in a new town, and I was aching to go out and mingle among the humans. I went on Google and searched for bars near us. Come to find out, there was no nightlife near this town, and the closest spots were an hour away in Port Angeles. I sighed and figured it was worth the trip to get some interaction with people my own age.

I went to my closet and looked for something that would be suitable for a night out on the town. Opting for some black jeans, a red spaghetti-strapped tank, some heels, and a black jacket, I finished my outfit with red lipstick, pink blush, smokey eyes, and black mascara. I was in the mood to have some fun tonight, and maybe get in a little trouble.

"Going out to study human interactions. Be home late," I texted Edward.

After a few minutes, he texted back, "Get the man's name before you stick your tongue down his throat. And watch your alcohol intake."

"Yes, father," I texted back.

The trip there was not bad, since the club was just right off Highway 101. On the way there I jammed to Pink, Christina Agulera, and Avril Levigne on my iPod. When I pulled up to the club, I parked my bike and buried my iPod in my purse. I walked into the bar. The music was blaring in my ears, but I loved the beat. I could smell the humans, but it was fun to pretend that I was one of them. I could eat, drink, and dance on the floor. There was no Caius here to tell me that I was a slave and that he could own me.

I shuffled up towards the bar, and grabbed an empty seat.

"This taken?" I said to the guy beside me.

"Not yet," he said.

"Thanks."

The bartender turned around. He was in his early thirties, jet black hair, nice blue eyes. "Hi," he said, "What can I get ya?"

"Um, Cosmo," I said.

"I am gonna need ID," he said.

I nodded and fished out my driver's license, and showed it so he could see my ID. He nodded.

"Cosmo coming right up," he said.

I made a quick glance at my ID, and saw that Carlisle, or Alice, made my birthday April 11 , 1985. That would make me an Aries in Zodiac signs, I thought, sounds reasonable.

The bartender put the Cosmo in front of me.

"Open a tab," I said, and he nodded.

The taste of cranberries danced on my tongue as alcohol rushed to my head. I realized that if I did not eat anything with this I really would be sticking my tongue down strangers throats like Edwards warning. I picked up a menu that was sitting in front of me. They had a pretty good menu, serving burgers, fish and chips, pizza, onion rings, nachos, salads, and some other things.

After I thought for a second, I got the bartender's attention. "Hey can I have a chicken Caesar salad?"

"Sure. Be right up. Want another cocktail?"

"Water," I said. I got to drive home.

He got me a water and said he put my order in. Quietly, I drank my water, and just enjoyed being out. I looked over to an event calender by the door, and was that they had karaoke Sunday and Wednesday, something called Open Mic on Tuesday, and Trivia on Friday.

"Here is your water," he said.

"Thanks, hey what's "Open Mic?" I have never heard of that before."

"Really?"

"Nope."

"Well-"

"Its where people come and share their poetry or a song they wrote," said a man sitting by me on the left, three seats down.

I turned to see who had answered my question. He had blond hair, hazel eyes, and a know-it-all smile. I flashed him a small smile and he sauntered over to me. Grabbing my water, I turned around in my chair and leaned back on the bar.

"Have you ever come to open Mic?" I asked.

"I don't have the soul of a poet. I come to Karaoke. I have a great voice."

I laughed at the bold claim. "Your modesty becomes you, sir."

"Is that your bike outside? The black Harley?"

"Yeah."

"She's pretty, and she looks new."

"Less than 5,000 miles on her. I am still breaking her in, but she rides like a dream," I said, chewing on my ice. What is this man doing to me?

"Mind if I look at it?"

I shrugged, "Sure." I grabbed my jacket and got the bar-tenders attention.

"I need to settle," I said, even though I had barely touched my food. 

He rang me up, and gave me the check, $19.24. For a salad and a drink, you are kidding me! I thought.

The man reached for his wallet, but I gently touched his arm.

"Please, let me," I said to my mysterious gentleman caller.

"Nope," he said, handing the bartender a black credit card. I scoffed in dismay, and he flashed me a billion dollar smile. "What is your name?"

"Serina."

"Serina?" he said, saying my name with reverence. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

I blushed at his words. "I am Alex." He offered me his hand, and we went out of the bar into the chilly night air.

"How much have you had to drink?" asked Alex.

"Just a Cosmo, and I ate something. I should be fine to drive home."

"No we should be on the safe side," he said pulling me to a line of cars. "I ought to drive you home." 

"Oh, I live all the way in Forks. Its an hour away from here," I said, as we walked toward the truck. "Ou would not get home until 2 in the morning. Really I am fine to drive. My bike is right over th-"

He threw me against the truck and before I could scream his body was against me, pinning me down. He grabbed my hair as he forced his tongue into my mouth. Tears poured down my face as a sob escaped my lips.

"Hello, my dear," said Caius, in my mind, "you look delicious."

Then something in me snapped. I am not a little human anymore. I moved my hands up towards Alex's face in a swift movement and in a snap, I twisted his head off. He laid there, decapitated at my feet.

Blinking, I looked down at the blood on my hands. "Did I just kill someone?" I thought. "I have not killed anyone in half a century. Carlisle is going to kill me. Oh God, Billy, the treaty! I can't kill anybody. What have I done?"

Terrified, I run back to my bike and throw the key in the ignition, and put it in gear. Soon I am going back down the highway towards the Cullens house. My only thought is, "What have I done?"


	28. Chapter 28

Solar Flares Chapter 28

It was ten o'clock at night and there was some traffic on the highway, but not a lot.

It is supposed to take an hour and fifteen minutes to get home, however I made it in forty-five minutes. I kept my speed at fourteen miles over the speed limit and dodged in and out of traffic the whole way there. I ignored the honking and people flipping me the bird as I weaved between them, since that was the least of my problems.

When I finally reached the Cullens house, I drove my bike to my cottage and parked the bike. I cut the engine and started walking inside, when I felt my phone buzz in my purse. After fishing it out, I looked down and saw it was Carlisle calling me.

I answered it. "Yes," I said hoarsely.

"Will you come to the big house please?" he said.

"Zio, I am tired. Can we do this tomorrow?"

"I am afraid I am adamant, cara mia."

I sighed. "Of course," I said, "see you in a minute."

I sprinted to the big house, and noticed that there were some unknown cars there, Bella's red chevy truck, and Jacob Black's red Volkswagen rabbit. I blinked through my tears. Why were they here?

I walked into the house, and saw them there, Bella, the Cullen Family, Old Quil, Sue Clearwater, Billy Black, and the Pack. The faces of the Cullen family and Seth was a look of shock and despair, Bella and the Quileute Council looked horrified, and the rest of the pack was seething with anger.

"Serina, please sit," said my uncle.

I shook my head. "I feel like I need to be prepared to run if I need to."

"They won't do anything to you," said Bella, standing up to walk towards me.

"Bella no!" yelled Edward, grabbing at her hand.

"Are you crazy?!" asked Paul. "She just feed on someone."

"I did not do anything!" I protested.

"Oh really?" asked Emmett, and he turned to flip on the news.

"We are reporting live outside of a club in downtown Port Angeles," said the news anchor, "where a man named Alexander White has been found dead in the club parking lot. Police have not ruled out foul play due to his broken neck, but his alcohol level was found to be at 0.5, where 0.4 is considered deadly."

"He drank too much, did something stupid, and got himself killed," I stated. "Case closed."

"What did you do to him bloodsucker?!" sneered Paul.

"I was clear when you came that you must live in the Cullens lifestyle," said Billy.

"I did not feed on him," I protested through my tears.

"But you killed him," sneered Leah. "You went bar hopping in Port Angeles get drunk and take out a couple of humans. You think that since it's not in the territory we are not going to care?"

"No! That is not it at all. I went to enjoy the human experience. I had no idea things would get out of hand. I can explain all of this. I went into the club, he was a few seats a away, he bought me a drink, and we started flirting, but-"

"He came on to you, so that justified what you did to him?" asked Sam, his hands shaking.

"What did I do to him? You mean what did he do to me?" I whispered, tears falling down my cheeks.

"What happened?" asked Carlisle.

I took a shaky breath, steeling myself. "We talked, he bought me a drink, walked me to the car, tried to kiss me, and when I said no he-he-" I trailed off. "I can't do this," I thought, "Edward finish for me," and played the scene where the man touched me in my head.

"He tried to rape her," whispered Edward. "She killed him to make him stop."

"Oh my God!" said Sue.

"I told you there was an explanation!" said Bella. "She would not break the treaty over a silly human without an explanation."

Quickly, Rosalie was by my side, hugging me. I cried on her shoulder, and she rubbed my back. When we finally broke away, she looked at me and whispered, "Its over. He can't hurt you anymore."

"Honey, come sit down," said Sue, now in full sympathetic nurse mode.

Rosalie lead me to the large couch, and I curled up. I was supposed to be the shrink, the one in control, but by this time tears were streaming down my face, and I was the one who needed help. Suddenly, I was very cold, and I wrapped my arms around my torso and pulled my feet up to my chest.

"I will get you a blanket," said Edward, and he walked out of the room and down the hall.

"Are you hungry?" said Esme. "We have a fully stocked kitchen for you and Bella."

"Do we have tea?" I asked, horsley.

"We have Chai, Lavender, and Green tea."

"Lavender, please," I said.

She walked away to go work on the tea.

Billy pulled his chair around to me and studied me. "Did he hurt you, Sisi?" he asked.

"He pinned me to the truck and started to kiss me. I started to remember Ciaus, and I just panicked for a second. Then I remembered that I could do something about it this time. So I killed him."

"Who is Caius?" asked Seth.

"All of the vampires are subject to the Volturi rule. They were created in Greece in ancient times, and have survived for centuries. They are the epitome of being a vampire. My mother was sold to the Vulturi to settle a debt by my human grandfather. Somehow, she got pregnant, and they looked into my future with a witch and saw I would be a powerful Vampire. They cast lots to see who got to raise me and be responsible for my Vampire training. Caius won. He is the youngest of the three, ambitious, powerful, and vengeful. Starting when I was sixteen, he began taking me to his bedroom, and pushing me my limit sexually. He was going to bite me when my body could not take it anymore. Most humans die the first night, but I lasted three months because of my werewolf nature."

I looked up into Billy Black's eyes and saw pain there and could not tell if it was sympathy that he tried to hurt me, or anguish that a life was lost. "I am sorry I broke the treaty," I said, ``I understand if you need to do something."

"We were angry at first," said Sam, speaking for the pack and the Council, "because we did not know the whole story. It was clearly self-defence. If Leah was in the same position, I would not have cared if she killed the prick. You are clearly innocent."

Billy, Sue, and Old Quil nodded in agreement.

"I have a request," said Edward, "I understand that you want to go out and observe human interaction, and if the man would have been a gentleman you would have had a pleasant evening, but I would like to request you do not go out after 8:30 at night unaccompanied. I would hate to kill more than one person."

Several nodded in agreement.

"We can make it a girls night!" squealed Alice, trying to get me to cheer up. I smiled at her and nodded.

"It is late," said Carlisle. "Unless you need medical attention, I suggest you get some rest."

I nodded and rose. "I will move my bike so you can get out. I hope everyone has a restful Sunday, sessions will resume Monday."

"Are you sure?" asked Jacob.

"Take the day off,'' said Bella.

"And let you get off that easy?" I said, grinning at her. "Oh no. Besides I can rest tomorrow and be fine by Monday. I will see you all later." And with that I withdrew to my beautiful cottage.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

It was Sunday. My mother would be at church. I refused to go to church after Caius changed me, for fear that I would burst into flames. Well, not literally, but I did not need to anger God with my mockery. Carlisle insisted on going to an evening mass at Christmas, more out of respect for his mother than anything else. I would agree to go, if I was still here. It is still May, but the odds are several of my clients will still need me. Christmas Mass would not be too unpleasant, out of respect for Carlisle.

I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was 1:55. My stomach growled for lunch, and I should probably indulge it since I denied it breakfast, but my bed was warm and safe. I grabbed my laptop and pulled up the news in Port Angeles. The incident last night was all over the news. According to Peninsula Daily News, his name was Alex White. He was twenty-three years old, and had just graduated from the University of Washington in Seattle last December and moved to Port Angeles to be an accountant.

His friend Mark said, "He was a guy you can have a beer, share a laugh, and just watch sports. He did not want anything from anybody. It is a real shame to lose such a man."

I scowled at the computer. Mark obviously did not know Alex well. Or I am a murderer. I shook the thought away. He was touching me just like Caius was, and if I had not stopped it... But did I need to use such force? He was just a tiny human.

I hung my head in shame. I was a murderer, simple. The only reason why I was not dead myself was that Carlisle had shown mercy.

The doorbell rang. Sighing, I threw the covers off and stood up shakily. Grabbing my wrap, I shuffled towards the door. It opened it slowly and saw Rosalie standing there.

"Hi," I murmured.

"Can I come in?" asked Rose.

"Sure," I shrugged, and shuffled back inside.

I looked at my living room and kitchen. They were clean and neat, but I had been eating on my bed, so it was dirty. Also, I had not showered in twenty-four hours and I was gross.

"You are not answering your phone. What have you been doing?" asked Rosalie.

"Oh, you know, just resting. I went for a run today," I lied, hoping that made me sound less pathetic.

"Alice saw a vision of you looking at the man you killed on the internet," she said with her hands on her hips.

I sighed. "Yes, his name was Alex White. He studied accounting at the University of Washington in Seattle. He was working in Port Angeles at his first job."

"Well, if he would have been a gentleman, he could have had a happy life," said Rosalie stoically.

I looked up at her in shock. "How can you say that? I murdered someone. I am a murderer."

"We settled this," she said sitting down beside me. "We all thought you did something unspeakable, when Alice saw the vision because all she saw saw you killing him. But, then you told us the whole story, and even the werewolves agreed that you were within your rights to take him out. Why are you upset about this?"

Sighing, I looked at her. "When he touched me, my mind went blank. I had a flashback to when Ciaus touched me, when he turned me. Terrified, I wanted to run away from him. But, he had me up against the car, trapping me. The only thought I had was to kill him. If I had been in treatment, if I was receiving help for PTSD besides that one time, I may not have panicked, and I could have taken him down without killing him."

"That is like saying, 'If Jasper had more training around humans, he would not have reacted that way when Bella cut her finger and we would not have left,'. First, your speculating, you might always react that way when men touch you, no matter how much therapy you have. I don't let anyone but Emmett touch me, and that is only when I feel safe. Second, the person you need to blame is the asshole who tried to take something when you said no. You have a right to defend yourself. If you are not supposed to use excessive force, which I don't think you did, then he should not be trying to rape women in a bar's parking lot."

"So you do not think that I am a murder?" I asked.

"Stella, no," she said. "You know, I was turned because I was raped to death by my fiance and his friends. I killed all of them, in my own theatrical way. Carlisle did not reprimand me for it. Also," she paused. "Well, this may not be my place, but Bella had a close call once. She was walking from a bookstore to her friends down the street and she took a wrong turn and about five men jumped her."

"O my God," I said.

"Luckily, Edward was, for a lack of a better word, stalking her, and he convienced the men to back off. He would have killed them, but Bella did not know about us, and there was hope she did not find out. Of course, the same night he told her he read minds, so he might as well have just killed them," she said laughing.

"Edward seems to lose his head around her," I said. I tried to picture aloof Edward stalking a woman then revealing such intimate details to her. He actually has fallen for this creature.

"Yeah."

My stomach growled.

"When was the last time you hunted?" I asked her.

"Thursday."

"Would you like to go snag a few deer. I am starving."


	30. Chapter 30

It was a dreary afternoon on a Monday. I had already eaten half a cup of chicken noodle soup, and put the rest in the fridge for dinner tonight. Billy was sitting across from me in his chair, looking a little on edge.

"Sorry I am eating Billy, I got backed up with paperwork." It wasn't a lie. Bella was embarrassed about taking medicine, so she had been hiding it from her dad and skipping doses. I took a half an hour this morning arguing with her to get her to take her medicine. Edward had to jump in, and only after threatening hospitalization, did she agree to do it. I was talking to Edward about how often she has to take it, when I realized it was three minutes past the time Billy's session started, and he was patiently waiting in my living room. "I have nothing to do until grief at four, so you have the floor, my good sir."

Billy laughed. He was quiet a minute, and I knew that he was thinking. I sat patiently and let him think, knowing he was just getting his thoughts in order.

"Nothing leaves this room," he finally asked.

"No. Unless someone is going to be harmed," I said. But knowing Billy, that was not the problem.

"I lied last week, when I said I was fine," he said.

"I know," I said. "That is why I wanted you to come back."

"I am lost," he said. "I have no clue what the hell I am doing. The main thing that I am worried about is my kids, Jacob, Rachel, and Becca. Well, Jacob is okay, apart from Bella being a vampire, you are working on that aren't you?"

"I am not a magician," I said.

"Okay right. Well, Becca and Rach haven't been home in a long time. I begged Rachel to come home, but she refuses because college is so important."

"What is she studying?"

"Business."

"What does she want to do with it?"

"I don't know. I am trying to get her to come back and be involved with the Reservation, but that is not going to happen."

"Why?"

"Becca and Rach said they wanted out of the house and off the land from when they were about twelve years old," he said bitterly.

"Why would they say that?"

"They did not want to be around memories of their mother."

"I see. Can you go see her?"

"That long car ride is hard on my legs. And the money."

So you're telling me that Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca don't value your opinion at all?" I asked.

"They are respectful, but they do their own thing."

"Isn't that what you want? To raise independent children?"

"Independence I can live with, but this is… abandonment."

"Have you told them that?"

"Hey come home face all of your old memories and fears so your old man can have a semblance of relationship."

"Hmm. Can you call?"

" I miss seeing her face. She has her mother's eyes."

"Do you know what Skype is?"

"No."

"It's a website that uses the internet to allow you to use video and audio to talk to the person. It's free. Do you have a computer?"

"When Rachel and Rebecca started school, I got them a cheap Toshiba. Jacob uses it for his papers too."

"How fast is the internet?"

"About 800 kilobits."

"It should work."

"So they download it, and I download it. Then what?"

"Then you do a username, so you can find each other. Then you search for her username and call her. Then she picks up and you talk. You can even do a conference call where you, Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca can all talk."

"That's fantastic. We could all have dinner together as a family."

"Yep. Now it might be buggy. You will have to be patient with it. The screen will freeze, or the audio will go in and out. But you can call them as much as you want. It's free."

Billy grinned, but then looked tired, and his face fell.

"What is on your mind?"

"I miss Sarah," he said.

My brow furrowed, and I cocked my head. "Of course you do," I said. Why wouldn't he miss her?

"It's not just with my kids, it's with the Pack. Sue is great, and Emily is wonderful as Pack mom's. But both of them are a little… docile. Sarah would be able to handle Leah's grief and Paul's temper. Then that time I was sure Sam was going to commit suicide, Harry, Old Quil, and I were at our wits end. We almost called the vampires. But Sarah, she could have just handled it."

"What do you think she would do?"

"She knew all about how to use art to express your emotions. She loved painting, but she knew how to draw, use watercolor, all different stuff. She would have gotten those kids to talk in some way and make them think they were just painting a sunset. She did it all the time. When Rebecca was little, I could not tell if she was upset unless she cried. But Sarah would sit her down with crayons, and get her to draw her feelings, and they would talk about it."

"Okay, Sarah would use her natural gifts and something she practiced art to create a safe environment where the kids could talk about their emotions and get support. So what are you good at?"

He threw his hands up in the air.

I growled. "Billy, I am not treating you for low self-esteem. What are you good at that you can share with the pack?"

"I am a natural born leader. Jacob is too, he just doesn't know it yet."

"Great. What do you do as part of your duties as a leader for the tribe every Friday night?"

"What? You mean tell stories?"

"You're a natural at it. Smooth voice, dynamic, captivating, engaging. Also, your stories have messages, either a strategy or encouragement or history. It means something to the pack. It meant something to me as a hybrid. The pack looks to you to tell them who they are, the older ones especially."

"Huh. I just feel like an old man in a wheelchair."

"The oldest werewolf is nineteen. Do you think they know what they are doing? You are a lot more than an old man in a wheelchair to a lot of people, old man."

"Who you calling old, you old bag?"

I gasped. "This body is sixteen years old," I said indignantly. "And the rest of me is as old as dirt."

We both laughed.


	31. Chapter 31

The timer beeped on the stove, indicating that my food was ready. I was cooking an Italian recipe of meatball soup with basil, carrots, celery, green beans, onion, tometoes, mini pasta noodles, meatballs, and spices. It smelled heavenly when I was stirring it before. I got a small bowl from the cabinet and spooned myself some supper. Walking over to the fridge, I got a bottle of Jones grape soda, a local company. Bella drinks it, and said that it was good. I twisted off the cap, and took a swig, it was good. I set it down on the table before I sauntered back to the stove.

My mouth actually watered as I dished a bowl of soup out, and went to sit down. My phone started to ring, and I looked at the caller ID before I answered it.

"Hey, Zio. What's up?"

"What are you doing tonight?" asked my uncle.

"Staying in. I finished _Gatsby_. I was going to start _Carmilla_. Why, did you have something in mind?"

"I have analyzed your blood sample," he said.

I stopped eating.

"Edward and I have put together a file on your pack if you would like to come see it," he said softly.

"I am on my way," I said. Using vampire speed, my dishes were in the sink, the soup was in the fridge, the stove was cleaned, and my jacket was on. I shut off the lights, and sprinted out of the door to the big house. I sprinted up the driveway to the house, and rushed right into the living room.

"Hey, slow down, cucciola," chastised Carlisle.

I laughed at his name for me, little pup. I was a little pup, I was a little wolf. I smiled at the thought.

"I'm sorry, Zio. I am so excited. Can we really find out who my father was?"

"We analyzed your DNA," said Edward, "and began searching through legends and myths. Your Quiltite."

"Quiltite?"

"Yes," affirmed Carliasle.

"How?"

"I am not sure. But that is why you are transitioning so quickly. You are on your land, around your own kind. Your home."

"Could Billy know my father?" I asked.

"I don't know. I am not sure how a Quiltite got in Italy since your mother never came here."

"Billy won't believe this. I got to call my mother."

I took out my phone and dialed her number. The first ring there was no answer. "Please pick up," I pleaded. The second ring, still no answer. Finally, on the third ring she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Mom."

"Yes, honey, what's wrong?"

"Is my father Quiltite?"

She sighed. "Who told you that?"

"Is he?"

"Alright what happened was-"

"Is he?!"

She said nothing for a minute, and I looked at the phone to see if she hung up on me. "Yes," she finally said.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Aro can read minds. If he found out what you were, he could have…"

I nodded. There was a lot worse than being bitten. Cauis technically took it easy on me, since he only hurt me the one time.

"How did it happen?" I asked.

She sighed, then said, "I was a slave to Aro, and he bit me and I could not have children. I heard of a way to become human with a cure, and I sold everything I had to a witch for that cure, and ran away. I lived in fear that Aro was going to find me and I constantly moved from one place to another. In 1922, Carlisle found me and took me to Washington to hide me. I met your father and we fell in love and had you with the cure still in my system. You were born half vampire, half wolf. Then Aro came and found us. If he would have found your father, it would have been a blood bath, so I went quietly, telling him that the baby was his."

"And he bought that?"

"You were a werewolf/vampire child. You looked six months old when you were six weeks old. He did not question that you were his."

"And the werewolf, my… father, he did not care about us enough to stop Aro from taking us?"

"Ephraim alpha ordered him not to fight for you, or the bloodline would me lost."

I said nothing. God forbid the bloodline be lost.

"He loved you, baby. He loved me. He wanted to save us from Caius."

"What was his name?"

"Levi Uley."

"What? I am an Uley?"

"Yes. Your grandfather and grandmother were Thomas and Beatrice Uley. They had three children: your uncle Caleb, then Levi, then your aunt Ruth. Calab had two kids, the oldest one, Johntan married a girl and had Sue who had Seth and Leah. The youngest one died single. Levi married and had two kids, Douglas and Charles. That was after he had a tryst with me, and we had you. Charles married and had three kids: Thomas, Joshua, and Elen, and Joshua had Sam. Then Ruth married and waited to have kids for a while, and then she had a boy named Paul."

"Mom, Paul, Sam, Seth, and Leah are in my pack."

"Oh good! Well, they are your family."

"What happened to Levi?"

"Well, when we met, I swore off allegiance to the Volturi and became part of the tribe. They accepted me, because I was called an imprint, or a werewolf soul mate. I was human and we had you, and you were part of the tribe. Your grandmother, Levi's mother, got to hold you, and she doted on you. That is who you are named after, Serina Beatrice Uley-Ricci is your full name. Although you were part vampire, the wolves accepted you as your own, and Eprium declared us members of the tribe.

"Everything was wonderful the first three years of your life. You played with the other children, since your vampire nature was not an issue, because of the drugs the witch gave me. However, during winter, before your fourth birthday, the Voulturi came. They found Carlisle, who was here during the time, and asked for me, saying that I had run away. Carlisle refused to tell them where I was, and it was coming to a fight. I knew Carlisle would fight to the death for me, so I went voluntarily. Aro read my mind, found out about you, and the wolves, and said if I brought you willingly, he would not destroy the tribe. I had no choice."

"And Levi just let us go?"

"The pack was too small to take on the Volturi. It was a suicide mission. Eprium knew that and ordered him to stay. We said our goodbyes and he held you, one last time, then he gave you to me and we took off. I think that is what killed him."

"They sacrificed us to save the tribe," I whispered.

"He did what he had to, bambina," she said.

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you still love him?"

"Yes."

"I hate him."

"No darling. He worshiped you," she said. "He was ordered not to pursue us."

"Then I hate them all!" I seethed.

"Don't hate, baby. Don't let that anger fester. He did the right thing for his tribe. He was a good man." She sighed and said, "This is why I never wanted you to find out. I did not want you to understand."

"I understand plenty!" I screamed. "I had a chance to be loved and happy in a place where I was accepted, but my father let a vampire take me and rape me and turn me because he did not think I was worth dying for."

"NO! It was an alpha order. He could do nothing but sit there and watch us go. It broke his heart."

"Did he remarry?"

"Well, we never married, so-"

"Did he marry after you?!"

"Yes, to a woman named Ellen."

"And they had kids?"

"Yes."

"So he moved on while we were tortured."

She huffed, "That is not what happened, but yes, if that is what you want to think about him. Technically, while we were in the Volturi, he was starting another family. But, don't think for a second it was moving on."

"He. Moved. On. Mom."

"Baby, some stuff happened that is too hard to explain."

"Did he come and get us?"

"He tried."

"Did he die trying?"

"That is not fair."

"No what is not fair is me being raped by Caius multiple times until my heart gave out!"

"None of this is fair."

We said nothing for a minute. Finally, I said diplomatically, "You have given me a lot to think about."

"Don't be like that," she said.

"I have to go, Mom," I said, and hung up.

I looked around the living room, and saw that Carlisle must have left so I could have some privacy. I wandered into the study and found him staring at a book. When he noticed me, he got up, placing the book on his desk.

"Now you know," he said.

I nodded.

"Cara Mia," he said, holding out his arms, and I ran to him sobbing.


	32. Chapter 32

"Hi Sam," I said, opening the door.

"Hey," he said quietly, walking in. I led him through the house to the therapy room.

"Why the forties?" he asked, suddenly.

"It's the decade I was changed. That kind of makes an impression on you," I answered. We got to the room and I sat down on my chair and grabbed my notebook. Sam sat on the sofa, and leaned back. I noticed that he was one of the only werewolves that did not sprawl out when they sat down, but he tried to confine his frame.

"Get comfortable," I said.

He shuffled his feet a little.

"Alright, how are you feeling?"

He shrugged, "I'm okay."

"Is there anything that you want to cover this session?"

"Not particularly."

"What did you do this week?"

"Help Mom out at the store. She is giving me this hour off and a lunch break and still paying me for eight hours."

"Perk of working for family."

He smiled and nodded.

"How is the pack?"

"We are all tired. That red headed vamp is giving us a run for our money, and people are getting hurt."

"I know. How does that make you feel?"

"Tired. Stressed. Angry. I feel like if I don't stop her then people are going to die."

"Remember, I compared your life to that of like a police or something. You are seeing a lot of crazy stuff, so you are going to have to do some normal stuff to counteract it. So what did you do this week?"

"Well, I asked my mom over to dinner with Em. We talked about the wedding and stuff. Then I started watching ESPN. Its basketball season, and I don't really know how to play it besides, throw the ball in the basket. World cup is next month, and I like to watch that. Then, its pretty much hang with the pack, eat and talk. There is not much to do besides kill vampires."

"Sounds like you are doing pretty good. How has your mood been?"

"Um, You know happy when I'm with Em, mad about vampires, sometimes sad. It depends."

"Is it still shifting pretty heavily?"

"Sometimes I have to work hard to not phase, and sometimes it is really easy. I don't really understand it."

"Do you have times when you feel more agitated than usual?"

"Sometimes I am really patient with Leah, Paul, and Jacob, and sometimes I snap at them."

"Do you have extended periods of time when you feel like you are on the top of the world?"

"What counts as extended?"

"Like more than four days."

He thought for a minute. "Yeah. I tend to ride the high pretty well."

"Do you feel like you dont really miss sleep?"

"I handle being without sleep better than anyone else in the pack, but I figured it was because I was just more adapt because I had been at it for so long."

"Do you ever feel like you can't slow your thoughts down?"

"No."

"That is okay I am pretty sure you have mania. Alright let's talk about the flip side of the coin: depression. Do you ever feel extremely sad empty hopeless?"

He nodded.

"Tell me about it."

"Sometimes, I lie awake at night and think that I am some freak of nature, and nothing is ever going to go back to being normal. I won't be able to move off the land, or get a good paying job, or go to college. I just start to cry."

"How often does that happen?"

He shrugged and said, "Once a week."

"Sam, why haven't you told anyone?"

"It's pathetic."

"You are not pathetic. Look at you being such a good leader, and a big brother, and a fiancee. You are taking care of so many people and you are doing it when you don't feel well. That is not pathetic."

He smiled a little bit as he took the compliment.

"Alright, lets go over your safety plan."

Sam pulled out three pieces of paper that he had stapled together.

"What are your warning signs?" I asked. "These can be thoughts, moods, situations, or actions."

"Thoughts are 'my dad left me because I am unlovable or I am a monster'. Moods are 'being angry or not wanting to talk'. I couldn't think of any situations. And actions are 'cutting myself'."

"Good, a situation could be, a vampire hurt a human and you guys could not protect them. Does that make you want to self harm?"

"A little."

"Then put that down." I watched as he scrawled that on the paper. "Next?"

"Internal coping strategies. What can you do by yourself to remain safe?"

"What did you put?"

"Go for a run. Watch TV. Hunt Vampires."

"I don't want you hunting vampires by yourself so cross that off. What did you do when you were human to relax?"

"Hang out with Leah."

"By yourself."

"Cook."

"You know how to cook?"

He nodded. "Em loves to cook so I let her do it, but I can make just about anything I learned to help my mom out."

"Great, there are three good options. What is the next section?"

"People and places that provide distraction."

"Who can you call when you are upset and they will make you feel better?"

"Emily."

"Okay."

"Jared."

"And Paul?"

"Actually can I do Leah?"

"You can do whomever you want. Just tell them that it is for a safety check so they need to answer you."

"Okay."

"It's just Leah gets so much about my dad and being a werewolf and stuff."

"Sam, Leah is hurting, but she cares for you. Ask her if she is willing to do it and if she says yes, go for it."

"Alright, professionals to contact during a crisis. Who can I talk to? I am a werewolf."

"Me, Carlisle, Sue, and you can put Edward, he is technically a PA. And Sam, listen to me, if you legitamately think you are going to kill yourself, you go to the hospital. Sue is on the staff at Quiltite Health Clinic, and Carlisle is on staff at Forks Community hospital. I don't care if you are running a 110 degree fever, I don't care if it's expensive, I don't care if they ask you what's wrong and you say I want to die because I am a werewolf, and they think you're hallucinating, you go. You understand me?"

"But I can get us all in trouble."

"Sam when a suicidal person says their a werewolf no one takes them seriously. All they would think is that you need help, which would be true, and they would try to give it to you."

"What if I end up in the psych ward?"

"The only way you are going to the psych ward is if I thought it was the only way to keep you alive, and then who cares, tell them that you have a werewolf army and you have come to take over America. I don't want you to think, I can't go get help because I am a werewolf. If you need it, we will get it for you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"This is an Alpha Order."

"I understand."

"How can you make your environment safe?"

"Don't keep guns in the house, keep all the knives in the kitchen where Emily can see them."

"And no alcohol."

"But-"

"I mean it Sam. It screws up your meds."

"Okay," he said defeated and scrawl the amendment onto the piece of paper

"My favorite part, what was your reason to live?"

"Emily."

"Alright. Go eat lunch."


	33. Chapter 33

I have no idea what type of car Leah has, so I am going to guess.

Seth's Session

I heard the rumble of Leah's Ford Focus pull into my driveway, and I heard bickering between the two siblings.

"Why can't I see Edward?" asked Seth, coming in the door.

"Because I don't want to be in vampire territory more than I have to," said Leah.

I smiled as they walked in. "Hey guys," I said. "There is grape soda in the fridge, and Leah feel free to watch some TV in the living room."

Seth glared at his sister while he grabbed a soda, and walked into the therapy room.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"He's being a baby," she said.

"I am not! Your prejudice!" yelled Seth.

"Isn't there a place where Edward and Jacob exchange Bella at the border?"

"Yeah," said Seth.

"Why don't Edward just drop Seth off there at say seven o'clock?"

"That is no time at all. I have to be here an hour!"

"Seth, take it or leave it."

"Fine," he said, crossing his arms and sitting down.

"I'll send Jacob," said Leah. "See ya."

Leah bounded out the door and got into her car. I wondered how she would do for her session in two days, but now was not the time to worry about that.

I went into the room where Seth was sitting, and grabbed my notebook.

"So Seth, how is your day?"

"Fine. Now that I get to spend time with Edward."

I smiled. "You value his friendship."

"Yeah. He is nice to me."

"So you saw me last week, and I asked you to take some papers to your mom and have her sign them, did you do that?"

"Yeah," he said, getting the papers out of his backpack. "They're a little wrinkled."

"Well, its good enough for government work," I said smiling at him. "Now did you read them? Did you understand these papers?"

"Same rules as in Group, but it's just me. You have to tell my mom if someone is getting hurt, but everything else is a secret."

"Basically, yeah. And if I decide that something needs to not be a secret I will tell you first, then your mom. Okay?"

"'Kay," he said.

"Alright last time you asked me if you were normal, and we decided the right question to ask is if you are healthy? Right?"

"Yep. It's normal to do drugs in high school, but its not healthy to do drugs in high school."

"Exactly."

"And we decided there are four areas of health that we need to focus on: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And your assignment was to assess yourself in all of those areas and see if you were happy in those areas. So what did you come up with?"

"Well physically, I am good. I do great in PE. I can do just about anything I want. I am strong, fast, and healthy for my age."

"Excellent."

"Mental, we said that meant like school, logic, IQ and stuff right?"

"Yep."

"Well, I am getting straight A's and everything comes pretty easy. I am good at memorizing things, and then logic, I am good at figuring things out. I can solve problems faster than Leah."

"Okay good."

"The other two are weird."

"Okay let's talk about them. Emotional health, do you feel like you have a good handle on your emotions?"

"Do you mean do I like to get out of control?"

"Or do you think you bottle things up?"

Seth thought a minute, and shuffled his feet. "I tend to bottle things up."

"Do you think that's a good thing or a bad thing?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"What do you do when you are really mad, or really upset?"

"I don't let myself feel this way. It's bad to get upset."

"Who said that?"

"Sam, Edward, Billy," he said.

"They all say its bad to be upset?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

I am going to nip this in the bud right now. "Okay, Edward is not a werewolf, so he does not get to say what feelings are good and what are bad, because he doesn't experience feelings the way you do, okay. Now what did Billy and Sam say exactly?"

"Well, Billy said that we are powerful and we could turn very quickly so we have to be careful."

"Yeah, careful not robots. There are going to be things that get you upset, and there are going to be things that get you upset enough to phase. You have to make sure that you are in a safe place free of wandering eyes and humans. But that does not mean that you cannot get upset."

"Edward says that werewolves are monsters. I am going against my nature and being civilized that is why he likes me. He says I am pure."

I tried to keep my face neutral, but my eyes widened. Edward said something like that to a child, to a young werewolf who could not turn to his father for comfort. And this was said in the session so I can't rip his throat out.

"How did it make you feel when Edward said that?"

"It felt weird. I think he was trying to pay me a compliment but it felt like a challenge, like I have to keep it all together to be worthy. What if I fail? What if I do something that makes me unworthy or corrupts me, will I lose my friendship with Edward?"

"There are a couple of things that you can do. The first one is to tell Edward how that compliment made you feel, and see what his reaction is if you become 'less pure'. It is possible he was just saying that you have a good heart or something and it came out wrong. Another thing you can do, is you can ask Edward to not judge your thoughts and impulses because you have no control over these, and only judge your deliberate actions. You're not a bad person Seth, you would never hurt someone deliberately. The final thing you can do, is to not value Edwards opinion. This would be hard because it would break a strong bond that has been cultivated." 

Seth thought for a minute, "I am going to do the first one and tell him how I felt. Edward is kind of a direct person, and if he thinks I can become less pure, I want to know now rather than later."

"Good. Keep me updated, and I will see you next time," I said.


	34. Chapter 34

**Warning: This is the support group. They are going to talk about domestic violence, child molestion, rape. If you don't like it, don't read.**

I walked into the church basement and it was a little easier to be here this week. Jasper dropped me off and was going to take me to dinner afterwards. I walked into the room, and smelled fresh coffee, and looked to see cookies laid out.

"Hey Serina," said Anna. "Grab one. We are about to get started."

I poured myself some coffee, adding two spoonfuls of sugar, no cream, and went to sit with the group. I sipped the coffee, and it tasted disgusting, but it was warm, it would give me something to do instead of awkwardly sitting there so I continued to sip it.

I sat by a girl with black hair, wearing a crop top, jeans, and some pumps. She slid over as I turned squeezed in and sat down beside her.

"Hey," I said hoarsely.

She scrunched her eyes and analyzed me. "You new?"

"I came last week, but yeah."

"Did it help?"

I shrugged.

"Give it time."

Anna came in and sat down. "Alright," she said. "How was everybody's week?"

I shrugged. A few mumbled okay. It looked like no one felt awesome tonight.

"Well," continued Anna, "welcome to DOVE Support group. You guys know the rules so I am not going to go through that. I just want to let you know that this is a place of healing. We are here because we are survivors of domestic violence and rape. Together we can do this. Who wants to go first."

"I'll go first," said a girl. "Hi I am Lucy. I am a survivor of rape." Her voice started cracking. "Um, this week, I got a call from campus security. They said that they are not going to charge Mac with rape because we were going out, and I had consented before. People at the party said that we were flirting and left together, so that implies that it was consensual."

"WHAT?!" Anna said outraged. "But you were drugged."

"They said I chose to take the drugs. So I am responsible for the actions."

"Who is this?" I said outraged.

"Campus Police at my college."

"I am from a small town in Forks. I know the Chief of Police, I will see if I can get something done. That is ridiculous," I said.

"Do you think he can?"

If Charlie can't do something about this Edward will. But I don't need to give her false hope.

"I don't know," I said, looking her in the eyes. "I will try."

"Okay. Well, we are all here for you Lucy, and Sisi if you need anything to help with the investigation just let us know. Who is next?"

"I'd like to share," said a redhead. "Hi I am Kaitlyn, and I have a huge problem. We are having a family reunion in three weeks up in Vancouver, and he is going to be there. I so don't want to go, but I don't know how to not disappoint my mother."

"Who is he?" I asked.

"My Uncle," she said.

"Do you feel he will hurt you?" asked Anna.

"No, but I don't want to be in the same room with him."

"Is there a way to get out of it?" asked Ally.

"I can't think of anything?"

"Can I say something," I said.

"Sure," said Anna.

"What is your biggest fear if you out your uncle?" I asked.

"You mean tell my family what he did? Die of humiliation. They could never talk to me."

"Why?"

"What if they thought I played a part in it?"

"Wouldn't it be nice if they killed him for touching you?" I asked.

She nodded, tears in her eyes.

"Have they done anything to make you think they don't value your safety and love you?"

She shook her head.

"Who do you think would kill him quicker? Your dad or your mom?"

"My mom."

"Call her," I said.

She looked to Ana, asking for permission. Ana nodded eagerly. Katlyn took out her phone and typed her mom's phone number.

"Mom hi, can you talk?...I feel really uncomfortable going on the trip with Uncle Stuart….Well…" She looked at me.

I smiled and mouthed, "we are all here for you."

"When I was little he would hug and kiss me, but then he would touch my breast and play with me and it scared me. And I know I am a big girl now but I think he wants to do it again and I don't want to go on the trip with him….He said it was our little secret….I am at a domestic violence and rape support group….Yeah there are a lot of girls here…..There is a modulator here, and there is a counselor here."

Wait, was she talking about me?

"Yeah," she handed the phone to me.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" I asked.

"Just talk to her," said Katlyn.

"What is your last name?"

"Garner," she said, throwing me the phone.

I caught it, and put the phone up to my ear, "Hello Ms. Garner, my name is Serina Ricci."

"Are you Kate's therapist?"

"No ma'am but I am a therapist. I run a practice in Forks, Washington. It is a small town by the coast."

"Are you the facilitator?"

"No, we have a facilitator. I can give you over to her."

"What does your facilitator do for a living?"

"Hang on. Anna what do you do for a living?"

"Secretary for a business manager."

"She is a secretary at a business in Port Angeles," I said to the phone.

"I'd rather talk to you. How do I arrest the bastard?"

"Well, I am from Italy, but I would imagine, you would call the police and file a report."

"And they will pick him up?"

"They should."

"What does she need?"

"People tend to blame the victim, saying they lead the perp on or left themselves vulnerable. She needs to know that what happened to her was out of her control, and he is the one to blame. Also, we proud ourselves on not being victims but survivors meaning we are the masters of our own fates, and just because we are knocked down, does not mean that we can't get back up. Now that you know you will want to know everything, remember that this is shameful and embarrassing, and it will take a long time before she talks."

"Should she see a psychiatrist or a shrink?"

"Well, that is really up to her. If you drag her there and she says nothing, you are wasting your money. The same thing happened to me, and I have responded better to support groups than individual therapists. As for medicine, many psychosis, like PTSD and depression are common, and medicine would help. I would call and talk to see if her mood is shifting and we all keep tabs on each other. But again it is ultimately her choice. You don't want to spend money on meds for her to flush down the toilet."

"Do meds help?"

"They can. It depends on the situation. If you treat them like a miracle, you will be disappointed. I am not on medicine."

"Okay."

"I will hand you back to your daughter," I said, and handed the phone to Katlyn.

Katlyn grabbed the phone, and picked up her purse. "I am going to go deal with this," she said.

We nodded, and she walked out of the room.

"Mom, stop crying," she said on the phone.

"Whose next?" ask Anna.

Another girl raised her hand.


	35. Chapter 35

I got into the car with Jasper, and he slowly backed out of the parking space, and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Alice texted me," he said. "She has ordered that I feed you. I am guessing she doesn't mean O negative."

I laughed.

"There is a restaurant the girls talk about called Fairmount. It should be close by."

We cruised down 101 until we found it. Jasper parked, and we walked in. It was a little diner, but it was packed. I remembered that Jasper was not good with a lot of humans.

"Is this okay?" I asked. "We can get like Taco Bell."

"No," he said. "I am fine."

We headed into the restaurant and Jasper walked right up to the hostess.

"Cullen for two," he said, slipping her a twenty.

"Right this way Mr. Cullen," she said, and led us to the back.

We sat at the table, and she asked to get our drink orders.

"Two waters," I said before Jasper could object.

She nodded and took off.

"I can't eat," he said.

"Does Edward not share notes! You order something, I order something. I eat half of both and we get boxes. That is less weird than you not being hungry at eight thirty at night."

"Okay what do I want?"

"You're a teenage guy, pick any burger on the menu."

"Bacon Cheeseburger?"

"Yep. And fries."

"What are you getting?"

"The grilled chicken salad."

"Can you eat all of that?"

"I am a werewolf, remember?"

The waitress came back . "So have y'all decided yet?"

"I think I will have the bacon cheeseburger if you please," said Jasper.

"And I'll have a grilled chicken salad," I added.

"Both delicious," she said, grabbing our menus. "I'll bring that right out."

"Hey what time is it?" I asked Jasper.

"8:45."

"I need to make a phone call," I said, "before it gets too late."

"Okay," he said.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Bella. On the second ring she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Bella it Serinna, are you home?"

"Yeah."

"I need to talk to your father, it's urgent."

"I am not doing anything," she whined.

"It's not about you," I said, laughing. "It's about me. I am not breaking confidentiality."

"Hang on, Dad!" she yelled.

I waited a minute.

"Hello," said Charlie in a gruff voice.

"Hi, Charlie. Sorry to bother you, but I promised a friend I would check in on this. I go to a group for rape and domestic violence survivors, and one of the girls got accosted on campus. She can identify the man and told campus police, but they did not do anything. What can she do?"

"Where did this happen?"

"Peninsula Campus."

"Peninsula that is in Port Angeles. Okay, I will see if I can get something done about it. Its not my jurisdiction, but I know people there. The cops on campus report to the cops in the city. Is this Bella's friend?"

"No sir, my friend."

"How did y'all meet?"

I swallowed. "We are in a support group."

There was silence on the other end. "Is there anything you need me to do for you, kiddo?"

"No. The man who hurt me is not in the states."

"Well, if they get over her. Tell me and I'll shoot'em."

I laughed. "I'll do that. Thanks Charlie."

"Is Bella okay?"

"Yes sir."

"Alright. I'll get on it." said Charlie. "It's late, are you out alone?"

"No Jasper and I are eating dinner. Carlisle does not like it when I go out alone."

"Yeah, there are a lot of nuts out there."

"Yeah," I said, trying not to think of Alex. "Good night, and thank you in advance for all the help."

"Of course," he said, and he hung up.

"So the police are not helping one of the girls."

"Yeah, they said because she is dating the man who raped her it was consensual."

"That's ridiculous," he said.

"I agree," I said.

The waitress brought our drinks, and we ordered.

"Anything else happen tonight?" asked Jasper.

"Well, I got roped into helping a girl talk to her mother. Apparently her uncle hurt her as a child, but she never said anything. I told the mom how to get the uncle arrested and help her daughter."

"That was very nice of you," said Jasper.

"Yeah," I said.

"Is it helping?" he asked.

"Is what helping?"

"The group."

"Oh. um, everyone has such a unique background it is clear that they all get it."

"Comradery."

"Also, I feel like I can tell them so much of what Caius did that it is like I can focus more on being a better therapist for you guys."

"How so?"

"Well take Rose for example. If she talked to me about Royce, I would have been right there being the victim with her. But now that I have my own outlet where I can talk about what happened to me, I can say to Rose what helped me, and what hurt me, and let her pick and choose based on how she is doing. And that is what a real therapist does? They sympathize and guide you out. They don't get swallowed in their own self pity."

"You don't take me as someone who gets swallowed in her own self pity, Sisi."

"Oh, you don't know the depth of my depravity. Shall we go?"

"Sure," said Jasper.


	36. Chapter 36

Sue was sitting across from me in the therapy room. She had folded her hands neatly on her lap, and she looked at me with bright, clear eyes. However, she had not spoken a word after the pleasantries. I knew I needed to not push her, but wait patiently for her to talk. So I sat there, and sipped on my morning black coffee.

"I didn't know you could eat?" she finally said.

"Perks of being a hybrid, I guess," I answered.

"Do you know who your father is?"

I smiled. "I believe we are here to talk about you," I said.

Sue sighed. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Is to supposed to be this unbearable?" she whispered.

"What is it doing to you?"

"I can't cook for my children anymore. Leah has stepped up and helped with that. I don't even know how to talk to my kids. Leah and I fight, Seth just watches without taking sides. I have to go to work to keep up with the income, but they need me too. I don't know what to do," she said.

I leaned in. "Sue what you are describing is this feeling of being overwhelmed without having Harry, and that feeling is real, but it is not what you need to talk about. The life of being a single parent is not unbearable as you put it, as much as the reason why your in that way. Does that make sense?"

"You think I am trying to do all the work so I don't feel anything about Harry?"

I nodded.

She sighed. "I suppose you are right. The first few days after Harry died, I just laid in bed. But then I realized that Leah was doing all the cooking and Seth was mowing the lawn. So I got up, went back to work, started making their food, and cleaning house, then all of a sudden I felt better. Like I went from being in extreme pain to being happy overnight because I was taking care of everyone."

"Its good to get active, but I don't want you feeling numb. You need to remember what it was like to feel happy, sad, angry, all of the emotions."

"What if they become overwhelming?"

"What do you do when feelings overwhelm you?

"Cry in the bed, mainly. Sometimes I am so tired that I can't move."

"Okay. There are two types of dispositions that you can be having. I need you to help me figure out which so I can best help you."

"Okay."

"You are clearly mourning Harry. Do you feel guilty about mourning him?"

She sighed. "Do I feel guilty?... No not really."

"Okay. Do you feel worthless?"

She shook her head.

"Is it difficult to do daily activities, like cook or put on your clothes?"

"No."

"Can you see or hear something that others can't?"

She laughed. "No I am not hallucinating."

"Do you want to join Harry?" 

"What do you mean? Do I want to die?"

I nodded.

"No! Who would take care of Seth and Leah? I mean I wish that Harry would be here with us, but no I am not going to hurt myself to go see him."

"Do you blame someone for Harry's death?"

"The bloodsucker that killed him!"

My eyes and smiled. That was the first passionate thing she said the whole session.

"Okay, so you are angry. Do you want to hurt the vampire?"

"Yes, but I can't and I do not want anyone near her, but no one is going to listen to me."

"Does that frustrate you?"

"That Sam won't listen to me? Yes it frustrates me, but I can get Billy to listen to me."

"Do you feel like Seth and Leia listen to you?"

She sighed. "Seth, yes he is very obedient. But Leah is eighteen. She was ready to move out after high school, and it is very possible that she will move out soon. We but heads a lot."

"That is what happens with children."

"Yes, but it is so soon after Harry died. I want her to stay more, so its not just me in that old house all of the time."

"Have you told her that?"

"No. I know that is stupid. She deserves a life of her own. I know that it is hard for her to be here. If Sam lets her off the land one day, I think she should go have an adventure she always wanted."

"Maybe you can tell her that you want her to be free, but you are worried that you will be lonely. She will understand that, and maybe come up with an arrangement."

"Like what?"

"Come visit for two weeks every three months. Also, there is a new thing called Skype that can help where you can see each other face to face and talk on the computer."

"How much is it?"

"It's free. There are some bugs, but if Leah stays home a year then leaves, the technology will improve. My mom and I Skype all the time."

"Family dinner on Thursday Night," Sue mused. "Leah might do that."

"Exactly."

Sue nodded. "We can do that once June rolls around. I know Leah wants to go. Maybe if we got Sam to release her from the pack for a week, she can go have an adventure."

"Baby steps." I looked at the time, and saw that our hour was up. "Lets stop here. Tr4y one of the ideas, and tell me how it works next week."

"Okay," she said. "I was scarred this week and last week that it would be bad to talk to a vampire, but I feel so at peace talking to you."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "That is what I want to hear."


	37. Chapter 37

Authors Note: This is written under the impression that Paul has not imprinted yet. This book takes place in May and he imprints in July, I think correct me if I am wrong. Also, I don't know what Paul's mom's job was so i made her an ER nurse.

Paul arrived at exactly twelve o'clock, stiffly coming through the door as the alpha order carried him in.

"Hello Paul," I said.

He stared at me blankly. He was as uncomfortable as last time, being on vampires land, talking to a hybrid about his emotions. Last time, Sam came and practically dragged the words out of Paul, which were still not that many. So this time I thought that we would do something a little differently.

"Pizza will be here any minute," I said.

"What?" he said in shock.

"Yeah I thought we could have lunch and talk. But it is a secret. I can't feed everyone," I said laughing.

"What kind did you get?"

"I took a bet and got a large everything for you, and a medium cheese for me."

The doorbell rang.

"That the pizza."

"How much do I owe you?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said. "I am using Carlisle's money." I went and paid for the pizza's and grabbed them. When I came back, Paul had set the table and grabbed some cokes, Seth had introduced me to Coca Cola. I put the pizza boxes in the middle and grabbed a slice of the cheese, setting it on my plate. I picked up a fork and knife and started cutting the pizza at the tip.

"You use a fork and knife?" scoffed Paul.

"Yes," I said. "That is how we do it in Italy. How do you eat it?"

Paul picked up his pizza, folded it lengthwise, and stuffed it in his mouth, taking a huge bite.

"How uncivilized," I commented.

Paul laughed.

I took a sip of my Coca-Cola. I could get used to this, but we had work to do.

"Shall we begin?" I asked.

"Fine," huffed Paul.

"You came back," I observed.

"Sam alpha ordered me to."

"So you are here against your will."

"Yeah."

"Is it because this is Cullens land, and I am a hybrid?"

Paul took a bite and swallowed, thinking. "It was at first. But I am in two groups and seeing you once a week, so I got used to that quickly. Now it's just…"

"What?"

"Well, I bet when Billy called you he said that we all were angry because we all had something to work on. You know, Sam had a shit life, Leah's dad died, Jacob might lose his best friend to a vampire, so yeah none of them can adjust. But, why is it hard on me? Why do I have all of the anger anyway? I should be okay."

"So what you are saying is since you do not have the struggles of say Sam, Leah, or Jacob, you should be better adjusted."

"Yeah."

I sighed. "Should is a judgmental word. It tells you that you are not living up to your own standard. The world has enough standards on you, don't add to it. What you are doing is comparing your struggles to others and saying since yours is presumably less you should be fine. That is not fair to you.

"Rosalie and I died the same way. She has found love and can express herself with Emmett. I can't stand men. If I went around and berated myself and said I should heal myself and go date a guy, I will force myself into uncomfortable situations. Healing comes in stages and you can't rush it."

"Okay, but I don't even know what I need to be healed from. I don't know why I have problems, I just do. At least Sam can say he's angry at his Dad, and Jacob is mad that Bella rejected him, and Leah lost her dad because of something stupid she did. Why am I angry?"

"Okay, let's explore that. Let's look at your life and see some of the basic hurts. You told me that your parents divorced when you were young, how old were you?"

"Eight."

"What do you know about what happened?"

"My mom cheated on my dad, and he filed for divorce. She did not want custody of me, so he got full custody, and he took me here to La Push."

"How do you know she did not want custody of you?"

"I overheard my dad talking to Billy one time."

"When?"

"I was about eleven."

"So what did they tell you before you were eleven?"

"She was an ER nurse like Sue. They told me between her shifts and my school I couldn't see her often."

"How did that make you feel?"

"How do you think?!" he shouted.

His anger did not phase me. "I would be angry and hurt."

"Yeah!" he said getting up to put the plate in the sink. Also, he washed his hands. I let him walk away a little and try to gain control over his thoughts. This was a painful session for him, and we did not know each other that well. He probably did not realize that I was not trying to hurt him.

I watched him intently as he cleaned the dish meticulously, and soon I noticed that his shoulders were moving up and down rapidly. From the intensity of the shaking, I did not think that he was going to phase, because they were not going fast enough. I suspected that he was crying but was unsure until a sob broke through the silence.

"Paul, why are you crying?"

"I am not crying!"

He sniffed a little bit, and kept washing the dishes. I sat where I was, knowing if he moved, he must turn around and face me. Sometimes silence speakers louder than words. When he was done with the last of the dishes and drained the sink, he turned around and I saw his face. His eyes were bloodshot, there were tear stains down his cheeks, and his nose was runny.

"Paul, come sit with me in the therapy room."

Paul followed me to the room, as I sat in my chair, and he sat on the couch. He folded his arms, and then rubbed his eyes, as if to dry them. I sat patiently.

"What?" he snapped.

"I am waiting for you to tell me why you are crying." 

"Because my own damn mother does not love me!"

I closed my eyes. I experienced the same hurt with my father. "Alright there are two options. One, you are unworthy of love. Or two, she is full of shit."

"How do I know which one?"

"Do other people love you?"

He nodded.

"Who?"

"My dad. The Pack. Billy. Sue. Harry did."

"Then wouldn't it follow that your mother is full of shit?"

He smiled. "Maybe."

"I know it hurts that she does not want to be a part of your life. But that is a reflection on her not a reflection on you."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "I guess that makes it a little better."

"That is the goal Paul. I can't fix what makes you angry, but we can talk about it and make it a little better."


	38. Chapter 38

I was trying to figure out what I wanted on top of pizza for lunch when my phone started ringing. I looked at the number, and saw that it was Seth.

"Hey man what's up?"

"Want to spar?" asked Seth eagerly.

I laughed. "Be there in fifteen."

I hung up and texted Edward, "Going to hang with the wolves, and maybe get beat up. Don't wait up! :)"

"I will see you there," answered Edward.

"I'm a big girl!" I texted back.

"Me or Alice, pick!"

"Alice!"

"You need me to translate for the pack," he said.

"Fine you can both come."

Just then my doorbell rang, and of course, Alice was there wearing dark leggings, a white dress, and a jean jacket.

"Thanks for letting me come," she chimed.

"This protection is overkill," I said.

She shrugged.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and said, "Come on, let's go start a fight!"

When we got to the clearing, I saw that the whole pack was here, all circled around Sam and Quil who had already started sparing. When we got closer, I saw that Quil was quick and wiry, but Sam had muscle and was more attuned to his wolf body. Where Quil hesitated, Sam pounced. By the time we got to the clearing, Sam had Quil on his back pinned.

"Well done, Sam," I said coming into the circle. "Quil, you are a wolf when you are in that body, don't be afraid to use your instincts. You're second guessing yourself, and as you can see that cost you."

Sam let Quil up, and Quil nodded to me. I smiled at him. I know why it was scary for the boys to use their wolf nature, it makes them think they are less human. But they need to accept that they are wolves.

I threw my jacket on the ground, and walked into the circle of wolves.

"Anyone up for a fight?" I asked.

"Are you crazy?" hissed Alice.

I looked around the circle and wondered if anyone was going to go up against a hybrid in transition. I was eating a lot, and was gaining weight, and I felt really pumped all of a sudden, like I was unstoppable. I locked eyes with Sam, but he huffed and looked away like he was not looking for a fight. Just when I thought they were going to let me down, Jacob Black stepped through and stood across the center directly across from me.

"Ephraim's heir," I whispered.

He nodded hearing me. I was a Levi, technically, but I could take him. Easily.

I nodded at him, starting the spar. At first neither of us did anything. Then he moved to the left, and I countered. I turned with him as he walked around me in a circle looking for an opening I was determined not to give him. Once he reached his starting point, he turned back, retracing his steps. I kept my guard up. I knew better than to lunge at him, because it would give him the advantage.

Finally, he attacked me head on and snarled. He bounded toward me and I bounded towards him. Timing it just right, I vaulted over him, while he leapt up and snapped at my toes. Rolling to safety, I sprung to my feet and ran up behind him. Before he could turn around, I clambered onto his back reaching one hand around his neck, and wrapping the other around his waist. He tried to buck me off, but I dug my heels into his flanks securing my position.

"Yield," I said.

He snarled, and trashed, but I stayed secured and tightened my grip around his neck and torso.

"Jacob, you have done well," I yelled, "now yield!"

He suddenly stilled under my body, and I looked to see that Sam was now standing on all fours coming towards us. I unwrapped my arms and slid off of Jacob, glad that the fight was over.

Edward came closer to us, to translate for the pack.

"You are the fastest they have ever seen," Edward said.

"Hybrid," I answered sullenly.

"How did you learn to fight werewolves like that?" asked Sam through Edward.

"Well, I have always had a knack for it. When the treaty was being made between the Qualities and the Cullens, I hung around, and Eprium, Quil, Levi, and me all spared, so I guess I learned how to fight."

Seth bounded up to us with Brady and Collin on his tail, all in human form wearing shorts.

"Woah, that was so cool," said Seth.

"Can you teach us that, Sisi?" asked Brady.

"Yeah guys," I said. My stomach lurched. I threw my hand out to steady myself, and Edward's hand was there to hold onto. I stared at the forest floor and it swirled.

"You okay?" asked Edward.

I ignored him. Not on purpose, but because I was trying not to throw up. As the forest floor started spinning, I felt my blood pounding in my ears.

"Edward," I said. "Edward! Take me home!"

"Your fever's worse. This was too exerting," said Edward, very calm and scientific. "Do you need me to carry you home?"

"Edward!" came Alice's panicky voice.

"What do you mean you can't see her future?!" demanded Edward.

"I'm dying," I thought. "I'm going to die."

The panic made my heart race. Tears poured from my eyes. Something made me lurch again. I felt my hand leave the cool touch of Edward.

"I'm dying!" I thought.

My feet moved me deeper and deeper into the forest. Suddenly they went faster and faster until I was running.

"Serina!" called Edward.

"We need to take you to Carlisle!" yelled Alice.

I ran faster and faster until suddenly the fever shot down my spine, and my body convulsed. I landed on all fours and a howl shot out through the woods.


	39. Chapter 39

The damn forest all looks the same. I could tell where I was if I was on a road. I needed to get to civilization. Okay, that clearing is on the West side of the Olympic National Park so I needed to go farther west to get to people.

The only problem is that I don't know which way is freaking west!

"_I am surprised you have figured out this much."_

"_Sam!"_

"_Stay where you are. We're two miles south of you. You run fast."_

"_NO!"_

"_Serina, I am trying to help you."_

"_I am not a freaking werewolf!"_

"_What's wrong with being a werewolf?" _came a young voice, which I recognized as Seth's thoughts.

"_Honey, there is nothing wrong with being a werewolf. I am clearly in shock. I just need to get away."_

"_You need to be around your pack," _said Sam.

"_I don't have a pack. I am a hybrid. You owe me nothing."_ I said.

"_Bitch no!" _said Leah._ "You mean I am finally not the only girl, and you're going to just abandon us anyway. Come on!"_

"_Leah, I don't want to be a werewolf."_

"_Honey," _said Embery,_ "if this pack consisted of people who wanted to be werewolves, this pack would consist of Seth and Quil."_

I laughed and climbed up on a rock, and waited for the pack, my pack come and find me. Why they were coming I tried to think of a way to fix this. Soon they started materializing out of the trees. I got off the rock and walked towards them.

"_Well, I'll just get Carlisle to bite me tomorrow and then I will be a vampire by this weekend," _I said proudly.

"_Oh, so we're okay to treat, but God forbid to hang out with us!" _screamed Paul.

"_No, Paul," _I said. _"Don't equate me to your dad."_

"_WHAT?!" _screamed Paul. He lunged at me, teeth bared, ready to fight.

I ducked and bit at his chest hard enough to draw blood. He howled at the attack and retreated.

"_Damn girl," _commented Quil.

"_Get him," _said Leah.

Suddenly a black wolf, Sam, came up and stood on a fallen log. _"Enough! Both of you!"_

A fog came over my brain, and all of the fight drained out of me. Through the wolf connection, I felt all of the fight drain out of Paul as well.

"_We have accepted that there are no secrets in this pack," _said Sam, _"now with Serina a part of the pack, that means our sessions will be more accessible. She was being intuitive, Paul. She wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable."_

"_Sorry,"_ mumbled Paul.

"_Please, believe it was an accident," _I begged him.

"_I believe you,"_ said Paul.

"_Serina is one of us now_," continued Sam._ "A full member. She is going to be treated as such. Serina, we tend to eat, fight, talk, then kill vampires, in that order."_

"_I'll try to do my part,"_ I said.

"_Is it going to bother you to kill vampires?"_ asked Seth.

I smiled. _"No honey. I do not have a great relationship with humans, but I realize that they have a right to life. I will be honored to help protect them. As long as we don't kill Carlisle, I will be fine." _I looked at Sam. _"We don't kill Carlisle, right?"_

Sam breathed deep. _"I don't know what you know. But Bella has her heart set on being a vampire. If the Cullens breaks the treaty, they may force my hand."_

"_And what is expected of me, if they force your hand?"_

"_You're the hybrid, what do you suggest?"_

"_The Cullens leave, with Bella in tow, never to return to the region for pain of death."_

"_But they still bite a human. On principle, I should kill them."_

I huffed._ "It's better to live a good man, then die on principle. Die for flesh and blood, the treaty is a peace of paper."_

"_Do you really think we would die?"_

"_Yes. Even if I helped, many would die."_

"_Would you help?"_

"_No," I said. "I am loyal to the pack, but I will not kill over a piece of paper. There has been enough killing."_

"_How will you fight me if I alpha order you?"_

"_You are not a true Alpha. There is a way to resist your order. It is painful, and I have no reason to try unless your order is unjust, but you do not have unilateral control over me."_

"_What?" asked Leah._

"_There is a way to resist an alpha order?" asked Jacob._

"_Yes. Of course. Hasn't Billy taught you this?"_

"_No!" They all cried._

"_The alpha order was made by the spirits to keep the pack unified under one leader. But, that leader is susceptible to failure, greed, error, stupidity, just like everyone else. And when there is a young pack like this one, I mean Sam, the oldest, is 19, that greed, error, and stupidity intensifies. So there is a failsafe in every alpha order. If our ancestors judge it as best, it can't be broken, but if it is unjust or worst dangerous, the ancestors guide a wolf to break the alpha order, thus freeing the pack from the outcome of the decision."_

"_So if I make a mistake," asked Sam, "they can override me?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Thank God!"_

"_It is very disrespectful to go against your alpha, and the spirits test your resolve by making the process physically painful and emotional, so no one ever does it unless it the hill they want to die on. But it can be done."_

"_When was the last time it was done?"_

"_In this tribe? I think four generations ago."_

"_Really?" asked Seth._

"_What happened?" asked Leah._

"_During the formation of the treaty, Ephriam told his pack not to have any contact with the Cullens. Levi broke the rules."_

"_Why?"_

"_He and I were in love."_


	40. Chapter 40

"_What?!" _screamed Paul.

"_Start from the beginning," _said Sam, and it came out as a threat.

"_Don't order me around, pup!" _I growled. Sighing, I said,_ "There is not much to tell. Carlisle called me to help with the treaty because of my way with wolves. Levi and I were instant friends. We were close…"_

"_Gross you liked him!" _wailed Quil.

"_Grow up! Nothing came of it! Sometimes we hold hands on the beach, and talk about stories from our histories. That is the extent of it! The relationship troubled the Cullens and the Pack, and my mother for that matter, but for different reasons, and they never let it progress. Anyway, he imprinted and that was the end of it!"_

I tried to conceal the pain I felt when Levi fell for another woman, but the pack heard me. Most of them bristled away from my feelings for a wolf, but Leah extended sympathy in her mind, showing a picture of Sam and Emily, with her emotions about it. I nodded glad she understood.

"_Why was your mother against it?"_ asked Sam.

I grimaced. How do you explain this?_ "She foresaw complications if our relationship progressed."_

"_What the hell?" _asked Jacob, confused.

"_She told me sex would be difficult, idiot!" _I screamed. _"Vampire, werewolf. Were not exactly physically compatible. Even if I am a hybrid."_

"_Whoa!" _said Jared.

"_That is disgusting!" _said Paul.

"_Okay. Ew," _said Quil._ "TMI alert."_

"_Wait, you wanted to have sex with him?" _asked Seth.

"_Oh grow up!"_ I growled. _"I didn't draw a diagram."_

"_Please don't," _said Sam.

I turned to Leah._ "Are all of them children?"_

"_Yeah, pretty much," _she said.

I snorted. I looked at the pack and they all looked at me with horrified looks. _"Okay, let's get something straight. Sex between a vampire, a human, or a werewolf is not sick. It's just complicated. Okay. You are all werewolves, and half of you are sleeping with a human. I don't think that's wrong. It's no different here. As long as you can be smart about it, it's no one's business."_

"_We have to sleep with humans," _argued Paul._ "There are our imprints."_

"_How do you think it makes them feel? To know you spend half of your time in this form?"_

Paul took a step back and looked at Sam for guidance.

"_I never thought about it," _he said.

"_Right, 'cause there is nothing to it. Sex is about two people loving each other. Its not about whether one is human or a vampire or a werewolf. It's not about preserving the pack, or creating an army, which is why Aro had me, or so I thought. True sex is about love and passion. You can have that with anyone."_

"_So why couldn't you and Levi be together?" _asked Seth.

"_Besides the fact that my mom is Catholic and would have my neck? We did not know who my father was. My mom was positive it wasn't Aro. If my father was a human, I could have gotten pregnant and that would have been bad news for everyone. Imagine half werewolf, quarter vampire, quarter human toddler running around the twentieth century. Lots of people would die. The Vouluri would kill us for sure."_

"_Then he imprinted on a girl anyway," _said Leah.

"_Yeah," _I said, wistfully. _"He told me like a gentleman, and I got to know that it was an imprint and he did not do it on purpose, which I think helped a little bit. But when we parted, or broke up, in the 21st Century, I couldn't be around him. I left."_

"_Why didn't you transition into a werewolf and be with him?"_ asked Quil.

"_Didn't know that I could. Also, don't think it would have made a difference. Leah and Sam were together for four years, and he did not imprint on her. You have to be around a certain someone. Levi had been around me for three years. If he did not imprint on me, transitioning into a werewolf would not have saved us."_

Quil nodded.

"_So you have run a little in this body," _said Sam. _"Want to try phasing out?"_

"_Phasing out?"_

"_Transitioning back to human form,"_ he clarified.

"_Um, okay," _I said, wearily.

"_Sam, she doesn't have any clothes," _said Embery.

"_Wait a minute," _said Leah, and she took off, heading east. _"She is a little smaller than me, so my clothes should fit her fine."_

Through Leah's eyes, I saw where she ran to a specific log hollowed out, and stuck her face inside to grab a bright red backpack by her teeth. Then she ran back to us.

"Come on," she said to me, and I followed her to a more secluded part of the forest. "You ran a long way. The forest is deep. We can phase out here without the boys seeing. Eventually you will see them, and they will see you, but privacy is essential while you are getting used to this."

I nodded.

"Alright," said Sam, "to phase out, all you have to do is relax in such a way that your body starts to feel human, and then you will start to shift. It's hard to explain but it is not hard to do."

"Biofeedback," I said.

"Huh?" asked Quil.

"What you do is control your breathing to release the tension in your body and your body responds by relaxing and calming down. We do it in therapy all the time. I ought to do it in a group with yall."

"Okay, whatever, just do it," huffed Leah.

I smiled, and started the process. Slowly, I felt my body melt from one form to another. This wasn't hot anger, this felt like taking a warm shower. It felt good and relaxing. I looked around and saw Leah in wolf form, but I could no longer hear her thoughts. Looking down, I saw my fingers clawing at the soft earth. I was human.

I found the red backpack, and saw that Leah thought of everything, even a comb. I got dressed in some jean shorts that were a size too big, and pulled the sports bra and a gray tank top that fit perfectly. Then, I threw on the black converse. Finally, I brushed my hair with the comb. Finally human, I went back to join Leah, bringing the backpack with me.

Leah sized me up. "They're a little big, but they'll do."

"I used your comb," I said, sheepishly.

She took a deep breath. "Normally I will be mad, and you can't once you get your own stuff out here. But today, I got a pack sister, so I'm happy," she said, and drew me in for a hug.

"Oh God, they're hugging," said Jared.

"Shut up!" Leah and I said at the same time, ending the embrace.

Sam came into view in his human form. "How do you feel?"

"A little woozy," I said.

"We should get you to Carlisle."

I nodded.

Paul came up beside me and then Jacob, Quil, and Embery came with him.

Upon seeing Paul, my mind flashed to that break in confidentiality. "Look guys," I said. "There is no way I can keep up with confidentiality, so I need to tell Carlisle that I should resign."

"What?" said Seth.

"No!" said Quil.

"Bella likes you. She actually likes being human," said Jacob.

"I just got upset," said Paul. "No big deal."

"Well how can I do this?" I asked Sam.

"We will come up with something. Right now we need to get you to Carlisle, so he can make sure everything is okay?" he said, and held out his hand.

I grabbed his hand, and went to take a step, but then my head started pounding, and succumbed to the darkness.


	41. Chapter 41

When I woke up, I could smell the scent of freshly baked cookies, which is a pleasant scent to wake up to. I opened my eyes and saw an indigo blanket on me. I was in a small twin bed, with a dark wash wooden headboard. There was a dream catcher hanging on the opposite wall, and it was beautiful. One the nightstand by me, there was a medium sized bowl with water and a washcloth, a thermometer, and my phone.

I looked at my phone. The first thing I noticed was that it was Saturday, June third. The last thing I remembered was Wednesday, May thirty-first. What the hell happened? The next thing I saw was my mom had called in the morning around seven, and in the evening around eight every day for the last three days. The weird thing was it hadn't gone to voicemail, someone had picked up and talked to her. Then It finally hit me, that I only made it halfway through my week, and I left eleven sessions completely unaccounted for.

I sighed and just dialed Carlisle's number.

"You're up!" he said.

"Is everyone okay?" I said. "People are supposed to get worksheets back to me. I have to get treatment plans ready for people. Groups went without meeting. God, I just ruined the whole thing before it started."

I was crying by the time I finished my rant, and I was so angry with myself I started to shake.

"Serinna, where are you?"

"I don't even know!" I shouted. "Someone is baking cookies, and I am in this really pretty bedroom, in bed."

"All right you are still at Emily's," he said. "Stay in bed. I can't figure out why you had a seizure, I want to do a test before I release you, and then we can figure everything out."

"Bella is going to jump off a cliff, then Edward is going to get Jacob to snap his neck, then Sam is going to start cutting himself, then Leah is going to do something, and-"

"'As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.'"

"Maya Angelou."

"Yes. We have to take care of you first, and then we can get all of the others taken care of, okay?"

"Okay."

"Listen, Sam can alpha order the pack to be calm for the next couple of days, and we can look after Bella and Edward. I don't even want you to think about sessions for a while."

"Okay."

"Now call your mother. She is worried sick."

"Okay."

I hung up the phone and dialed my mom. Of course, she picked up on the first ring.

"Bambino!"

"Hi Mom."

"Carlisle told me that you changed and then you had a seizure, I was so scared. Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah. I woke up in one of my clients girlfriend's bedroom in La Push, and I called Carlislie. He is on his way to check on me."

"So you were asleep for three days!"

"Yeah."

"How do you feel?"

"I have a headache and I feel really sore, but I think I am okay."

"What happened?"

"We were sparring, and I overexerted myself, and it just raised my blood pressure up enough to change."

"Why were you sparing?"

"For fun."

"You are so much like your father."

I sighed. "Why did you keep it a secret?"

"If Volturi knew, you would have been killed on the spot."

"Is that why you gave me to them when I was so young, so I wouldn't phase."

She sobbed. "Yes. But I thought Aro would turn you, not Caius."

"So why didn't dad really come after us?"

"Think about it. A small pack versus the entire Volturi, and it was a rescue mission. You were Volturi, you know Caius, Aro, Jane and Demetri. If a pack of wolves showed up at your gate and were ready to fight to free some slaves, what would you do?"

I fought the answer long and hard, but I could not deny it. "Kill the slaves," I whispered.

"Exactly. So he did not do that."

"Mom, Levi can't be my father. I did the math. He was born in 1916, unless you slept with an eight year old."

My mom chuckled.

"Alright," she said. "I thought having some connection to the wolves around you would make you feel like a part of a pack. That is important you know for a werewolf to be a part of something."

"Just tell me who he is. Please!"

"I was a tracker for the Volturi. I found people who were breaking the law, and had them executed. There was a camp in the north, up in the wilderness of Alaska. A human had run there to escape judgement, and I was sent to track him and eliminate him. When I got there, wolves were protecting him. I went to attack, but suddenly they all retreated, and this one came up, and looked into my eyes."

"He imprinted on you."

"Yes," she said. "The rest of the story is true. We found a witch. I drank a potion. Became human for a time enough to have a child. You were born, half werewolf, half vampire, and when Volturi came for us, I just told Aro that you were his."

"Why all the lies?" I asked.

"Aro can read minds. He is trying to get Alice who can see the future. If he found out who you were, he would kill us all."


	42. Chapter 42

We all went outside, and we were greeted with this sicky scent of blood and vanilla. I looked around and saw that Edward's black Volvo, Carlisle's Black Mercedes and finally, Emmett's Jeep Rubicon were parked in Emily's driveway.

Paul came out and straight up phased into a massive silver werewolf, and started to growl at the intruders. Brady and Collin came out and did the same thing flanking him.

I was too overwhelmed to do anything. Were we being attacked? But Carlisle just came in and hugged me? Who are we anymore?

The rest of the pack came out of the house with Emily.

"Emily get inside," ordered Sam.

"Please," said Esme. "We mean you no harm. We haven't seen her in three days, she just changed her nature, we are scared, we mean you no harm."

Paul growled at them and looked like he was about to lunge.

"I can't see her future anymore," said Alice, the closest a vampire can come to tears. "I don't know if she is okay or hurt, and it is driving me crazy."

I walked down the steps and shakily maneuvered in between the werewolves and the vampires. "They did not come to break the treaty," I said. "In their minds, you're breaking the treaty. You have a vampire here and you are not calling them and telling them how I am doing. Apparently you haven't been telling my mother how I was doing either. So don't blame them for suddenly showing up. They are not here for blood, or land, or anything else. It was your job to tell my family how I was, and you didn't, so they showed up. You have no one to be angry at but yourself."

Paul growled, but Sam put his hand on him and he stood down. Also several of the boys formed up tight around Sam and Paul, but did not phase.

"I have seen so many of your kind act like barbarians," said Sam, "I forget that you can be civilized and act like a family. I'm sorry we let you worry. It didn't occur to me that your kind worries about one another. Serina, does your mother know that you are all right?"

"She does now," I said.

Sam nodded. "You are one of us. You will find difficulty living with the vampires."

"That's not true!" screamed Alice.

Jasper put a hand on her to reassure her.

"It's your decision, but you will need a pack," he said. "I'll let you deliberate."

They all went into Emily's house except Paul, who went into the woods and changed. When he came out he gave me a stare, like asking me why I would betray the pack so early.

"Go inside Paul," I said softly, "I need to talk to them."

He gave me a look of abandonment, and then went inside.

"The nerve of them," Alice fumed, "Saying you can't live with vampires."

I turned to Carlisle and smiled at him sadly. "What was your plan, exactly?"

"They haven't exactly been forthcoming about your health. They wont even pick up when your mother calls. I want to tend to you at our house, on our lands, with someone who knows what they're doing."

"If you haven't been tending to me, who has?" I asked.

"Sue Clearwater," he said.

"Well, she did an excellent job. I woke up hungry and lucid, you can't ask for much more. Furthermore, someone has been picking up when my mother calls. My mom has called twice a day for the last three days and someone has picked up to talk to her each time. If it wasn't you then I can assume it was one of the werewolves, an imprint, or a council member."

"You were going through a normal transition, they had her worried sick, telling her that you were coughing up blood and in a coma."

"Was I coughing up blood and in a coma?"

"Well yes, but-"

"But you wouldn't tell my mother that," I finished for him. "Perhaps she appreciates the honesty. Wouldn't you Esme, if something was wrong with one of your children, would you appreciate as much details as possible?"

Esme looked at Carlisle like she was betraying him and secretly apologized, and then she said, "Yes, I would want to know exactly what was going on."

Carlisle sighed, "They could have let me treat you!"

"How? You don't know enough about werewolves. Sue would have been the expert anyway. You would have been in the way." I grabbed his hand. "And what was your plan tonight? Barge in treaty be damned and move me against Sue's advice and take me to a house of vampires? Not a good plan."

"I think the only time I have been this scared is when Edward went to the Vultori."

I smiled softly. "Zio, no matter where I am you are still my father and my protector, but you can't protect me from this. None of you can. I am a werewolf, and I am going to have to learn to live as werewolves live, and you can't protect me from that."

He nodded. "I guess we will leave you be now, as long as you don't need anything."

"I don't," I said.

He hugged me. "Ti Amo, Serinna."

"Ti amo."

"Call us a lot," said Esme with tears in her eyes.

"Sure," I said.

"Kick ass, little wolf!" said Emmett.

I laughed and hugged him. "Yeah," I said.

"Take a bath," said Roselie. "You turned into a dog, then you had a fever for three days, you just need like a good bath."

"Are you calling me gross?"

"Yeah."

I laughed, and hugged her.

Alice came up bouncing, "Call me on a day off and we will go shopping, you grew like two inches in three days."

"Alice, I think we buy stuff at like Target so it doesn't matter if it rips."

"They have cute stuff at Target," she said, and hugged me.

"Okay now we definitely have to spar," said Jasper.

"Let me figure out what I am doing first," I said. "I've been a werewolf four days."

He grinned at me and we hugged.

"What are you going to tell Bella?" asked Edward.

"That if she doesn't take her meds the wrath of God is coming after her."

"Want me to tell her for you?"

"Yes but tell it in a way where she's not calling every five minutes. I have a life you know."

"Do you?"

"No."

"Guys if yall need sessions, I can make it work," I said.

"Nah, we'll be okay right guys?" asked Emmett, placing his arm on Rosalie.

"Oh," said Alice, "What about Bella? She cant be here, cause they are training a new wolf."

"We will look after her," said Edward.

"I don't need sessions, I need drugs," said Rose.

"Honey, vampires don't respond to drugs," I said.

"Of course we don't," she said.

"Well I am gong to have to play around with sessions anyway, because you know the whole wolf thing. How about this, if you feel like you can make it another week, then we go for next week, but if something comes up and you need to talk, we can figure something out, okay."

"Kay," said Alice.

"Sure," said Jasper.

"I'm gonna tell you right now you need to see Bella," said Edward.

"What's wrong with Bella?" I asked.

"What is right with Bella?" joked Quil.

"I know Bella's condition, that is none of your business by the way. I am just asking what we are concerned about."

"She told me three days ago, that if I don't bite her a month before her nineteenth birthday, she will go to someone who will."

I breathed in deep. "Who is she going to?"

"I don't know and Alice can't see it. She was born September 13, that means we have till August 13, which is two month and 11 days exactly."

"She can't break the treaty!" said Paul.

"I don't think she cares," I said. "Is she taking her meds?"

Edward shook her head.

"It would be considered suicide by the pack, the Cullens, and the human world. I can act on it. She has a plan, even though we don't know what it is, she has a date, does she have the means?"

"She has two first class tickets to Jacksonville, she can exchange them for anything she wants and use cash. She could get to the Volturi or whoever she wants."

"She's a risk," I said. "Where is she?"

"Her house. I got her grounded."

"Take me."


	43. Chapter 43

Sam had me run through the woods to Bella's house for practice. It was crazy seeing everything through the wolf eye again. Now that I knew what was happening I could focus. What I was focusing on was really clear, like in high definition, but better, and around what I was focused on was blurry because it all moved together like a kaleidoscope or something.

"_Feels weird, doesn't it?" _said Paul.

"_Yeah. I'm focused but I'm not."_

"_This is nothing, wait until you learn to fight. Your instincts take over and it's wild. So much better than a trip."_

"_And you would know because?"_

"_Okay, I did weed before,"_ he said.

I shook my head. _"I am not going to say anything."_

"_Paul's in trouble with the shrink!" _cried Leah.

"_No guys, we seriously need to talk about this. There are moments when I am your therapist and there are moments when I'm a pack mate, otherwise we can't keep doing this."_

"_No," _cried Collin, _"I liked playing Uno last week."_

"_You got to play Uno?"_ asked Paul.

"_Paul I bought you a pizza," _I said, _"shut up."_

"_Hey," _said Quill, _"how come I don't get a pizza?"_

"_Quill, you're not even in therapy. Remember, Billy and I decided that you were fine after that first intake appointment and if something came up and you needed to talk then I would move some things around."_

"_Still, I would like a pizza."_

"_Oh, my god."_

"_Okay so what is your plan for Bella?'' _asked Jacob.

"_Don't have one. Observe and assess. Make a plan as we go."_

"_That's it?"_

"_Yep. Can't do or determine anything till I talk to her."_

We came up to Bella's house, and I was wondering if I went through the front door, or sneak in through the back. I phased out and thankfully, it was dark outside enough so the pack couldn't see me naked. I put on some clothes and grabbed my phone.

"Where r u?" I texted Edward.

"Living room," he texted back.

I walked around the house and got ready to ring the doorbell.

"Don't ring just come in," texted Edward.

I walked into the house, and was that they were all gathered in the living room, Carlisle, Alice, Edward, Bella, and Charlie, I'm guessing.

"The p-" I started.

"Did Jacob and Sam bring you?" asked Edward a little sharply.

I looked at him and nodded.

"Can you get them? I'm sure they want to check on Bella."

I turned and walked out of the living room. "What the hell?" I texted Edward.

"Charlie doesn't know anything supernatural," he texted back.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the heads up."

"I did not foresee either of you ever needing to meet. Bella is eighteen."

"Whatever!"

I walked outside into the woods.

"How's Bella?" asked Jacob, now in human form.

"I don't know! Apparently we can't talk about werewolves and vampires in front of Charlie so this assessment just got DIFFICULT!"

"Can you still do it?" asked Sam.

"I need to talk to Bella without Charlie to make a clear assessment!"

"Well, that is going to be difficult," said Sam.

"Well, it needs to happen," I snapped. They can't tell me a kid is suicidal and then not let me do my job.

"Okay," said Sam. "There are a lot of people in the house so maybe we can get Charlie preoccupied."

"Where is Sue? Can't she preoccupy Charlie?"

"Dude," screamed Seth.

"You're pimping my mom?" screamed Leah.

"Not like that. Oh God. She's a nurse right, can't she get information? How long has Bella been off her meds? When did she start acting strange? Has Charlie noticed anything different about her? Is she sleeping? Is she eating? Basics I need to know."

"Oh," said Seth.

Leah took a deep breath and seemed to stop shaking.

"I didn't mean preoccupy, like _preoccupy,_" I said.

Jacob laughed, and Leah punched him.

"That's it!" I screamed. "Jacob, say your sorry!"

"Why do I have to-"

"Say it!"

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Leah, say your sorry and mean it!"

She didn't say anything for a minute, but then she muttered, "Sorry."

"Okay, tonight is about Bella, but I have been needing to say this for a while. I get this pack, I think. Most of you don't even want to be a werewolf. You're miserable, you're tired, you're lonely, and then you got a bunch of personal crap going on like dad's not showing up when they're supposed to or vampires trying to steal your girlfriend. So you take it out on each other. But seriously, tonight, you found out your friend did drugs and you complain about not getting pizza! Y'all don't care about each other. You're a mess. No one like Leah, Leah doesn't like anyone, everyone basically ignores the youngest three, and the rest of you six are good with each other as long as certain things never get mentioned. Is that about right?"

They all looked at each other and no one said anything.

"Yeah that's about right," mumbled Quil.

"How's that working for y'all?" I asked.

Again no one said anything.

"From my point of view, it doesn't look like it's working too well. All y'all do is fight and Sam is okay with it because he's trying to kill himself."

Sam shifted.

"Do you even want to get better? Wait no, I have a better question: Do you guys even think you need help? Cause I can just see Bella and the Cullens and have a lot more free time."

I stomped into Bella's house and let myself in, shutting the door behind me.


	44. Chapter 44

Warning: language in this one

Bella was on her couch sitting up. She had a blanket over her, and Edward was sitting by her trying to figure out how to keep her warm. Alice was sitting on the other side of her couch and their feet were touching. Charlie was in the recliner, and he was watching Bella like a hawk. Esme was in the kitchen cooking something for Bella to eat. It smelled like Italian wedding soup, and I hoped Bella ate a little bit of it, because that would really make her feel better.

I looked around for Rose, Jasper, and Emmett, but I could not see them.

"There watching the perimeter," said Edward so low Charlie could not even tell he talked, but I could hear him clearly. "They don't know how to help."

"They're being helpful," I whispered back.

"Hey babe," I said aloud and tickled Bella's feet. She slid it back and smiled. "Heard your feeling under the weather."

"Yeah," she sighed, and snuggled up towards Edward.

"What's going on? When we talked Monday you were laughing and joking around."

"I stopped taking my medicine," she said.

"Bells, you can't do that. You are on just enough where your body will miss it, and it's not letting your body adjust to it, so you go right back to feeling bad."

"But it was changing me already," she said. "I can feel it."

My phone buzzed and it was Seth, and I put it to voicemail.

"Honey, what is wrong if the medicine changes you?" I asked.

"Then I don't want to be with Edward anymore," she said.

"It's a miracle drug," said Charlie, from where he was sitting. He was trying to give us some space, but you could tell he was concerned.

Edward chuckled.

"So you mean that when you take the pill, you don't feel it's necessary to be a Cullen anymore."

She shook her head.

"Okay, what do you want to be?"

"I don't know. Anything I guess."

"Bella, if you're not a Cullen, then you get to find out who Bella is. You can go to school and fall in love with English, or you can go to your mom's and take a year off and travel. The possibilities are endless."

"But I won't be beautiful and perfect and scary."

"Scary?" asked Edward. "Bella, why do you want to be scary?"

"All my life I have been powerless. I can't stop my mom from getting into danger, I can't stop my dad from being shot at, I can't stop Jacob and Edward from fighting. If I was one of you, I could scare people. I want to be a monster."

"Bella," said Edward, "you don't know what you're saying. To want to be my kind because we can kill is like wanting to be a serial killer or something. This isn't you."

"I think we need to acknowledge that Bella does feel this way Edward, because to dismiss it would be to belittle her," I said. "But," I knelt down by the couch and grabbed Bella's hand. "I don't think she wants to be a killer. She is not talking about killing innocent people. I am hearing that Bella feels maybe trapped, and powerless as a human. It's hard living in a world filled with monsters and you think and are told that you have to be the victim all the time. I think Bella just wants to feel important and powerful in her own right."

"Yeah," breathed Bella.

"Maybe if we got you to learn a little bit more about the" I dropped my voice so Charlie wouldn't hear, "'werewolves and vampires, and we taught you the humans' role in all of this."

Bella sighed. "Yeah."

"But you can't force our hand. You can't stop taking your medicine. If the medicine makes you feel like you don't want to be a Cullen anymore we can tweak it, but you cant just stop, you'll swan dive."

"Okay," she said.

"How much were you taking when you stopped?"

"Twenty."

"Okay that is a starting dose so I want you just to start taking that again."

"Okay."

"How do you feel right now? What do you want to do?"

"Sleep."

"Okay, let Edward carry you upstairs, and Charlie will be up there in a minute."

Edward scooped her up with no problem at all, and began carrying her up the stairs. Turning to Charlie, I said, "If she takes her pills and they get back into her system there should be no problem." I wrote down Emily's home number on a slip of paper. "Moved out of the Cullen's house. Nothing bad, just a long story. This is where I am staying. If she gets worse or refuses to take her meds call me. Hospitalization might be our only option at that point."

"Am I gonna lose my daughter?" he asked huskily.

"God no," I said. I thought about the pack. "No one is loosing anybody. That is why I'm here." I sighed. "I'll come check on her tomorrow." Hopefully I'll have this werewolf thing handled. Yeah, I'm gonna have turning into a dog when I'm angry and the whole shit with my parents handled in twenty-four hours, I thought sourly.

"Okay thank you," he said.

I went outside and all of the Cullens and the entire pack with the Council members were out there, except Edward.

"How's Bella?" asked Jacob.

"She stopped taking her fucking medicine, because she wants to die," I spat. "And because I was completely out of it for three days, I didn't catch it."

"That's not your fault," said Carlisle.

"No its not," I said. "But it's not fair. I can't watch twenty people and make sure they're all on their meds and they're all in a group and they're all processing shit, if I am having black outs for three days!"

"Maybe you shouldn't be doing therapy right now," suggested Sue.

"Yeah that is a great idea," I said, "except that Paul is gonna get expelled and Bella gonna commit suicide and Leah is going to just straight up run away."

"None of that is gonna happen," said Seth.

"We can run group by ourselves," said Jasper. "I can facilitate, cause you know empath."

"Yeah," said Emmett, "We can work together for a few days to give you a break while you learn this. It won't be hard."

"Emmett, I'm gonna need a few weeks."

"That's okay. I think."

"Just take care of yourself," said Alice.

Edward came from around the corner. "She's asleep. She's taken her meds, showered, and eaten. I don't think there is much else we can do for her tonight. I am gonna stay with her, but if you need to go home..."

"Call me the moment she's awake. I need to assess her again and make sure that we can talk on Monday or if we need to talk sooner."

"Sisi, you need to rest,'' said Alice.

"I can manage," I said.

"Alright," Edward said.

I turned to the Cullens. "Seriously, text if you need me. I can move things around."

They nodded.

I turned to the pack. "Okay let's go," I said.

"We're running home?" asked Quil.

"Did you bring your car?"

"No," he said.

"Then lets go."

We got to the edge of the forrest, and phased. It was easier this time, and it didn't hurt. We started running, and I let Sam lead the way home for a while, and then I caught up with him and ran ahead of him.

"_Serena, where are you going?"_ asked Sam.

"_Come on,"_ I said.

"_Home's that way,"_ protested Paul.

I ignored him. I led them to a small stream with a bunch of big rocks that jutted out that were big enough for us to all sit on.

"_Pick a rock and make yourself comfortable,"_ I said.

"_What are we doing?"_ asked Sam.

"_Having therapy."_


	45. Chapter 45

Warning: Lots of language in this one guys sorry

"_What?" _screamed Paul.

"_We're doing this tonight?" _asked Sam.

"_If we're fine," _said Collin,_ "can we go?"_

"_No," _I said._ "And yes we're doing this tonight. Well, we're starting this tonight."_

"_Starting?" _asked Quil.

"_Pack dynamics is complex. It might take a couple of sessions." _

"_Sibling rivalry is common. Don't you have brothers and sisters?"_ asked Seth.

"_I am a single child, but this isn't sibling rivalry. You are taking your personal pain out on each other."_

"_No we're not!"_ yelled Paul.

"_You're putting us all in therapy for Leah's problems?" _asked Jared._ "How is that fair?"_

"_Shut up!" _said Leah growling.

"_Oh bite me, bitch!"_

"_Happy to!"_

Leah and Jared started to jump at each other snapping at one another.

"_Enough!" _I said, and they stopped fighting._ "Okay, everyone pick a rock or something that you can get comfortable on."_

Seth went and laid down on a log, Leah got up on a high boulder, the rest of the pack laid down or sat on places on the forest floor.

"_Okay, all of you have been phasing for at least six weeks, so I want you to tell me your reaction to it. And don't just tell me it sucks, tell me what you don't like. Are you scared? Angry? Sad? Happy? What? And why?"_

No one said anything. Finally I said, _"We got all night and tomorrow is Sunday, so yall have nowhere to be."_

Finally, Quil shook his big brown head_. "I like it," _said Quil._ "You know before I phased I was really lonely and didn't have any friends, but now I have this whole group I get to hang out with everyday. I have never been so close with a group of people."_

"_Okay. So the pack is a sense of community to you. That's great Quil."_

"_I like it too," _said Seth._ "Billy says that we're like warriors and we are protectors and that's really cool."_

"_Yeah, that is cool. The pack gives you a sense of purpose and achievement."_ I said looking around to the others and saw that they weren't talking. I realized we needed some negative traits of being a werewolf.

"_Well," _I said._ "I know I have only been a werewolf for like five days, and I was asleep for three of them, but I hate being a werewolf, for a couple of reasons. One, it connects me to my father, and my dad was not really a great person. He gave me over to the Volturi where I was tortured until I was bitten, so I don't like having that bond with him. Also, I have lived as a vampire for so long I know all the rules, you know how to hunt, how to stand human blood, how to fit in with humans, I don't know anything about being a werewolf. I mean just phasing hurts. Also, you know all of my family are vampires, except you guys, so I'm kind of all alone. I can't call my mom and talk to her about how scary it was to phase for the first time, cause she's never done it. And the Cullens, they like can't be around me anymore. And I am so sick I am missing sessions and now Bella got sick. So yeah, I could live without it."_

"_I hate to break it to you," _said Leah,_ "but it gets worse."_

"_Oh fantastic,"_ I said.

"_I am fine with being a werewolf," _said Jacob._ "Just Bella looks at me differently because of it. She thinks that I am angrier and can't control myself more. She would love me more if I was human."_

"_If love is conditional," _I asked._ "Is it love?"_

"_Dude, she is so bad news for you," _said Quil.

"_Maybe with this medicine," _Jacob said,_ "She can come around."_

"_Jake," _warned Sam.

"_Get off it Sam!" _yelled Jacob.

"_Okay, were changing subjects," _I said._ "If he doesn't want to listen to you, Sam, you can't make him, Jared, you want to go?"_

"_I guess everything has been said. It's fun but it comes at a price. You don't feel human anymore. Things get better when you imprint."_

"_Okay. Good summary. Paul?"_

"_Okay, I guess the first time I saw a dead body, I threw up. And I get angry a lot that the Cullens are even allowed to be here, because they are what cause us to phase. No offense Sisi. I didn't have any plans after high school so my life doesn't suck there, but it just makes everything ten times worse."_

"_Makes you really emotional," _I said.

"_Yeah," _Paul said.

"_Okay. Who's next?"_

"_I guess," _said Embery._ "I don't mind the phasing, just everything is so hard. My parents don't know anything, so like I am grounded right now for sneaking out, and I am gonna get grounded again for sneaking out tonight. I don't have an imprint, not like I want one, but just there supposed to make stuff better. Everything is kind of, grey, if that makes sense."_

I sighed. _"Maybe we can tell your parents something that is not the whole secret. Doesn't Sam have some clout with the adults? Can't we just say that you're doing something for him."_

"_Not till 2 in the morning every night."_

I bit my lip. _"Let me work on it. And I don't like you feeling grey."_

"_I am doing good," _said Colin.

"_Me too," _said Brady.

"_When do we get to meet girls?" _asked Colin.

I rolled my eyes, and put my paw out._ "You have to be this tall to ride."_

Everyone laughed but Collin and Brady. Brady puffed out his chest, and Colin stood up on his hinds legs to make himself feel taller.

"_Leah, how are you doing?" _I said, ignoring the boys.

She sighed._ "Well, it would help if you weren't so damn pleasant and the guys got that I was going through something."_

"_I'll snap at people. I promise," I said._

"_I don't know what my problem is. Maybe I'm just like Bella and I can't get over a fucking guy."_

Sam bowed his head in shame.

"_Okay," _I said slowly,_ "lets examine the last three months of your life. You changed into a werewolf, which should not have happened but it did, your father died before your eyes, you had to basically grovel at your ex-boyfriend to help you understand a whole new world, it doesn't help that his fiance is your ex-best friend and cousin, and you want to fight your way out and move on, but we are pretty sure you cant imprint, or have kids. Is that a pretty fare statement?"_

Leah choked back a sob. _"Yeah."_

"_Leah, no one could handle that, okay. My mom knows everything about you guys cause I have to report to someone, but she just knows case numbers and diagnoses and stuff, she couldn't pick you out of a line up. She is worried about you. Seriously, you. She tells me all the time 'keep an eye on the girl werewolf she has too much on her'. Okay. Cause lets face it, making a smart remark to Sam is only that satisfying. Leah, you have been through a lot, and we need to get you_ _some coping skills. And you know what, if you can go through all that and come out of it and the worst the guys can come up with is 'she is annoying and mean', that's pretty damn good."_

Leah grinned at me through her tears. Seth went over and sat by her. They muzzled each other giving one another a hug. I could feel through our connection that Leah was comforted.

"_Sam, thoughts?"_ I asked.

"_Let's go home,"_ he said. He turned and started walking towards La Push.

"_Hey!" _said Seth.

"_How come we didn't get to say that?"_ asked Collin.

"_Sam!"_ I said in my alpha voice. He stopped walking. _"Come back here."_

Slowly, he turned around, and walked back toward the group.

"_How did you do that?" _asked Brady.

"_Doctors orders,"_ I said.

Sam came and sat down. I could tell by his body language that he was pissed. He had never had an alpha order placed on him before, and he hated it.

"_I don't want to talk right now," _he said.

"_Sam, we got all night. What is your reaction to phasing?"_

Everyone sat and stared at Sam. His mind was blank, literally blank. He wasn't thinking of Emily, Leah, his mom, his dad, the Cullens, nothing.

I met his challenge. I just sat there and stared at him. I decided that his eyes were yellow, actually, they were hazel with specks of brown in them. He had kind of a black bear shaped nose. I think he was six three, more likely six four on all four paws, about six seven human, and most likely weighed about 190 pounds, all muscle.

"_You sizing me up?"_

"_You giving me nothing to work with so I got to make something up. Now you gonna talk to me or is this going to take us til three in the morning?"_

"_What do you want?"_

"_I want you to tell me that Billy is not gonna get me up at three o'clock in the morning cause you have a gun to your head."_

"_I would never try to kill myself."_

"_Again. You would never try to kill yourself again."_

"_What?!"_ screamed Paul.

"_Oh my god,"_ said Leah.

"_Fuck you," _said Sam.


	46. Chapter 46

We all went to Emily's house. Sam led the way. He still didn't say anything about what I had said to him. Everyone was trying to talk to him except me and Leah who were giving him his space. His mind was completely blank. Occasionally, he would think of Emily in the shower, but that was just to get us to shut up.

We got to Emily's house and we all phased out, and got dressed. Leah let me borrow her clothes again.

"Okay, so I owe you three outfits from Target now," I said.

She laughed. "Just take care of Sammy, and Bella, I guess. We will call it even."

I grinned, "okay."

"I can't believe Sam kept the secret from us. I can't believe he could keep a secret from us."

I sighed. "I told him to tell you, Emily, and Jared that he was suicidal and give you a copy of a piece of paper so that y'all knew what to do if he ever well… felt bad. I take it that didn't happen."

"He said nothing to me or Jared," she said. "He could have said something to Emily."

"We need to check his meds," I said.

"He's on meds?" she asked.

"How did he hide that from you?" I sighed. "God, he's worse than Bella."

After we changed, we went into Emily's house. All of the boys were there standing in the kitchen and the living room. Sam was holding Emily. I came in and leaned on the refrigerator, and Leah stayed in the doorframe. Then above Leah's head I saw the clock on the wall.

"Christ, it's not even ten fifteen," I said.

Rachel laughed.

"I thought it was like three in the morning," I said.

"You want some coffee?" asked Emily.

"Yeah," I said.

She poured me a mug. "How do you like it?"

"A shot of milk please."

She grabbed a half pint of milk, and poured it into the coffee. Then she put the milk up and handed me the cup. I breathed it in, and then took a small sip. It was delicious.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Is Bella going to be alright?" asked Rachel.

"Charlie is going to keep an eye on her, and Edward is too. He is going to text me when she is up and lucid and we are going to talk. I don't think she needs a hospital."

"That's good,'' said Emily.

"That took you from three thirty in the afternoon to ten fifteen at night," asked Kim. "You spent seven hours figuring out that she was off her pills and didn't need to go to a hospital."

"No we were at the Swan house thirty minutes to an hour," I said.

"Oh," said Emily. "Then where the hell were you guys? We have been worried sick."

"Well," I said.

"Pack business," said Sam.

"Well we know that!" exclaimed Rachel. "What were you doing? Was there a vampire in the area?"

"No, we just had an impromptu therapy session that lasted a little over four hours," I said.

"What's going on?" asked Kim.

"Nothing," said Sam. "We just needed to get some stuff off of our chests," he said, kissing Emily. "Sorry to worry you."

"You're lying," said Emily. "You kissed my nose, then you kissed my scars. You only do that when you're nervous or somethings wrong."

"What the hell is going on?" asked Rachel.

"Well," I said. "Sam is partially right. We had a therapy session and a lot of the pack got things off their chest. But, Sam told us that he has tried to kill himself before."

By this time, all of the packs were by their imprints. So, Rachel clutched Paul's hand with a death grip, and Kim just covered her face and turned into Jared's chest. But who I was watching was Emily. She was putting dishes in the dishwasher and for a second she acted like she did not hear what I said, but I knew that she did.

Finally, she cleared her throat. "When did this happen?" she asked.

"When you were hurt," he said softly.

"You came to me and asked if I would let you die," she said, still not looking at him. "And I said no."

"I finally had to try something," he said.

"What did you do?"

"Tie rocks to my feet and jump off the cliffs. There was a storm coming up so I figured the current would drown me."

"Where was I?"

"You were out of the hospital. You didn't want to see me cause I broke up with Leah."

"So you obviously didn't die. What happened?"

"I washed up on shore and cut the rocks off. Just kind of laid there for a minute, then I went home."

"You kept it from everyone?" she asked. "Your mom? Billy? Harry?"

"Serina was the first one who figured it out."

"Why did you keep it from me?" she asked, turning around. There were no tears in her eyes.

"I didn't want you to have guilt," he said.

"Try again."

He took a deep breath. "I didn't want you to treat me differently."

"Try again."

He sniffed, and rubbed his eye. My heart broke for the kid, but he needed to get this off his chest. Finally, he choked out, "I didn't want anyone to stop me if...if I needed to try again."

Emily went over and put her arms around his neck, even though she had to stretch to do it. She kissed his cheek and then his lips.

"You still want to die," she said.

"Sometimes," he whispered.

"Okay honey," she said. "Let's get Billy over here, and we can figure this out."


	47. Chapter 47

I called Billy. He needed to know about Bella, then I told him about Sam.

"What does he need?" asked Billy.

"I don't want him alone,'' I said. "Basically I want him with Emily or one of the elders. I am not sure if Emily can take care of him if he tries something."

"I'm coming over. We need to send him to Sue's," said Billy. "She's a nurse, and he will listen to her."

I thought about Leah, and hoped she could understand that Sam needed this.

"Okay, can you call Sue and I'll tell the pack?" I asked.

"Sure," said Billy. "Sue and I will be over in a minute."

"Kay," I said, and hung up.

I went into the living room, all the guys were there.

"Any news?" asked Paul.

"Yeah, but first I need to talk to Leah," I said. Leah stood up from sitting on the hearth. "Leah, let's go on the porch."

Confused, she followed outside, and I led her out onto the porch.

When we were outside, I looked at her and smiled. "Leah, I'm gonna ask you to let me do something that is going to hurt you but it's gonna help Sam. Sam is not more important than you, but I'm at my wits end on how to take care of him."

She took a shaky breath. "What does he need?"

"I want him to live with your mom so she can take care of him when I'm not here. He's not taking care of himself Leah, and if he is left alone, he could hurt himself. Your moms a nurse, and she can take care of him."

Leah set her jaw. "You need to take care of Sammy," she said.

"Tell me the truth Leah. Do you want to be away from Sam?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to come live with me?"

"Can I do that?"

"I have a bed and a couch that is long enough for one of us. We can swap off, and it shouldn't be bad."

"Okay, let's do it."

We walked back into the room, "Okay here is the plan. Sam is going to stay at the Clearwater's for a while cause Sue is a nurse and will keep him on his meds and can call me if something is wrong."

"Why can't I take care of myself?" he asked.

"Because you attempted and didn't tell anyone," I said. "I don't trust you and I am worried about you."

"I'll watch him," cried Seth.

I grinned at Seth. "I know you will. Can you make him take his meds, and eat, and shower and stuff?"

"Yep."

"Good job. Because it's going to be awkward with an ex-girlfriend and fiance coming in and out of the house checking on Sam, Leah is going to come stay with me."

"Any way you can just keep her there?" joked Jacob. Half the pack laughed, in fact most of the pack lagged except for Seth and Sam.

"Fuck you Jacob," Leah said.

"Okay that is it five dollars," I said, and held out my hand.

Jacob stared at me for a minute and just didn't say anything. Quil busted out laughing, and Paul had a smirk on his face.

"I don't have my wallet on me," he said when he realized I was serious.

I pulled out my phone. "I'll text your dad to bring your wallet. Where is it?"

"Nightstand."

"Jacob needs his wallet," I sent Billy.

"Why?" he said.

"He said a comment about his sister and it pissed me off and now he owes me five dollars," I said.

"Just locked up," he said. "I'll pay you and he can pay me back."

I relayed this information to Jacob.

"You're seriously gonna make me pay you?" he cried.

"Yep."

Billy and Sue got here within five minutes of each other. Sue had not changed out of her scrubs and I could tell she had a long day too.

"Why is Leah staying with you?" she said quietly.

"It's hard sleeping with your ex under the same roof," I whispered. "And Ems gonna be coming in and out to check on him."

Sue nodded. "If it's okay with Leah, it's okay with me."

Leah got ready to go home and packed up.

"You're not going to tell her intimate details about our lives, will you?" asked Quil.

"Honey, she knows intimate details about your life. But no, I will not discuss Bella or the Cullens with her." Then, I thought for a minute, "Actually Le," I called. "Between Bella and Sam I'm gonna be pretty busy. You might have the whole house to yourself."

"Cool," she called back. "I'm basically gonna be catching up on school work. And you know, surveying the Cullens forest so when we ultimately attack and kill all of you, when Bella breaks the treaty."

"Oh ye of little faith, give me time. Bella's been on her meds for two weeks, and she stopped taking them because they made her happy to be alive and not want to be a vampire. If I can do that in two weeks imagine what I can do in six months if we could get her compliant."

They all stared at me. "You really think Bella will not want to be a vampire if we can get her on meds and stuff?" asked Jacob.

"Yeah," I said. "She figured it out and stopped taking them. Where were y'all at like 3 o'clock today?"

"So if she takes her meds right?" asked Quil.

"Then, we may have a new Bella on our hands," I said.


	48. Chapter 48

Note: there is no way Leah would be privy to Serina's notes in real life, but I am just making it interesting.

My phone rang at 7:00 in the morning and I jumped to get it, because it could be Edward about Bella, or Sue about Sam.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, honey," came the voice of my mom.

"Mom, it's seven in the morning over here."

"Time to get up."

"Why are you calling," I groaned.

"Well I was thinking? Does that support group help you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you can't talk to them about what you're going through. You can't tell them anything about who Caius was or why he did what he did to you. You have to pick and choose details to talk about. And then you can't get into stuff about your life like your father and things."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Well, let me click someone on and they will explain."

I heard a tone, and then I heard a male English accent say "Hello Serina can you hear me?"

"Simon. Simon Lewis, is that you?"

"Top of the mornin to ya," he said.

"Oh my god, you dragged Simon into this?" I asked.

"Well," said my mom, "He's been a friend of the family for years."

"Right, so as your mom explained it," said Simon. "You changed jobs from working at a museum to working as a therapist, which is what you always wanted to do. You were having nightmares so you started going to a group, but then you got accosted, and then you just missed some cause of changing into a werewolf, and now your patients are getting in bad shape and that is affecting you personally right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah that's basically what happened."

"And you still are having nightmares about you being assaulted, and you are having some negative feelings towards your dad."

"I'm not happy with my mom either," I said.

"What did I do?" asked my mom.

"Your fucking kidding right!"

"Okay, some anger and hostility towards mom," he said. "Listen, a group of humans is not going to address all of that. So you can keep talking to the humans and putting a band-aid on it, or you can talk to me, and we can get to work."

"When are you available, cause I am pretty busy."

"You're a werewolf, you have to eat right? Let's meet up at 7 pm your time tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Right. See ya then." He clicked off.

"Thank you honey," said my mom.

"I'm not talking to you," I said and hung up.

Leah walked into the room. "You look like hell."

"Mom decided that my support group wasnt working, so she got me a therapist. Of course she didn't ask for my opinion."

"My mom makes me go to you when I have better things to do," she said.

"Right," I said. "Better get to work."

"You should shower and eat first," said Leah. "Don't want to show up to Bellas looking just as bad."

"Right," I said.

I went into my bedroom, and picked out an outfit. I wanted something comfortable, so I selected some jeans, a sports bra, a blue tank, and some blue cheap sandals from Target that I talked Alice into letting me buy. I showered quickly, dried my hair and changed.

"Cute," said Leah.

"Thanks," I said.

I grabbed my computer and fired it up, sitting at the kitchen table.

"I'm just going to think out loud, so ignore me if you want," I said.

"Kay," said Leah.

"So in the last twenty-four hours, Bella is off her meds, and showing signs of self harm and depression. She needs an assessment today, asses safety plan, and possible intervention. That can take an hour to three hours."

"What does that look like?"

"I am making this up as I go along," I said. "Sam needs at least a check in, maybe a session, possible intervention if he doesnt feel better. That can take like an hour to three hours.

"Alright, then that means that maybe I could get back on track. The groups I am not worried about so much because we are doing so many that people kind of need them but they really dont. What I would really like is to see all the people I didn't see before I phased and get back on track."

"So you are going to run therapy, tend to two people in crisis, and learn how to be a werewolf?" asked Leah.

"Don't have much choice," I said.

"Your crazy."

"No I'm not. I just need to be organized," I said. "Okay I got Bella and Sam who need direct intervention and Bella is worse than Sam. So, first, I am gonna text Edward, and figure out what time she went to sleep, and therefore what time she will be up, and we can go from there." I texted while I was talking. "Edward said she was in bed at nine. Let's give her till eight to sleep in, I'll be over there at eight thirty. What did I say? Up to a three hour session. Okay I'll leave at eleven thirty, noon. Then half an hour drive to La Push. I'll grab something to eat. Do a session with Sam at one. Come home at two, get home at two thirty."

"You're insane," said Leah.


	49. Chapter 49

I got to Bella's on time, and rang the doorbell. Bella answered the door herself wrapped in a blanket, but she didn't say anything and went back to snuggle next to Edward on the couch. She looked a little better, like she slept well, and maybe had something to eat. I saw that there were some half eaten pancakes on the breakfast counter.

"Good morning Bella?"

"Hi," she said.

"How are you feeling today?"

She pulled her feet up. "Not great. The hole is back even though Edward is here, and I don't know why that is."

"That is because you went off your medication," I said.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

I turned around, to see where Charlie was.

"He has gone to work," said Edward. "He says she will be fine if I stay and watch her."

I nodded. "Bella, forcing Cullens' hand to turn you by not taking your meds is making _you _sick. Do you understand that?"

"I started thinking about maybe not turning for like five years or after college or after grad school, and I realized if I wanted to turn now I needed to stop taking them."

"But Bella," said Edward, "You are miserable right now. For the past two weeks you have been happy, why jeopardize that just to become one of us when you don't even care when you are on the medicine?"

"What if I decide not to be one of you, and you leave me again. I can't go back to feeling like that again."

"Bella," I said, "you already have gone back to feeling like that again by not taking these pills. These pills are not the problem, Bella. Something else is the problem. You want to change so bad, that you are willing to be miserable until someone changes you instead of being content that you are exactly as you should be. Why?"

Bella took a deep breath, and a tear rolled down her face. "I don't know," she said.

"Yes, you do," I said.

"I feel weak," she said. "I feel like anything can hurt me, and people are going to get hurt to stop it. And I guess I should be used to it, being a cop's daughter, but I am not. I want to be strong and beautiful and sexy like Rose and Alice and I can't cause people won't let me, and I don't know what to do."

"Okay," I said. "Honey, I don't know if you can figure this out, but when a hundred year old vampire and sixteen year old werewolf who lives half an hour away are willing to kill each other for your hand, you're pretty. You're drop dead gorgeous. You're sexy."

She laughed.

"This is why Rose and Leah hate you."

She laughed again.

"Bella, if you have low self-esteem as a human and then you change into a vampire, you are going to have low self-esteem as a vampire. You might be the prettiest girl Edward's ever laid his eyes on, and all your gonna see is, 'I'm not Rose, I'm not Alice, I'm not Esme.' So you need to take your medicine and talk to me, so we can figure out if turning is the best thing for you."

"Okay," she said. She got up and went to her room and took her medicine.

"Good girl," I said.

"Can we like hang out today," asked Bella.

"Edward can. I got about five million things I got to do."

She nodded.

I looked at my phone, and saw that it was only eight forty. "But we got twenty minutes left, so we can just talk and hang out if you want to."

Bella nodded. "How have you been?" she asked.

"I have been better," I said. "Turned into a werewolf and found out that my clients are sick, so not a great situation."

"It got really rough for Jake," she said.

"Yeah," I said. "It's already gotten rough."

"Most of them take several weeks to get used to it. I am surprised you can handle things so quickly."

"Well I am a clinician. I mean I just took a few days off and you and Sam are already really messed up."

"What is wrong with Sam?"

"Shit, confidentiality. I can't."

"Jake said Sam has gotten kind of bad before, like depression and suicide."

"He's having a rough time," said Edward.

I put my head in my hands. "I just broke confidentiality for no reason. I am gonna lose my job."

"I was going to tell her anyway," said Edward. "I think it's best for her not to go up to La Push until Sam feels better. I was about to call Jacob and offer to let him come down here. I don't think Sam would intentionally hurt her, but with the stress he is having, I don't want her to go out there."

"Is Sam really that bad?" asked Bella.

"You know that cliff jumping they do?" asked Edward. "Sam found out you could survive it by accident."

"Oh my god," said Bella. "That was before the Cullens left."

"Yeah," I said.

"Is he okay?"

"We're taking care of him."

Edwards phone rang. "What Alice?... What?... Are you sure?... She is right here." He handed the phone to me.

"Hey Alice, what's wrong?"

"Jasper wont stop eating," she sobbed. "I've never seen him like this."

"Can you get him on the phone?"

"No."

"Has he killed anyone?"

"No."

"Where are you?"

"Our house."

"I'm on my way." I hung up and handed the phone to Edward. Looking at Bella, I bit my lip.

"I'll call you if something happens," said Edward.

Bella curled up next to Edward, and was about to fall asleep.

"Go to bed," I ordered her.

"Don't leave her," I said to Edward. "I'll text you."


	50. Chapter 50

I decided to go to the Cullens house first and check on Jasper, since it was on the way to La Push. Since I hadn't told Sam when I was going to see him today, it wasn't an issue.

I pulled up to the Cullens house, and started to text Alice, "I'm here. Where r u?" when she texted me, "Main house, kitchen." I laughed at her ability to see the future.

I got off the bike and went inside. Inside, Carlisle and Esme were standing by the sink in each other's arms, Rose and Emmett were standing by the wine rack, and Alice was sitting in Jasper's lap playing with his hair at the kitchen table.

"Thank you for coming," said Carlisle.

"Did you think that I wouldn't?" I asked.

"We just know this is a stressful time," he said.

"Well, when it rains it pours," I said. "Isn't there a time in the ER when everyone and their brother is in a car wreck?"

"Six at night," he said. "Everyone tries to die at six at night."

I smiled at him.

Walking over to Jasper, I saw him stiffen a little.

"I think we need to talk," I said. "So do you want to go somewhere private, or do you want your family here so they can help figure out what to do?"

"I want everyone here," he said.

"Okay let's all go to the living room and sit down. More comfortable. Help you relax."

He nodded, and Alice took him by the hand and we all went into the living room. Jasper sat on the couch and Alice snuggled up with him. Rose and Emmet sat on the other end of the L-shaped sofa. Carlisle sat in his professor's chair, and Esme sat in his lap, and I sat on the ottoman.

"Alright Jasper," I said. "Tell me your version of what happened."

"I went hunting and I couldn't stop eating," he said.

"Okay, can you tell me why?"

He shrugged.

"Lots been going on the last couple of days," I said. "Why don't you tell me everything that has happened from your side of the story since about Wednesday or Tuesday, and how it made you feel."

"Okay, well Wednesday, you went to go hang out with the werewolves, which I didn't like cause Alice cant see you, and you had a seizure and turned into a werewolf."

"How did that make you feel?"

"It freaked me out," he said. "I didn't know if you had been attacked or hurt. Then, we decided to keep you on La Push so the werewolves could take care of you, but they wouldn't call us and say if you were doing any better. They picked up when your mom called, but they said you were throwing up blood, and running a fever, and they wouldn't let Carlisle see you."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Mad. I didn't know if they knew what they were doing, or if they even cared about you enough to take care of you. Then we finally break the treaty and you come out, and your better, but then your telling us that you have to move and your telling us goodbye, and you will only see us for sessions and stuff."

"That probably made you really depressed."

"Yeah. And I can't do anything about it. I mean what am I supposed to do? Make you turn back into a vampire and live with us? Bella says that the werewolves have more freedom and stuff."

"I think it sucks either way."

"Well then it got worse, cause we heard today that one of the werewolves who supposedly takes care of you apparently doesn't have his head on straight. And I was scared he was gonna do something stupid.

"Then Bella gets sick and I go see her to make her feel better, and I feel her emotions are just spiraling down and I can't help her cause she is just in such bad shape. So I just came home, and then… I couldn't stop eating."

I sighed. "Okay, that was good. Listen I am gonna tell you what my mom tells me. Vampires are kind of the exact opposite of werewolves. Werewolves wear their hearts on their sleeves and get upset and excited about every little thing. Vampires, we don't care about anything unless we want to. Think about Edward. He didn't have a girlfriend from 1918 to 2005 cause he didn't care. So the fact that you care that I got sick, and Bella got sick, and it affected you is amazing."

"Really?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah. And I know you want to beat yourself up because you got upset, but the fact that you showed emotion and got upset is progress because newborns don't think like that."

Jasper smiled.

"Now about the stress eating," I said.

His smile faded.

"I'm worried but I'm not that worried about it. Let me explain. Let's say a recovering heroin addict gets upset, they go through a break up or something, and they want to use heroin, but go buy a tub of ice cream and eat it all. Is it healthy? No. But, they didn't relapse. They still need to deal with the break up, but in a moment of crisis, they chose the better option. Get what I am saying?"

"Sort of."

"Apply it to you. You basically are a recovering human blood addict."

He laughed.

"You are! You have cravings, and withdrawal symptoms, you're in therapy to make sure you don't hurt anyone. I mean basically you're addicted to human blood. Agree?"

"I have never thought about it like that, but yeah, I guess."

"It's okay, every vampire is. Anyway, stress is a common trigger for every addiction. There was a ton of stress going around the last couple of days. You were around Bella, who you care about, and who was suicidal, basically, and despondent, and that made you really stressed out. You knew Sam was suicidal, and even if you didn't care, that must have stressed you out. Then everyone else was stressed out about Bella and Sam. I know I was. So your mind must have been going crazy. Jasper, when you get stressed, you go towards your addiction. It's natural. So you had the choice to stress eat on some humans or Bambi, and you chose Bambi. That is okay. I'm actually really proud of you."

"Really?"

"Long term, if I do my job, I want you to talk it out instead of stress eating. But today you were fine."

"I thought you would be mad," he said.

"No, you did great. I'm so proud of you."

I hugged him, not minding the blood. "Don't beat yourself up at all. You did two amazing things. Expressed emotions, which most vampires turn theirs off, and feed on animals instead of humans. You should tell Alice you want to do something special to celebrate."

Alice came up and put her arm around him. "Oh we will," she said. Jasper's eyes widened and he smiled.

Laughing, I said, "Okay, I'm gonna go check on my other patients. Bye."

"Bye Sisi," said everyone.

"Thank you," said Carlisle.

"Of course," I said.

"I feel bad for making a big deal out of it now," he said.

"No, I needed to come. You know some people get a mole on their neck and they think it's cancer and it's just a mole. They still need to go to the doctor. I will say this, if he is doing it a lot, meaning he is feeding instead of talking about his emotions, we have a problem. But you know, it's a bad situation. He hasn't had a session this week, and I haven't got to do a lot of work with him yet, so I am fine that this happened."

"Well, I was fine that it happened to. Alice called because he was so disgusted with himself."

"When was he bitten?"

"1863."

"When did he become a vegetarian?"

"1948/1950."

"He has been on human blood for about eighty five years," I said. "It's gonna take eight-five years for him to get off of it."

"Yeah," he said.

"He needs to be gentle with himself," I said.

Alice jumped out of the window and walked up to us.

"You leaving?" she asked.

"I got another house call," I said.

"I can't see you. One of the wolves?"

"That's confidential."

She rolled her eyes, and hugged me. "Thank you for bringing back my husband."

"He's gonna beat himself up for a while. Your gonna have to take care of him."

"Always," she said smiling. "What are you wearing?"

"My clothes won't fit. I had to borrow Leah's stuff."

"Unacceptable. This Saturday, shopping."

I laughed. "Fine."


	51. Chapter 51

Authors note: So no therapist would actually do this because its unetical and Sam is nineteen but i wanted to do this. Its a story.

* * *

I didn't get to La Push until fifteen til noon. I pulled my bike up to Sue's house, and cut the engine. Seth ran outside, followed by Paul and Quil.

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Paul.

"Paul, I have sixteen clients. Three of them decided to go into a crisis while I was turning into a werewolf, and dealing with the fact that my mother lied to me for eight decades. So unless you want to go get a masters in psychology and help me, be patient."

"Why did you help one of the Cullens before you helped Sam?"

"Because I saw Sam last night and I knew he could wait. Jasper couldn't."

"What did Jasper do?"

"That's the need to know information."

"Is he gonna kill someone?"

"If he was gonna kill someone, wouldn't you think you need to know?"

Emily came storming outside. "What's the holdup?"

"Paul's playing guard dog," I said.

"Well, get in here," she said.

I walked past Paul, and went into the house. Sam was on the couch, wearing some sweats and a t-shirt. I don't think I have ever seen him covered up so much.

"Hey," I said.

He looked at me. "No Leah?"

"Sorry. Senior year. Finals week. She graduates high school Saturday."

"Oh yeah," he said. "I guess Bella does too."

"So do Edward, Jasper, and Alice, but it's like the twenty-seventh time, so they don't get a gift."

Sam chuckled a little. "Did you ever do that, go back to high school over and over again?"

"Nope. I just moved around and got fake IDs and was in my twenties forever."

Sam nodded. "That's what I would do. I'd rather be twenty then like sixteen."

"I'm trying to tell Bella that, but that's like talking to a brick wall."

"Is she gonna change?"

"What did I tell you yesterday?"

"If she takes her medicine right, and gets out her own head, she can really enjoy being a human again, and she won't want to change."

"Yep. That's the plan," I sighed. "But we don't need to worry about Bella. We need to worry about you. How was your night? How are you doing?"

He shrugged.

"Sam."

"Sue watched me like a hawk. Billy didn't leave 'til late because he was talking to her about how to take care of me, what to do if I got upset. Paul kind of sat by me and watched me too. Emily was in the kitchen the whole time trying to get me to eat. It was overwhelming."

"Lots of people don't want you to die," I said. "Have you told your mom?"

"I can't tell her."

"Oh yes you can and you will," I said. "You're very close to your mom, and she needs to know."

"What do I tell her?"

"Everything. Come on," I said. I led him out to his truck and got in the front seat.

"What are we doing?"

"Its Sunday at noon. Where is she?"

"I can't tell my mom I am a werewolf. I can't break my own alpha order."

"Well, you can tell her you're bipolar, you're on medicine, and you're staying at Sue's cause you're having a rough time."

"Are you crazy? She is going to ask why I am not staying with her!"

"Tell her that Sue's a nurse and can watch your reaction to the meds better."

"That's gonna insult her!"

"Fine, I'll tell her." I got out of the car and went to my bike.

"FINE!" yelled Sam.

I got back into his truck, and he started it up. We took off.

"Why do you have to go?"

"To make sure you're honest, and I'm your therapist, she should at least meet me. I want to give her my number in case you get sick."

"You're not doing this to Paul or Jacob."

"Paul and Jacob haven't tried to kill themselves and lied about it."

"Is that what this is about?" he asked. "Okay, I'm sorry. It will never happen again."

"That is not what this is about."

"What is this about?"

"You are going to hear from one of your parents that you are loved and need to be on this earth."

Sam rolled his eyes. "This is about my dad?"

"Tell me you dont want to kill yourself because of him, and we can turn the car around."

Sam was silent. "You wouldn't make me do this two weeks ago," he sulked.

"I didn't know you were suicidal two weeks ago," I said.

"I know what this is about. You don't want to have an emotional connection with your parents right now so you are making me have one, even though it is gonna break the treaty."

He was probably forty percent right, but I wasn't gonna own up to that. Instead, I took a deep breath and said, "No, this is about the fact that I turned into a werewolf for three days and everyone decided to stop taking care of themselves, and now everyone is sick, so yeah, I'm gonna make you talk to your mom."

We pulled up to Miss Uley's house. It looked a lot like Emilys with a little garden around the back.

"Aww, this is so cute Sam," I said.

"Did you think we were desolate?" he asked sourly.

"Sam, don't give me attitude. Come on."

We went up to the door and rang the doorbell.

"Come in," came a cheery voice.

I opened the door, but let Sam talk first.

"Hey Mom," he said.

"Sam!" she came bounding up to him and hugged him. "Haven't seen you in forever and you grew!"

"Yeah," he said.

"Who is this?" she asked.

"I'm Serina," I said, holding out my hand.

"Pleasure to meet you," she said, shaking it. "Sammy, you don't need a new girlfriend, do you?"

I laughed. "No, he's still with Emily. I'm Sam's therapist."


	52. Chapter 52

Allison led us to the kitchen and we all sat down.

"Do you want something to drink?" she said.

"I'm fine," I said. "Sam?"

"No mom. I'm good."

"So a therapist," said Allison, taking a breath. "Did he get a DUI I don't know about?"

"Sam?" I asked.

"What? No!"

Allison patted his hand.

I cleared my throat. "What do you know about the group of boys Sam looks after every day at Emily's place?"

Allison sighed. "Basically nothing. Something separates them from other Quilite boys. They go through a horrible initiation process that scares half to death, which is none of Sam's doing, it's like fate or something. They are bound to the land, meaning they can't leave La Push ever. They are extremely emotional but when they find love they seem to calm down a little bit. And they can't ever talk about it to anyone, except the council. And for some god damn reason Sam went first and he got the worst of it."

"Wow, that is 'basically nothing'?" I asked. "I wish Embry's parents were as smart as you. They think he's a drunk kid raising hell."

"Oh no," she said. "My Sam is not like that."

"How did you figure all that out?" asked Sam.

"Well, basically about when you broke up with Leah and dated Emily, everyone was mad but Harry, Billy, and Old Quil, and that is when I figured they were in on the secret. So I boycotted them from the store, until they told me what was going on."

"Mom!"

"Old Quill caved first."

"Wait so you know what I do at night?"

"No, I would love to," she said.

"I don't think that is a good idea," said Sam.

"It's nothing illegal, and if they do it right, it's not dangerous," I said.

"What do you mean 'if'?" she asked.

"Mom, I'm fine," said Sam.

"Well, no your not Sam," I said. "That's why we're here."

Sam sighed, and looked at me, "Do I have to do this?".

"No. Legally, I can't force you," I said. "But I can complicate your life."

"Complicate?"

"Staying with Sue indefinitely. Extra sessions. Daily check ins. One on one support. I can get creative."

"What is one on one support?"

"I get one of the Cullens, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, I'll let you pick, we can switch off, to stay by your side so if you do something crazy, they can stop you."

His eyes grew wide.

"Course if we do that you will need to stay at the Cullens. Alone. Not with the pack. Cause that will get messy."

"Mom there's something I got to tell you," said Sam loudly.

"What is it, honey?" she asked.

"The stuff that bounds me to the land," he said.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's really rough. It messes with my mood. Sometimes I am happy, but sometimes I am so angry I fight somebody."

"Sam, that doesn't sound like you."

"Sometimes," whispered Sam, "I'm so sad I want to die."

"What?" asked Allison.

"I just cry for no reason. And I think about cutting myself."

"Sam!"

"Do I have to tell her about cliff jumping?"

"No," I said, "but I want you too."

"What cliff jumping?" asked Allison, who was crying now.

"You know how Billy made the rule that we have to jump from the low platform so we don't hurt ourselves?" asked Sam.

"Yes."

"I started jumping from higher up because I thought it would kill me, but it didn't."

Alison cried, and put her hand over her mouth to choke back a sob. "You actually tried to die?" she asked.

Sam nodded.

"When?"

"Couple times," he said. "When I ran away last summer, and then when Emily was attacked by a bear."

"Why would you try to hurt yourself when Emily was attacked by a bear?"

"Cause I was the bear."

"What?"

"I'm a werewolf, mom. I get it from Dad's dad. I turn into a big wolf when I get upset."

"What?"

"It's easier to show you. Come on."

Sam grabbed her hand, and led her through the back into the woods, I followed.

"Stay on the porch," Sam ordered, and then he went down the steps and ducked into the woods. A howl came up through the air and Sam reemerged in his wolf state.

Allison descended the steps slowly, and approached her son. Sam dropped down to the forest floor, but he was still about four feet tall. Allison put her hand out and gently rubbed Sam's head, and he stretched up into her embrace.

"Sam," she quietly sobbed.

Sam quickly retreated and went back into the woods.

"Where is he going?" she asked.

"He has to change back, and you need privacy for that," I said. "Come back inside. He will be in soon."

She came back inside, and sat on the couch. I put a shawl around her and hugged her. "It's a lot to take in. How are you?"

"He's hurting, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is."

"Does he really want to die?"

"Yes he does. But you're not gonna lose him. Sam has a lot on him. He internalizes everything and doesnt know how to deal with things that hurt him. He is happier now, but I am worried that if he doesn't learn to cope with pain soon, he might be in bad shape. That is why we came today. I want him to come to you when he feels lost and alone. Well, I want him to go to anyone, but he's not. I think he might talk to you more than Billy or Emily. You just understand the pain he went through. Maybe you can lead him out of it."

"I don't know about that," said Sam. We turned around and saw him standing in the doorway.

"Sam," said Allison getting up, and slowly walked towards Sam. "I can get over your father. Really I have. If he wants to be off somewhere else with another woman, or drugs, or whatever he got into, I'm fine. I'm actually happy he's gone because he didn't bring whatever he had around you. First of all that store has always fed you and got clothes for you, and if for some reason it didn't Billy, Old Quil, Harry Clearwater, god rest his soul, and Charlie Swan would move heaven and earth to get what we need. So I can get over your father. But what would kill me, what I would never get over, is losing you. Do you understand me?"

Sam sniffed, but he nodded. Alison took another step, and wrapped her arms around him. Sam returned the hug and then just let himself cry. I wondered when was the last time he let himself cry.

I stepped outside to let them have a minute and called Billy.

"Hello?"

"I took Sam to his mom, and we told her about the werewolves and his suicide attempts. I know that is against the rules but he needed to have her to talk to and lean on."

"How did she take it?"

"She's handled it pretty well. She is really worried about him."

"Yeah that's a mom for you."

"Sam keeps telling himself he is worthless because his dad left, he needs to hear from his mom that is not true."

"I don't know what to do about him and Paul," said Billy. "I want to hug them and tell them their father is a piece of shit, but they phase every time you mention them."

"In the 1980's Carlisle freed me from the Volturi. I had been in a vampire stage for about half a century. I had been raped, beaten, tortured, and that was just by Caius. I had no clue who my dad was, and I was angry at the entire world. Carlisle just took me under his wing for a decade and just hung out with me, talked to me, loved on me, even when I pushed him away. He didn't mention my dad or Caius, or Aro. He was just there."

"And that helped?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"So just show up and love on them."

"They'll respond to it. Not overnight. But they will respond to it. I did."

"Okay."

I hung up and went back inside. Allison was doing the dishes, and Sam was clearing the table.

"Sam where do you want to stay tonight?" I asked.

"Can I stay at my place?"

"I want you looked after, for a little while."

He sighed.

"Where did he stay last night?" asked Allison.

"With Sue," I said. "She's a nurse and a council member. It made sense."

"Can he stay with me?"

"If he behaves," I said.

"Yes," moaned Sam.

"No vampires tonight. Let Jacob and Paul handle it, okay?"

"Why?"

"Cause you don't want to live. And I said so."

"Fine."

"Do they hunt vampires every night?" asked Allison.

"Yeah."

"Not every night," said Sam.

"How do you not get hurt?" she asked.

"We're built for it mom. One good thing about this damn situation."

Allison let out a shaky breath.

"Sorry," he said.

"No," she said. "It's a damn situation."


	53. Chapter 53

"You look defeated," I said to my uncle.

A smile graced his lips but did not reach his eyes, and he let out a small chuckle. "Defeated," he said, "that's a good word for it."

"This past week has been really difficult for you, I can imagine. As a doctor and a father, to see so many sick and helpless, and not know what to do."

"The worst of it was those three days when they would not tell me if you were all right," he said. "We almost broke the treaty, and if I could have calculated how to not have lives be lost, we would have."

"You eventually did. Just in a human, non-aggressive way, but you stormed the castle for an update on me."

"Yes, that was Edward's idea. He said that the werewolves had come and checked on Bella in a non-aggressive human form before, and perhaps Sam would be compassionate."

"Are you happy with the outcome?"

"I suppose it went as well as it could. If you were not awake, there could have been a fight. I got to see my niece and do my own exam on her, and you got to come home. I guess it was successful."

"Do the wolves bother you much?"

"They are unpredictable. Alice can not see them. With Bella's decision hanging in the balance, I can't tell if they are friend or foe, and that worries me."

"What is your opinion on Bella's decision?"

He wrung his hands together. "I detest the idea of making another vampire. It will put her through so much pain and torture. Just look at Jasper. What happened yesterday, to see him like that, broke my heart. And to think, we are going to put lovely Bella through that. The fact that she wants it means she clearly isn't well or knows what she is doing. But Edward insists on dying with her, that means I have sixty years, at best, with my son. That's a blink of an eye. I can't lose him."

"He was the first one you found right? You adopted him before you married Esme."

"Yes," he said. "I met Esme before Edward, but I changed Edward first then a couple years later, changed and married Esme."

"So when Edward says, 'Im gonna die with Bella,' or when he went to the Vultouri to kill himself, how did that make you feel?"

"I was very disappointed."

"I'd be pissed at both of them."

Carlisle laughed.

"So when Bella gives a deadline to make her a vampire, and stop taking medicine because it makes her want to be human, and Edward runs to the Volturi to die because Bella is dead, and then the werewolves say if you bite her it means war, how does that make you feel?"

"Trapped." 

"Yeah. Trapped. Cause if you do something to please Bella or make Edward not want to kill himself, the werewolves are gonna attack."

"So how do I keep everyone alive?"

"Well, the first thing we got to achieve is keeping you alive and well. 'Cause if i have learned anything this past week, everything is going to fall apart if you aren't taking care of yourself. So what are some things that we can do to take care of you?"

He took a deep breath and put a hand on his chin thinking, "Maybe Esme and I could go to Isle Esme this fall, just the two of us. It's such a lovely place that time of year and it would be nice to get away."

"Okay, plan a romantic trip. Wonderful."

"Also, it would be nice to do some hiking and hunting as a family, just the seven of us again. I know Edward wants to be with Bella, but she would be fine with the wolves for a day, and I think maybe if we got some comradery back. Everyone is so divided about Bella turning, and I think if we all just went and put it out of our minds for a second, that would be nice."

"When is your next day off from the hospital?"

"I have Saturday off."

"I can get Bella to La Push. I am sure Jacob is dying to see her. It would be good to be around the werewolves. If we can just get her and Edward separated, you can have your family day."

"Edward would kill you."

"I'll call it group therapy, vampires only. And I can be in La Push to watch Bella."

Smiling, he said, "Just a day with the family." He sighed. "That would be nice."

"I want to talk to you about something, and I hope you understand that I am being a clinician."

"Of course."

"There has been a lot of thoughts of suicide, self-harm, self-loathing going around. I know you used to struggle with that, any feelings coming back up? Any concerns?"

"You're worried I'm gonna go to the Volturi."

"Well, someone has to stay here and pay for everything."

Carlisle laughed.

"Alright, seeing Jasper get so bad last night, and I almost had to physically hold him down to stop him, yes, some self-loathing and thoughts of just failure and I can not be who everyone needs me to be and I should just kill myself now."

"But you shouldn't. I am going to say the same thing to you that I said to Jasper. Why was last night considered a failure? No humans were hurt, the secret was kept, and the treaty was upheld. Do we need to address that Jasper eats when he is upset, yes, but he didn't fail, and you didn't either. Being the dad does not mean you stop everything from being wrong, it means you are always there, you never leave, and you will pick us up and help us. Jasper didn't know what was happening last night, but he saw you, and he knew that you were going to let it get out of control and that is what a dad is."

Carlisle sighed. "I guess that makes it worth it."


	54. Chapter 54

Note: This is a long Chapter because it's a new group and I want everyone to talk. Sorry.

Leah and I were having tacos and margaritas when everyone came into the house for group.

"Hey guys," I said.

"What the hell," said Paul. "You yell at me when I have a beer, and Leah gets a fucking margarita?"

"I am teaching Leah to drink responsibly," I said. "You are a lost cause."

"Ha ha," said Leah.

"So what is the age limit on the margaritas?" asked Jacob.

"Sixteen is kind of pushing it," I said. "And y'all have to run home. I don't want you bumping your heads on something."

"Why can't I have one?" asked Sam.

"Sweetie, I think it's gonna screw up your meds."

"So basically Leah's your favorite," said Jacob.

"Bout time I'm somebody's favorite," said Leah.

"Leah!" said Sam.

"I'm telling your mom," said Jacob. "No, I am telling Charlie."

"Oh please do," I said. "Tell a cop that you went to your therapist house for an anger management session and you saw your wolf sister drinking a margarita, and you threw a fit cause the therapist wouldn't give one to you, then ask him if you can date Bella instead of Edward. Tell me how that works out."

Sam smiled and Paul just died laughing.

"Okay we are still waiting for one more."

Just then the doorbell rang, and I went to get it.

"Hi Rose," I said.

"Pack of wolves and I am the only vampire," she said.

"But you came."

"Well, I actually missed it while you were sick."

"So it's helping," I said.

She shrugged and walked in. Shutting the door, I followed her.

"Evening Leah," said Rose.

"Hi," said Leah.

"Enjoying your stay?"

"Actually yeah. It's been nice. Last night Sisi and I watched _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. It came on AMC."

"I love that movie."

"Me too."

"You're having slumber parties with the vampires, Leah?" sneered Jacob.

"I'm a hybrid you, moron!" I snapped at him. "If Leah enjoys my presence more than yours, whose fault is that?"

Jacob looked down.

"Everyone is here," I said. "Let's get to work." I led them into the therapy room, and took a seat in my chair. Everyone else grabbed a seat, and Leah and Rose actually sat on the couch together. "So we have met for a few weeks now and I want to start off with what I say every session. Anger is a natural emotion and it's a good emotion. Every single one of us know who Victoria is, and that she is trying to kill people. If we weren't angry about that, if we were happy, or sad, or terrified, or whatever, we couldn't stop her. So anger is a tool to help us accomplish things, but when we use it incorrectly, then it can be destructive. Thoughts?"

"Well," said Roselie, "I guess what is bothering me is I am the only vampire here. And I don't mean that in a prejudiced way, but all of my siblings and my parents are all vampires and it doesn't make them angry. It makes them sad, or like with Emmett he thinks he's superman. But I'm angry. I look at Alice, and I see how sweet she is and how happy she is and just how great she is with Bella and I try, but I am angry and I don't know why."

"Well, I am sure the werewolves can relate to this," I said. "Because there was a werewolf who phased when he was fifteen years old, his dad died, his whole life got turned upside down, and he bounces up and down telling jokes and will not shut up."

"Seth," said Leah.

"Yep. He thinks he is a superhero and he has his band of brothers around him. And if his mom would let him drop out high school so he could hunt vampires all day nothing would make him happier."

Rosalie laughed.

"We process what happens to us based on our situation. Seth was probably feeling awkward and alone and he turned and now he thinks he like wonder wolf. Alice was miserable as a human. She was in an asylum put there by her family, alone, unloved, and tortured. Who would want to go back to that? But you had a great life, and someone took it from you, its okay to be angry."

Sam took a deep breath. "I think my anger may have turned into depression." He sighed. "I don't know what my problem is anymore."

"Start with some basics," I said. "Do you know that anger is okay?"

Sighing, he said, "If I get angry, I lose control, and I hurt people."

"So the answer is to never get angry, just bottle it all up inside?"

"It's better to hurt myself than others."

"No it's not. Cause you're still hurting someone. The fact that it's you and your consenting to it, doesn't make it better. It's best that no one gets hurt at all."

"I can't do that."

"Yes you can. That's why you're here, right? To learn how to manage your pain without getting so angry you hurt someone or yourself. You'll get there. I'll help you."

"Sam," said Paul. "Man, you're keeping it all inside, and now you're talking about offing yourself. Do you think that if you lost your shit the pack won't know what to do? Cause you got like eleven people who are asking you 'how do we kill a vampire?' 'how do we phase out?' 'how do we imprint?' Jared and I know what we are doing. You want Jared to be Alpha for a few weeks and just let you relax?"

Sam looked at me, "What do you think?"

"I think reducing your stress level is a step in the right direction. But only you can make this decision."

"I'll talk to Jared," said Sam. "See if he's up for it."

"If he's not, I'll do it," said Jacob. "You're gonna get sick, man."

Sam nodded, and I smiled at him for taking care of himself.

"Anyone else want to go?" I said.

"We have a choice?" asked Jacob.

"No I was being polite."

"I'll go," said Leah. "Anger is just a natural response for me, even when I was human. People don't like it. People always liked Emily better than me, but I really don't care. When I get angry it's just kind of like, I don't know, I need a buffer between me and people and anger works."

"So it's a defense mechanism," I said. "Sort of a wall to keep people away."

"Yeah."

"What happens when people get close?"

"I get hurt."

"All the time?"

"My dad didn't hurt me, but he's gone."

"Is there someone you could go to? One person you could let in, that you knew wouldn't hurt you?"

She thought for a minute. "Maybe you."

I smiled. "Not a clinician."

"Seth."

"Yeah, try to do something with Seth this week. Just see what happens."

Leah nodded.

"Jake, how are you doing?"

He shrugged.

"This is a verbal exercise," I said.

"I've been better," he said.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been trying to figure out why Bella wants to be with the vampire and not with me, and I think I came up with a solution."

"Oh good."

"When I like phased, it did something to me. Maybe cause I am more werewolf than normal, but basically, I'm not me anymore. She calls it "her Jacob" and "Sams Jacob". Basically, I have a different personality now, and she doesn't want me anymore."

No one said anything for a minute, as I tried to figure out how to respond to that.

"Jacob, do you remember when I turned into a werewolf, about five days ago?"

"Yeah."

"The Cullens kept trying to break the treaty to come see me and my mom kept trying to call and you guys weren't letting them and I got pissed."

"Yeah."

"Well, imagine my mom didn't call, and my cousins didn't come see me, and I woke up and found out they just kinda dumped me on Emily's doorstep. That would be pretty shitty of them right?"

"Yeah."

"I mean I talk to my mom every week if not every day, and the Cullens and I have gone back since Carlisle rescued us. It's been more than therapy. We have gone on trips, went hunting, went shopping, I helped with the treaty, lots of stuff happened. And if they threw that all away cause I was a werewolf then that's their problem right? Not mine."

"Yeah."

"Bella is going through some stuff. But if she wants to treat you differently or throw the whole relationship away because you turned into a werewolf, then that's on her, not on you."

"Thank God someone said that to him," said Leah.

"I'll think about it," said Jacob.

I turned to Paul and grinned. "Last but certainly not least."

"My dad had a violent temper. He used to hit my mom before he left. I get it from him. I never hurt anybody. You know a couple of fights at school, maybe a suspension or two, but nothing serious. When I started phasing, I didn't care I would just let it out when I wanted to. Then Emily got hurt, and I realized I had to be careful. Now that I am with Rachel I feel a little better, but its like a volcano sometimes. I don't know if I will ever control it."

"Did he ever hit you?" asked Roselie.

"Sometimes," Paul whispered.

"What's his name?"

"Ben Lahote."

"I thought you didn't kill humans," said Sam.

"We don't, but we have friends who do," said Rosalie.

"You'll never find him. I've looked," said Paul.

"Vampires are… unconventional," I said. "It's very rare we can't find someone. The question is not can we do anything. The question is would it help if we did something."

Paul thought a minute. "I just want to leave it alone."

"Okay, that's fine," I said, "just a thought."

"I'm scared I am gonna turn into him," said Paul.

"I don't know what possessed your dad to do something like that. But clearly he never learned self control or respect for others. You are learning that. If you were like him, you would use the fact that you were a wolf to terrorize others, but you're not. You're different from your father Paul."

He nodded, but didn't say anything.

"We are a little over," I said, "so can we stop here tonight and pick it up next week, provided I'm sane?"

They all laughed, and went to pack up.


	55. Chapter 55

Basically, about when everyone was leaving, my skype started going off. Simon.

"Checking in with Mom?" asked Sam.

"Yep. See y'all tomorrow," I said.

I flew to my computer and answered skype.

"Hey," I said when Simon's blond hair and soft golden eyes popped up.

"Top of the morning to ya," he said.

"What time is it there?"

"Um its three AM here."

"We can reschedule."

"No. I don't need sleep. Plus I like doing therapy at three in the morning. Gives me something to do instead of watching the tele."

"How many clients do you have?"

"Including you? Ten. I'm only working part time now."

"Are a lot of them like us?"

"Three humans, three wolves, three vamps, and you're the only hybrid."

"Are they all in London except for me?"

"The vamps all started in London and we have phone or skype sessions now, there all over the place. The wolves are all from a small pack in Berkshire, about 40 miles west of here, but they run fast. The humans are all in London yeah." he sighed. "Thank you for faxing that paperwork for me. I know it's a hassle but legalities are legalities. Basically, I don't repeat anything unless you are going to kill yourself, or if someone is hurting you. I know you're a vampire, but vampires have souls so we don't want to die too."

I smiled. This is why I liked Simon.

"So what are the issues you want to address?" he asked.

"You can't lead someone to a place of healing unless you have been there yourself."

"Yes, I have heard that."

"Some of my clients struggle with who they are as a werewolf, or a vampire or a human, I do that. Some of my clients have issues with their fathers, I have a huge issue with mine. One of my client has been sexually assaulted, I was too. So I want to make sure I am taking care of me, so I can take care of others."

"Right. And which do you think is the biggest issue for you?"

"Probably my dad. I know you would think it would be the whole like sexual assault but, I feel like if my dad had been in my life, my life would be so different and I can't help but feel so unwanted."

"How is your dating life?"

"I'm taking a break right now but usually it's pretty active."

"Have you dated more than three men in the last year?"

"Yes."

"Tell me their names."

"A guy named Alex something tried to stick his tongue down my throat so I snapped his neck."

"When was this?"

"Like last week."

"I'm so sorry."

"Not counting him, I don't remember anyone."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I'm a slut."

"No. You're not a slut. When you go on a date what is the most important thing about the man: looks, money, personality, sex, funny, what?"

I thought for a minute. What attracted me to Alex?

"He took an interest in me. Offered to buy my food, talked to me, offered to take me home."

"Right, your father left, for whatever reason, he left. The only man who has taken an interest in you is Carlisle, and you only see him twice a century. Every girl needs to be told by their father that they are special and daddy's princess. Now you are looking for it from men."

I sighed, this was making a lot of sense. I wasn't being cautious the night I met Alex because i just wanted to be held by someone again.

"Let's talk about what happened when you phased."

"Well we were in the woods and-"

"No. The fact that everything fell apart because you missed three days of work."

"Oh," I sighed. "I don't know why that happened."

"Well, are you training your clients to be independent or dependent on you?"

"What do you mean?"

"The goal of therapy is to not need therapy anymore. You are supposed to talk about your problems, and learn to cope on your own. Your clients should not need to see you over and over again."

I thought about how many times I had checked on Bella, Sam, and Jasper the last few days. Am I being overbearing?

"I have two people who are getting suicidal and one who is getting homicidal and I can't hospitalize any of them because it's all related to vampires and werewolves so I have to keep tabs on them."

"How stable are they?"

"Well, I assessed the human girl suicide watch Saturday, and checked on her sunday, and I has a session with her today."

"Do you think she is likely?"

"No."

"Then leave her alone tomorrow. Who else is there?"

"Then there is a male werewolf, twenty years old, phasing two years. He has attempted suicide and didn't tell anyone. Assessed him Saturday, checked on him yesterday, got a session with him tomorrow."

"Is he likely?"

"Hard to tell he is bipolar and his mood flips on a dime. But he is staying with his mom and he's not around weapons, and the pack hears each other's thoughts. I think even if he gets low, he can pull himself out of it."

"Then assess him tomorrow, and trust him. Who else?"

"There is my cousin. He's an empath, and I'm pretty sure he's got some PTSD. Anyway he started a feeding frenzy and we realize he was emotionally eating, and everyone is blaming themselves for that."

"Why is that your fault?"

"Well, the human was depressed so I put her on pills, but I didn't make sure she took the pills then she got more depressed, then the empath picked up on it, and got overwhelmed, and started eating, and now bambi's dead, and he's depressed, and it's all my fault."

"You know on May fifth we had our election, and I voted for our cabinet, and they put in Tony Blair for Prime Minister again. Now, if the Queen gets shot, and Blair is the official ruler of the country until Charles can take over, and Blair makes all of us start driving on the right side of the road, and there is a horrible wreck in London, and a whole family dies, did I kill that family?"

I rolled my eyes. "No."

"You prescribed some medication, and the client didn't take it."

"Oh she took them then she stopped taking them suddenly."

"Oh god, no wonder you're mad. Still, the client was negligent, not you. You can't babysit her unless you want to hospitalize her."

I sighed. "I know."

"How about same time next week?"

"Kay."

"Told you it wouldn't be bad." He logged off.


	56. Chapter 56

Hey, So I am taking a poll. I was thinking of doing a romantic attraction for serinna but wasn't sure how it would go over well. Not sure if people would like her falling for one of her paitents. So please respond I will check in a week. I am not opposed to her doing a weird hybrid imprint on Leah or Bella or another human. If it is an OC please be as descriptive as possible, I am not that creative. Most votes win by 8/25 at 5:00 EST.


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